SophieA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Hello all. I guess I just need some encouragement today. My LDR is getting rough. I began classes again this week after a break and he's a med student so we're both super busy. (I also work full time) We still try to skype as much as possible but lately there is just nothing to talk about. It's like: Me: Hi honey, I miss you! Him: Hey sweetie, I miss you too. What have you been up to? Me: Same as usual, worked 8-5 and now I have to study. You? Him: Class from 8-4 and study. I miss you. I can't wait til you visit. Me: I miss you too. Can't wait to visit. I don't have any new updates really. I love you though! Him: Me either. Love you too! I mean, it's boring. I miss him, I love him, there's nothing I can do about this distance. Does anyone else get in this funk? How do we get out of it? It freaking SUCKS.
Bearandsue Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Try watching a movie together. You could download movies from torrent sites and watch them simultaneously. You can do this while skype is on so you can talk to each other during the movie. Play online games against each other. That is a fun way to pass the time and there are countless types of games on the internet. Its not gonna be fun all the time. That is one of the things that suck about a LDR. Talk about the little things that happened in your day. They really make a difference. No matter how small it is.
Els Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Oh, SophieA, I wish I knew, I really do! At the moment the bulk of our time is spent playing online games together. This works wonders if you both enjoy such things -- there isn't the stress of needing to find a topic to talk about ALL the time, and you feel like you're doing SOMETHING together. I do also need quality 'talk time' apart from that, but I believe that I too would be at a loss for new things to do if all we did was talk. Different things work for different people, though. I'd advise lots of experiments to see what works.
Rollercoasterr Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I've never really had this problem so I really don't know how to give you good advice on this. Mathew and I are best friends, we have been since the day we met. It doesn't matter what we talk about as long as we're talking. Doesn't have to be anything of real substance, can just be a series of I love yous, and then me saying "Corgi?"(I really want one so I keep asking that so he'll remember for after we're married, lol). He and I do what Elswyth and her guy does. We play games together online. Currently we're playing Rohan Online, but sometimes we'll go for checkers or something just so we can have a little bit of competition. Don't get me wrong, I do need that "talking time", I just don't feel the need to have every conversation be one of substance. I'm just happy hearing his voice or talking to him online. But usually 5 or 10 minutes into us talking about what we'll name our Corgi or the jokes he and our future children will play on me, we find something to talk about. Just relax and enjoy the time. The topic will come to you.
Island Girl Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 During times of higher stress or emotional upheaval we have gone through times like this. I think sometimes it just happens. I know my friends go through spots like this in their marriages when they come home and just talk about very basic things in a short conversation. We get out of it by just talking about the most minor of occurrences. Like I'll tell him about going to the gas station and being really annoyed trying to put air in my tire -- whatever. Sometimes we just end up talking randomly like this about day to day things. He tells me about what is happening in the news there. I tell him about local news here. That helps with what that other person's world is like and what is happening around them. Sometimes all he'll want is loving words exchanged between the two of us. Nothing is going on there and he just wants words of encouragement or reassurances. Which ends up helping me too of course. We talk about some of the times we have spent together and relive memories. I love to here him tell our stories. It is remarkable how much detail he does remember and usually he remembers things that I wouldn't have thought of. It transports us to those moments and we feel the same feelings, etc. It always touches me that my husband will always say "thank you for the good conversation" when we have a particularly good chat.
FabulousLadee Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 These are awesome ideas!!! As some of you know...I'm new to the LDR world..just shy of two months...and we've already had a few "skuff marks" here and there. It's good to be ahead of the game with ideas when those dry spell times come. By the way...we are doing great. I should be seeing him within the next 2-3 weeks. Anyway....these are great ideas!!
Maggs Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 We have days like that too. Sometimes when I haven't worked and havne't gone anywhere so have no news. Or if we've spoken a lot the day before. It doesn't worry me though, or make me sad. And sometimes it will happen for 2 or 3 days then we'll have loads to chat about. Just like when you're in person and you're sitting around watching tv or reading the paper and there's a lull in the conversation. But it's nice that you still keep in touch everyday just to say I miss you and love you. That's the little things that are so wonderful and keep the relationship going strong.
princess4ever Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 i am going through this too. just want to add, i am glad to have found this forum b/c i used to think i was the only one having frustrations with my ldr and i would think something is wrong with me but nice to have found a place where i won't feel like a weirdo and can relate to other's posts! we talk about everything, plan our future, plan vacations that we would take one day, send each other youtube clips, listen to songs together (like he will find a nice song and send it to me, then my turn). lately, our convos been getting bit boring like op posted. it's been like: me: how was ur day? him: not to bad me: did u eat yet? him: yeh and then just a series of i love you's. it is hard b/c i am sure we've talked about everything by now but i like the game suggesstion so will bring that up with him and see how it goes.
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