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Initial emails. How to follow up?


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Posted

So I've been going for broke and firing off Match.com e-mails. To my amaze, some actually replied back. Maybe 15% or so. Two of the women maybe considered above average looking, but their profile seems to offer they are down to earth. Anyway, about two hours after I e-mailed this woman, she shot me back asking about what I like to do and go. She signed the e-mail get back to me if you are interested. So, last night I got back to her. I was already online so I just replied under and hour. She had read it last night but never replied back. What is a warm non-aggressive way in doing a follow up email to her? Normally I just say, Never heard back from you. Are you still interested? That might be too forward and I have had mixed results.

Posted
So I've been going for broke and firing off Match.com e-mails. To my amaze, some actually replied back. Maybe 15% or so. Two of the women maybe considered above average looking, but their profile seems to offer they are down to earth. Anyway, about two hours after I e-mailed this woman, she shot me back asking about what I like to do and go. She signed the e-mail get back to me if you are interested. So, last night I got back to her. I was already online so I just replied under and hour. She had read it last night but never replied back. What is a warm non-aggressive way in doing a follow up email to her? Normally I just say, Never heard back from you. Are you still interested? That might be too forward and I have had mixed results.

 

If eharmony lets you know that the email has been read, then its safe to say she read it, but is not interested enough to get back to you. Maybe she's waiting for something else to come along, and if that doesn't happen, you can expect her to reply back to in a day or two or perhaps even next week.

Posted

Give it a few days. I sometimes don't get back to people right away. You don't want to come off as high maintenance.

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Posted
Give it a few days. I sometimes don't get back to people right away. You don't want to come off as high maintenance.

 

Very true.

Posted
So I've been going for broke and firing off Match.com e-mails. To my amaze, some actually replied back. Maybe 15% or so. Two of the women maybe considered above average looking, but their profile seems to offer they are down to earth. Anyway, about two hours after I e-mailed this woman, she shot me back asking about what I like to do and go. She signed the e-mail get back to me if you are interested. So, last night I got back to her. I was already online so I just replied under and hour. She had read it last night but never replied back. What is a warm non-aggressive way in doing a follow up email to her? Normally I just say, Never heard back from you. Are you still interested? That might be too forward and I have had mixed results.

 

 

I can't believe how overpriced Match.com is....what is it, like 30 or 35 bucks for a month?? I remember when I used to pay like 20 bucks for a month.

Posted
So I've been going for broke and firing off Match.com e-mails. To my amaze, some actually replied back. Maybe 15% or so. Two of the women maybe considered above average looking, but their profile seems to offer they are down to earth. Anyway, about two hours after I e-mailed this woman, she shot me back asking about what I like to do and go. She signed the e-mail get back to me if you are interested. So, last night I got back to her. I was already online so I just replied under and hour. She had read it last night but never replied back. What is a warm non-aggressive way in doing a follow up email to her? Normally I just say, Never heard back from you. Are you still interested? That might be too forward and I have had mixed results.

 

Just leave it. She might have not had time to reply at that moment. If you send another note before she does reply, it will look desperate. Just be cool about it. IF she's interested, she'll reply back in a day or two. If not, well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

The thing with online dating is that you can't take it personally if someone isn't interested/.

Posted
Just leave it. She might have not had time to reply at that moment. If you send another note before she does reply, it will look desperate. Just be cool about it. IF she's interested, she'll reply back in a day or two. If not, well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

The thing with online dating is that you can't take it personally if someone isn't interested/.

 

Agreed. If I were the girl, I'd be instantly turned off if you sent me another email basically rushing me to respond to the first one. It comes off as pushy.

 

I don't know about you, but I tend to over think those initial internet dating emails. Which means I can read an email from a guy and need some time trying to think about what I want to say and then put it down in the email all the while making sure I don't say anything to turn the guy off. She may be the same way- in fact, I think most women do that.

