Soaked Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 Gottabestrong, it's ok you made a stupid decision but just don't make it again. It's not worth to put yourself in the pain like this. And forget about saying good bye to the MM, or trying to find closure. You are not going to get that from him. Been there done that, the saying good bye thing is just another way for them to sneak in stay in touch. As for the closure, when they can't see how they hurt you, they will never give you the closure you want. Just be strong and move on, especially now you know what a jerk he is. You can find a closure by yourself, you don't need him to be around there. You can saying good by in your heart and don't need to go through that how drama. ;-)
Author Gottabestrong Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 And forget about saying good bye to the MM, or trying to find closure. You are not going to get that from him. Been there done that, the saying good bye thing is just another way for them to sneak in stay in touch. As for the closure, when they can't see how they hurt you, they will never give you the closure you want. Dear Soaked, thanks a lot for your reply. What you are saying makes a lot of sense, he obviously doesn't see how or why he hurt me and if I am hoping for an explanation or apology, I can probably wait forever. It is just really hard for me right now; knowing that I will never see him again and he obviously doesn't care. He is just happy to go back home to his family and friends. I guess that is no different than any other breakup, when they are done with you they are done and no longer care about you or your feelings. Life sucks.
wildsoul Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I don't really know what to say, as we all tried to prevent you this exact scenario. But it doesn't feel right to not say anything at all, even if it has all been said. I hope that you learn from this terrible pain. It does suck that you are experiencing it. But if you learn from it, then it's worthwhile in the end. (((hugs)))
Author Gottabestrong Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 Thanks Wildsoul, I appreciate you posting even though I did exactly what you told me not to. I guess I thought I was stronger than this, or that I could handle it. Well, I guess I thought wrong. I hate that I keep putting myself in these situations, it is like I never learn. Haven't I felt enough pain over him yet, did I really need to add to it? Since I last saw him yesterday I am alternating between crying and being angry at myself. Also I am trying to push every positive thought I have about him away and only remember the bad things. I really can't wait to leave here tomorrow and be as far as possible away from him. At least then I wont be worried about running into him and making a food of myself anymore.
Author Gottabestrong Posted May 26, 2009 Author Posted May 26, 2009 I am sure I don't deserve it, but I just received some really great news and I wanted to share them with you. For the last 2 weeks I have been casually dating this nice really nice guy. I had not heard from him in a week and I thought he might not be interested in hanging out with me anymore. Well, he knows I am leaving tomorrow and he just send me a message asking if I want to drive to the lake with him tonight and go for dinner and a walk there. How great is that? Not only will I get to spend one more evening with a really nice guy who reminds me that there are nice, single guys out there in whom I might be interested. But also I won't spend my last night at home pining away for my ex wishing I was with him. I feel soo much better now. I am sure it won't last forever, but if I can just get through my last day and night here, I will be so grateful.
Soaked Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 It's nice to see you got a happy news. And don't ever say you don't deserve it!!! (it's dangerous to think that, I got myself in this ex OW situation because I thought I am not good enough) You deserve every bit of good things for yourself!!!! Just do go though the healing process and work on inner issues you have before you jump into next relationship.
Author Gottabestrong Posted May 27, 2009 Author Posted May 27, 2009 Hey Soaked, thanks a lot for your kind words. I have just come back from my date and it was really nice. He is a really great guy and total gentleman, and being with him just makes me happy. It is a shame I am moving away tomorrow, but I am very happy that I got to meet him before I do as I am now full of hope that there are good single guys out there and one day I will find someone who likes me and I like him too. Before I went out on my date I ran into my ex and I walked up to him and said goodbye. I said I wish him the best for the future and that his dreams will come true, he said it was good to see me again and wished me a safe trip home. Then we hugged and I turned around and walked away. Normally I would have been feeling very sad and depressed afterwards, but as I was meeting this other guy I was distracted and during the date I noticed that I did not even think about my ex too much if at all. I think I got really lucky with the way things went tonight, now all I have to do is move on with my life and forget about my ex. I am sure I am going to have my bad days when I will feel sad and miserable, but right not I am feeling much better than I thought possible.
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