GooGooDoll Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Some background info. I met this girl a couple of months at the airport while connecting flights. I discover that she's moving to NYC where I live at the end of april and we exchange information. We send some emails back and forth during this time each taking turns to initiate contact. At the end of april I receive a message from her on MSN letting me know she has just arrived in NY and we end up meeting for dinner. We also make tentative plans for the following morning as she has some errands (one of which includes getting a cell phone) to run before her afternoon meetings and isnt familiar with NYC. The next morning I do not hear from her but receive a text message on my phone saying that she overslept and that she mangaed to get a new phone etc. We text back and forth during the day and I let her know Im heading out to get some food and she is welcome to join me. She declines as she has plans with her roommate but says we should catch up during the weekend. Over the next few days I dont hear from her at all, including no responses to a phone call and a text message asking her how things are doing and if she would like to meet up. A week later I get a text in the middle of the day asking me how Im doing , what I've been up to and that she's finally semi settled in and we should meet up soon. I respond letting her know that things have been good and asking her when she is free. Again no response. I decide to call her that evening and catch her resting and she lets me know that she got my text and she'll get back to me regarding when we can meet up. A few days later we end up chatting on MSN and the conversation is pretty brief, basically each of us asking the other how things have been etc. She lets me know that she's been super busy. As I tell her goodnight she tells me "we'll get together soon I hope" Anyway that was about a week and a half ago and we havent talked since. I did try to call her yesterday but there was no answer. In any case Im pretty sure she's very busy as she is still settling in and so forth but Im not sure how to proceed and a little confused by the on again and off again type of contact. I've resolved to let her make the next move again but am a little anxious I guess about the whole thing as I find her very intriguing and would like to see her again.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 You've already contacted her enough. Everytime it's you initiating and her not replying. I think you have your answer. She's disappeared.
paddington bear Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Sounds to me like she initially liked you, otherwise she wouldn't have swapped information with you, but now something's changed. Moving to a new city and new apartment is stressful and exhausting and there does come a time after all of that where you just want to slob out and think 'phew, it's all over'. However...the not replying to texts or phonecalls is a red flag. You said you weren't going to call her again, so don't, if she contacts you take it from there. In fact if she contacts you again from now on just cool it with the texts and phone calls and emails. It can come across as desperate and needy. Maybe don't even ask to meet up with her, simply enquire as to how she's settling in, what she's been doing. Who knows what caused her change of attitude, that is always really frustrating, however, I've learned that you can never know, and can only look at the other person's actions, and knowing why they are pulling away doesn't actually help anyway, ultimately it doesn't change anything, they're still pulling back. Also, since she moved to the city you don't know who she's met, maybe her roommate hooked her up with someone, maybe she's developed a crush on her neighbour, there could be any number of reasons. Finally beware the 'busy' line. I never buy that from anyone, I've said if before here on LS, it's a catch-all simple word that can mean anything. No one is so busy that they can't spend 3 mintues to send a text message. So take that as a warning sign that she might not be that keen. Move on, find some other girls who intrigue you, allow her to get in touch, keep dating others rather than clinging on to the sole possibility of this girl as you'll feel more desireable and will naturally come across as less needy.
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