 

Just give her some time- though not too much time. If after a day or two you still don't hear from her, I think it's safe to assume she's not interested. It is internet dating after all and she has plenty of options to choose from. If you do hear from her and it's a late response, I wouldn't even play the "she took two days so I'm gonna take two days to respond" game. I would just move on knowing she's a flake.

 

Internet dating is rough. I agree though that Match.com is a bit of a rip-off but at least it's better than eHarmony where the powers that be in California (or wherever the heck it's based) sit back and decide how many people you get to date- basically if THEY don't think you match up with anyone, you'll have shelled out $$$ on a membership only to sit at home on a Saturday night.

Posted
Agreed. If I were the girl, I'd be instantly turned off if you sent me another email basically rushing me to respond to the first one. It comes off as pushy.

 

I don't know about you, but I tend to over think those initial internet dating emails. Which means I can read an email from a guy and need some time trying to think about what I want to say and then put it down in the email all the while making sure I don't say anything to turn the guy off. She may be the same way- in fact, I think most women do that.

 

Just give her some time- though not too much time. If after a day or two you still don't hear from her, I think it's safe to assume she's not interested. It is internet dating after all and she has plenty of options to choose from. If you do hear from her and it's a late response, I wouldn't even play the "she took two days so I'm gonna take two days to respond" game. I would just move on knowing she's a flake.

 

Internet dating is rough. I agree though that Match.com is a bit of a rip-off but at least it's better than eHarmony where the powers that be in California (or wherever the heck it's based) sit back and decide how many people you get to date- basically if THEY don't think you match up with anyone, you'll have shelled out $$$ on a membership only to sit at home on a Saturday night.

 

or you just aren't very dateable ;):laugh:

Posted

Similar thing happened to me recently. I did not hear back from a girl for two weeks. I was like what the hell, so I sent her a message saying "I thought you would have a more interesting response than silence. What are you asleep over there?" The next day I got a nice long email from her apologizing and that she has been busy and such and we have been continuing our chats. This is the downside of online dating. Trying to analyze what they are thinking just from their online activity. Sucks. I am going ask her out next week, to get out of the online realm as soon as possible.

Posted
or you just aren't very dateable ;):laugh:

 

Ha! Maybe not :cool:

Posted

Don't be too quick to judge one way or another. I mean, she doesn't even know you yet. Give her a few days. I've been in situations like this where I just didn't feel like replying right away but it didn't mean anything one way or another.

Posted

Some people go into online dating half-heartedly, although they may find you attractive etc, they may not be 'on it' so to speak due to their own mindset.

 

I think it is easier to get a connection with someone face to face, but as we all know, too many opportunitities pass us by and it isnt always easy to meet new people.

 

I would wait for a while and then throw in another message. You may just have to accept that you are not at the top of her list, sorry.

Posted
What is a warm non-aggressive way in doing a follow up email to her?

there isn't one. you wait for her to respond while also "shooting" off emails to other chicks. if she don't respond then she no interested

Posted

No such thing as a follow-up email, this is not a job application. It's either she's interested or not, and looks like either she is not, or playing the waiting game, or busy responding to other guys as well.

Posted

Also, I think your doing the right thing. If I was paying $30 a month and be firing on all cylinders. I'd email every 5+/10 on that site and see what happens. Once you realize it's a numbers game, rejection is like water on a ducks back.

Posted
there isn't one. you wait for her to respond while also "shooting" off emails to other chicks. if she don't respond then she no interested

 

Agreed.

 

I sent a follow up email before, and the girl replied happily, she was busy, blah blah blah, wants to hang out...yeah, she was a total flake. We did go on one date, and we talked a lot, but then she would just kind of dissapear for a week, and then re-appear and try and pretend like nothing happened.

 

If she's flakey during the initial stages, its only going to get worse. Send an email, if they dont respond, oh well. If someone takes longer than 3-4 days to respond, I dont even bother with them. You either like me or you dont.

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