ruggy Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Many of the regulars know I have been going on and on and on about this one woman that I lost on one little thing, she did not feel that explosion after I kissed her or something. Anyways, that was back in January. Still, cannot get her out of my mind. Tried to date other women, guess what, they do not compare to her. I loose interest. I did try to invite her to an event next week, first she said she'd love to go and appreciated the invite, then I basically never heard from her again. Since I do not like chasing nor looking desperate, I did not chase it. I just txted back call me when you want to go over the details of the event (time, event, what to wear, etc.). She's very busy and is nearly impossible to get on the phone. Even dating, primary communication was txt messaging. Thought it was a bit impersonal and weird, but I went with it. Anyways, Guess what, she never called. Which I did find was odd. She's still looking. Even stays online @ Match for an hour or two nearly every night. Anyways, back to me. Any suggestions? By now, I would had gotten over a woman I dated already. Christ. I just do not understand. It was only two months and like 7 dates. Why can't I get her out of my mind? I could be doing something and then something reminds me of her.
darksky Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 If you compare every woman you meet to your ex then chances are they will never live up to your expectations. The reason for this isnt that your ex is better.. its simply because you are focusing too much on the good points about your ex and then probably inflating those good points. Take your ex of the pedestal and start thinking about some of the things you didnt like about her (why did you split up?) and how other women will probably be better in that department. Also every relationship is different as is every girl you will meet. Some girls maybe better looking others will have better personalities but you'll never find out if you dismiss them based on one feature that you preferred about your ex. There are girls out there more compatible for you than your ex but you wont see that until you stop building your ex up as some amazing person (something which tends to happen when they end the relationship). Keep you mind busy with something or someone else and sooner or later you will realise that you and the ex just weren't right for each other. Good luck
Author ruggy Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 The short an sweet version is that she had to cancel our seven date the day before via e-mail. I thought it was a blow of move, so I replied stating maybe we should cancel the VD date too. She then replied back saying that it would be best. I said fine. Mainly, the reason was she did not feel that explosion of chemistry that she was looking for. After that, we had a one more e-mail and then she just stopped. A few months went by and I contacted her to go to an awards ceremony with me where I was receiving an award. She replied back the next day saying thank you for inviting me and she'd really like to go. We should get on the phone and discuss the details soon and that it sounds like an excellent date. I replied back saying great and asked her to give me a call when she is free to go over the details. Never heard from her. I guess, her negatives would be that she is really centered around her own world not knowing much outside of it. Like she's very self-conscious about herself, though she does not think so, and if you ask her anything outside of her comfort zone, she really does not know. She's a big book reader, nothing wrong with that, I am too. So she does not watch much TV. That could be the reasoning why she is not very much up to date in what's happening in the world. She's stubborn to a T. She does not like confrontation and rather txt or e-mail to try and mediate problems. As an example, in the break-up letter, she had said in the opening. "I'd be kidding myself if I said that I did not have a good time with you. t your a true gentlemen. Possibly one of the few left in New York, and I have every reason to have regrets. Truthfully, at the end of the day, everything that makes sense in the world means nothing if I'm not confident that what I feel in my heart is right. I feel like you and I could be relatives, our values are so much alike. However, that doesn't make up for the passion/chemistry which goes into the kind of relationship that I know each of us is looking for in a partner." All relatively minor things. Don't get me wrong, she's a good person, but may I acted too gentlemanly, if that was possible? She did tell me on the ride home that one guy she went out on a date with made her pay for the tab and then, when they got to her place, he asked "so are you going to invite me up"? She said no. Maybe that was the opening in asking her, so are you going to invite me inside and I missed it. The last date, before we went out, I did question the status of the dating relationship. Cause she was sometimes quite nervous and jittery at the end of each date and at my apt. She said she liked to move things slow. I questioned it in my head, but let it go. During the date, she was actually very easy going and held my arm abit. We kissed a few times, quick pecks, but nothing more. I took this one real slow too cause it seemed like that was how she wanted to proceed. So that's the story, in a nutshell.
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