t0ri Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Quick backstory: My ex dumped me in late February, we didn't speak for 3 weeks. Then he came crawling back promising to work on things, that we'd revert to being on a "break" rather than "breakup" because he wanted to get back together but not right then. So about 3 or 4 weeks go on with this supposed "break" with he and I texting all day, falling asleep on the phone together, and hanging out once or twice a week, then he ends things again. He claimed he "couldn't handle this anymore" because I got mad at him the night before for him making me leave his apartment so two girls could come over. Cool. So it's been a month since he ended things again, and we've only text once during that time - in which he replied yes when I asked if he wanted me out of his life forever. Don't know what changed him from wanting to eventually get back together, to wanting me out of his life forever. Haven't seen him in this month either. But I'm already forgetting him. Not exactly HIM, but his mannerisms and such. I realized I'm forgetting, or having a hard time remembering, how he spoke to me, at what times he'd call me pet names, little things. I remember most things, but it seems like parts of my memory in regards to my ex is fading. It makes it easier to move on, I guess, but it's sad that my best friend and love is not only physically gone from me, but he's fading from my memory as well. I miss him so much and wish I could refresh my memory. I want to feel his hand in mine, I want to run my fingers through his hair, but I have to let go. I've let go of him, but it doesn't make me miss him any less. His myspace says he's a happy camper and blessed. Glad he's happy while I'm feeling tortured with pain. I feel ok for a few days, then have a bad day. It's an endless cycle!! Do I have a bad memory or is this me getting over him somewhat? Isn't this kind of soon to be forgetting?
dudemag Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 What I don't understand is why are yu torturing yourself over someone who made you leave his apartment so not only ONE girl but TWO girls could come over?
notalone Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Thiat's the dillemma I am currently facing too. I don't know what would be more tragic, to remember ot to forget. Remembering him is painful...forgetting is the ultimate loss. Letting go, it seems, has multiple layers.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 You just DO torture yourself because love is a weird thing. You don't love someone just because they are good and nice and sweet - you love them for their faults; through the arguments, misunderstandings etc. The stronger your love (or in some cases the stronger your dependence) the more you will tolerate. But love is such a powerful emotion, that I believe you can put up with almost ANYTHING when you're in the midst of it. Its only when you're through the other side that you realise how much self-respect, pride and self-worth you let slide.
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