bobbyjohannah Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I don’t know what to do anymore. Me and my ex have been split up for 6 months now and i’m still not over him no matter what I do. i never wanted to date him, but he kept trying it on with me for two months, so eventually i caved in and gave him a chance. We started as a casual thing because he had split up with his girlfriend a few months before and did not want a relationship, so we would always split up and get back together but during this time he took my virginity. After 3 months, he asked me to be his girlfriend and treated me the most amazing way for the next two months, which then I discovered i had fell in love with him, hard. He was my first love and only love so far, i did not tell him for fear of him not returning the feeling. After this he started to pull away which made me feel alone and unhappy, i could feel like he didnt want me there. Then eventually he broke up with me again saying he wanted to be single as he had not been for 5 years with various girlfriends. When this happened i stayed in my room crying and not eating and i told him how i truly felt about him and for the next two weeks we kept seeing each other and sleeping with each other until he begged for me back again. I took him back and the first few days were wonderful again, but i couldn’t shake the feeling that i was so angry at him and resented him for the way he was treating me and i was considering breaking up with him, but i just wasn’t strong enough at the time to do it. he would ignore me at parties at talk to one of his ex’s who ididnt realise was his ex at these parties . Eventually a group of us including him went out one night to a club, where he was being the most romantic he had been for months, but later on in the evening, i was walking round the club and saw this girl pull him right in front of my face and he continued to pull her. I slapped him and he ran off out of the club and refused to speak to me for days and refused to apologize. Therefore i decided to end the relationship, but had to over facebook as he wouldn’t see me face to face, we met up after a week or two and was friendly but he later told me he never wanted to start anything with me again, a week later he pulled this really ugly girl who was friends with one of her friends and put all these photos up on facebook of the two of them together. He came round a week later and sat arrogantly in my room saying “yeah im a ******* aren’t I?” and telling me i was ridiculous for not being over it within the space of 3 weeks and talking about the new girl, to which he left because we started arguing. Ever since then we have argued and insulted each other over facebook, and i have gone out with someone since which has ended because i wasn’t over my ex. I have suffered panic attacks and depression since the night he cheated and I have been to see a counsellor who didn’t help me at all, she just told me to exercise and let it go. I have dated various people and met new friends and created a whole new life for myself since then but nothing helps, i just feel so empty inside and i constantly run into my ex and his new girlfriend and he either smiles at me or totally ignores me but still stares at me. it kills me seeing it still. How do I get over this?
xxSRMxx Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I kind of know how you feel, especially about going out to parties and clubs and seeing him blatently just all over someone else. Thats exactly what my ''ex'' does to me. Flirts with other girls, but now hes decided we should just be friends he doesn't see why I should make a big deal out of it. I feel what your saying, Makes u feel small. Is there anyway u can not bump into him constantly?? You need time away from him 2 deal with the pain, U dont need it rubbed in your face.
Author bobbyjohannah Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 I try to avoid him as it is, but unfortunately we go to the same Uni and are on the same campus, and his new girlfriend's halls is on this campus too, the only consolidation is that everytime I see him with her he seems to be unhappy, but it is still awkward as I assume she has no idea who I am, as he never introduced me to his ex's when we were going out.
Soul Bear Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 My ex ex cheated on me, and you have to drum it into yourself that they are just scum for doing so. As much as I loved her, I could NEVER go back to a cheater. You should pity them instead. You dont need to avoid him. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT!!!??? Seriously, no one should feel like they miss their cheating ex partner. THEY CHEATED!! I remember being distraught for only 3 weeks after I caught her cheating. I wanted her back so badly. She called me and wanted to meet with me so I did. When I saw her I was just feeling like she was pathetic and I said to her 'It was great being with you, but I would never do it again. We can be friends tho' And I meant it. You learn a lesson from cheaters, and that is the lesson of self worth. Seriously, pity them, hate them LAUGH at them! They cheated! THEY lost YOU. Not the other way round. 5 years later she is on the phone to me saying I miss you and I care about you, trying to be supportive of my current breakup. Guess what? She is in a relationship and has been for 3 years....she wants me to come and stay with her while her BF is away...THATS PATHETIC. Once a cheater, almost always a cheater. Let them go, someone better will come in your life who wont cheat on you. Then you can ask the question 'How do I let go of my partner who didnt cheat on me'...that my friend is a different kettle of fish all together. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN TO BE CHEATED ON!!! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!! Tell yourself that you are putting the experience down to 'life experience'...keep telling yourself that. Hope this helps you SoulBear
notalone Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I could tell you to stop thinking about him.... or to go out and play ...or to find a hobby ...or one of the many other advices that come left right and centre when you are heartbroken. But the thing is nothing of these will help you much. The only way to survive the pain is to go through it. Sure, a night out or a new hobby will distract you, but not for long. You just have to grit your teeth and let the tears roll. Soon(ish) the tears will turn into rage and bitterness and you will be punching pillows. I too, have suffered panic attacks in the immediate aftermath of my break-up. In fact, I still sometimes wake up in nights all sweaty and trembling...but it's not as frequent as three months back. Cry into your pillow, curse your luck, complain to God, hug yourself to sleep, blame him, blame yourself, drive your friends nuts with your woe-is-me stories....do it all. It's the only way to ever get over someone who broke your life. No easy way across I am afraid. Facebook is a bitch. I can vouce for that.
Author bobbyjohannah Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 I have gone through this for 6 months now, the relationship in itself was only 6 months, i feel that by now i'm ridiculous for still caring about it when he's obviously moved on. It just bugs me when I see his friends around as well as i used to be good friends with these people anyway cos they lived in my halls, but because of this breakup, we don't really speak anymore and it's still so awkward .
EmperorR Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Cheaters are scum, just keep telling yourself that, no one deserves to be in a relationship with a cheater.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I was with my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and a couple of months before we broke up for good, she admitted to me to have dated someone else for 6 months during our relationship. ****ing KILLED me. I hate her SO much for it. And as bad as it sounds (though I don't wish her death or anything), I hope someone in the future ****s her up as bad as she ****ed me up. Bitch. And I get so angry at myself for caring about her, too. She's totally not worth it, I hate being in love with her. *Please excuse my language.
Recommended Posts