conehead Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 For the first time, my bf asked me about sex after having dated officially for 5 months. I told him I want to wait until marriage, and he said that its ok. I teared up. Then he told me there's no way he'd break up with me over this and that he still loves me and will wait however long I want. It's day 3 since then, and so far he acts like he normally does. But since then, every once in awhile when I'm not talking to him or whatever, I wonder what he's thinking. I'm scared that he'd all of a sudden do a 180 and break up with me. I feel very insecure about our relationship right now...what to do? I'm scared .
Cora Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 In my opinion if your boyfriend truly loves you then he wont leave you over this. He will respect your wishes because you are more important to him. I would not worry because you can't control his actions no matter what you do. You just have to trust him. If for some reason he does break up with you then he WAS NOT the one for you. Someone who is right for you will respect and value your wishes. You have to believe this. Just know if he does not respect your wishes then there is someone better out there for you who WILL. I wish you all the best!
mr.dream merchant Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 For the first time, my bf asked me about sex after having dated officially for 5 months. I told him I want to wait until marriage, and he said that its ok. I teared up. Then he told me there's no way he'd break up with me over this and that he still loves me and will wait however long I want. It's day 3 since then, and so far he acts like he normally does. But since then, every once in awhile when I'm not talking to him or whatever, I wonder what he's thinking. I'm scared that he'd all of a sudden do a 180 and break up with me. I feel very insecure about our relationship right now...what to do? I'm scared . Well first of all, how old are you two? Second of all, if he's a normal guy, its not okay with him, he's only telling you that to protect your emotions and keep you secure. He wants some sex. You already know what he's thinking: "Either this marriage is on its way within this year or its gonna suck not getting laid for 3 years." Depending on how young he is, he may cheat on you. If he's older guy, more mature, he'll just be open with you about how important sex is to him and he'll probably want to leave you before hurting you. Now, my question is, why are you scared? If you boyfriend does not accept you for you, your values and ethics included, then what do you lose when he leaves you? Nothing. He wasn't good for you anyways. Stop worrying, live life.
BCCA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Well, he can respect your wishes and not agree with them. There is nothing wrong with that. If I can ask, how old are you and he? Have you had sex before with other people, or are you saving it for marrige?
BCCA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t180924/ Ok, so you are a 'born again virgin', correct Conehead?
Author conehead Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Not sure what the term is, born again virgin or not...but it is what is described in teh thread carhill posted. Cora - thanks for the encouragement. That is what I've been telling myself lately, though ofcourse it's still scary. I fear my bf will be ok at first, but that this issue will grow bigger over time. I know for a fact we aren't getting married anytime soon mainly because neither of us are financially ready for the cost of a wedding and house, etc. It will be at least a few years, so dunno whether he'd be able to go without sex for that long. That being said, I just hope he sees it that its pateince for a few year but a lifetime of happiness with someone he loves. That is how I'd like to see it.
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