belocchoc129 Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 So I and this guy have dated for 4 months. We're both too busy with school and stuff, do not have much time for each other. However, we try to hang out a couple times a week. I just want a platonic relationship, I don't wanna rush things. So at first, I've already told him that for me, there is no sex now. He totally agreed and said he didn't want to force me to do anything that made me feel uncomfortable. We truly shared our personal stuff with each other. He had 3 gfs before and had sex with all 3 of them. The 3rd gf was the one he loved the most, but she cheated on him and broke his heart.....whatsoever. So just yesterday, while we were talking about his ex and all that stuff, he suddenly told me "you're kinda slow compared to my ex, my second gf already slept with me on the second date. However, thats fine for me. I still like u the way you are...all that stuff". So what does he mean at all when he tells me that? Will that relationship continue to develop if I still insist with the sex thing.
Saxis Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I'd guess he thinks that "no sex now" means there may be in the future, and he's holding you to it, so to speak. Sounds like he's trying to hint that he thinks he's waited long enough... Doesn't really sound like he's pressuring you that hard though. Is the relationship physical in other ways? Kissing, hand-holding etc...? As long as he keeps his patience, it can still develop. If he's really desiring sex though, he may learn to resent you for holding out.
DarkestDreams Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 He might be getting impatient, which will only make you withdraw even more. Silly boy...As for him making comparisons out loud between you and his ex's, that's a big no-no. Next time he says something stupid like that, show him the door and tell him to go screw the ex.
Author belocchoc129 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Hehe, thank you. Actually, we do have some physical affection (holding hands, and just kissing on the cheek, not lips). Frankly, I have lived in Asian culture for so long, so for me, too much physical affection is still kinda new. He's Asian but been in America since he was 8, so he's kinda Americanized. He did tell me that "sometimes he feels like typical guys but doest act like typical guys". He said he's happy just to be by my side, doing activities and all those stuff, he said hes happy with what we have at the moment (he did tell me he felt bored with the second gf because all about that relationship is sex, nothing at all). I kinda understand that he did imply no sex now, but not FOREVER. Haha, so please tell me guys, is it true that a relationship just can exist with sexual affection?
BCCA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 What exactly does 'there is no sex now' mean? When is 'now' over? Thats what would be running through my head. And he shouldnt have mentioned any ex's, but trust me - he did that to drop a hint: he wants to get more pysical with you. Did you tell him you wanted a platonic relationship or did you just mention no sex? Because, its important for him to know, but if you only want a friend, just remember youre only going to get a friend.
BCCA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Hehe, thank you. Actually, we do have some physical affection (holding hands, and just kissing on the cheek, not lips). Frankly, I have lived in Asian culture for so long, so for me, too much physical affection is still kinda new. He's Asian but been in America since he was 8, so he's kinda Americanized. He did tell me that "sometimes he feels like typical guys but doest act like typical guys". He said he's happy just to be by my side, doing activities and all those stuff, he said hes happy with what we have at the moment (he did tell me he felt bored with the second gf because all about that relationship is sex, nothing at all). I kinda understand that he did imply no sex now, but not FOREVER. Haha, so please tell me guys, is it true that a relationship just can exist with sexual affection? Its really a personal decision. I would never date anyone who said that they werent interested in having sex, because thats really important to me, but others have different views on it.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Sounds like he's getting impatient and kind of irritated.
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