BuckeyePride Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I don't even know what to do from here, so I turn to all of you for what advice you have to give me. You've heard the story before, boy meets girl - boy and girl fall in love. We dated for two and a half years, the best two and a half years of my life. She was my everything. The most important thing to have ever happened to me. And then? It all ended on a dinner and a quiet car ride. She told me she felt that we'd become "just friends" in the time we'd spent dating, and that "it had been so serious that she needed to know if this was for real or not". I've always wanted her to be happy, and I told her this as she broke my heart. I just wanted her to be happy. Even writing it here, it kills me. I've never been as happy as I was with her. She was the perfect piece to the rest of my life. We're trying to keep a friendship, though it's obvious that the feelings she may have once had for me aren't as strong as they used to be. In short, I feel like she's fell out of love with me. I don't know what to do. I want her so badly to be happy - if you knew the stress she's been dealing with you'd understand - but at the same time knowing that she could be so happy with someone else absolutely breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. I want to be with her. I want her to be with me. I feel so lost. Every day is just a long challenge for me, while she seems to have moved on with little difficulty. Why is this so hard? What can I do? All my friends have suggested to simply put this behind me, but they've never been in as intense a relationship as this. None of their advice helps, and every day I just feel so lost. Any advice? Is there a chance of her being happy with me again? Or is it time to just, give it all up?
boogieboy Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Read around the boards here, you will find similar stories, and they will make you feel better somewhat until you heal. First thing to do, she gave you the lamest of lame excuses so she can try someone else, dont let her contact you. Then you can close that chapter of your life and git ur heal on.
Author BuckeyePride Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 I don't think I could bring myself to take her out of my life like that. She's been such a big part of it. Her excuse wasn't lame, in the back of my head I can understand why she would tell me that. There was talk of marriage floating around, and I suppose she just needed to know if this was it or not. She'd actually been mulling over separating for a few months prior to actually doing the deed, so her time agonizing over it seems to be over. But still, where do I even go from here? She considers me a friend, and I still want to be in her life, if only for the fact that I'm still painfully in love with her. We've been in regular contact since the break up, essentially talking and spending time in the same way we used to - minus the more intimate parts one would expect of a relationship. She's recently suggested we stop hanging out, if only because she thinks it'll be easier for me, but either way I'm still going to be a mess.
boogieboy Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 You will heal faster if you cut her off. Even she says so. Also because she wants to move on to someone else. You cant be freinds with someone youre in love with. Plus once she gets with someone new, it will get ugly. Move on, leave her be. It will hurt just as much with or without her, difference is you will heal faster without. If you wanna torture yourself, keep talking to her.
t0ri Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Unfortunately, not all things last forever, and apparently her feelings (romantic ones) did not last. You can't make her be in love with you or want to be with you. So the best option is to try your best to accept that your relationship with her has run it's course. I'm sorry :/ I know how you feel, and so do many people here. It'll get easier with time, but until you're over her, don't remain friends with her, hang out with her, etc. I know you don't want her out of your life, but keeping in contact will only give you false hope, and prolong you getting over her/letting go. It's hard to cut someone out of your life that has been there so long, and you loved them being there. I'm in the same situation (over 2 years of dating as well). It hurts horribly, but I think you have to let go. Nobody knows if she will eventually come back and be happy with you again. So for now, accept her decision to have broken up with you, but I wouldn't accept being demoted from "boyfriend" to "friend" if I were you.
LIMEstrike Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I too, am also in the same situation. Well similiar. I've been dating my girl for over 2 years, and let's just say I screwed up and let her go. Now I'm heartbroken. You're gonna read and listen to a lot of advice telling you what you should do and how to get over her, but honestly, you're not gonna follow it. Not until you're ready. Don't you wish you could follow your own advice? Cuz you know the answer, it's just HARD to do for yourself. Until you can commit to healing, you'll stay stuck and lost. For a long time. I know it was very hard for me to delete her number, delete her e-mails and her MySpace, hide all the things she's given me. You have to find that motivation to heal. YOU WILL find a girl that will make you happier than your ex did. Hard to believe? Yup because you loved your ex with all your heart, and you can't imagine a greater love. But it's out there. And trust me, it'll come. Once you accept that, you'll be ready to commit to healing and move on. Cutting communication is one of the hardest but NECESSARY steps. Once you start to commit to heal, you CANNOT make any communication with her. It will reopen wounds. If you see her around, remember your committment to healing! Listen to motivational music, get it stuck in your head, and it'll be following you around when you need it. I know it's working for me right now... Oh and I just want to add, hang in there dude. It's really hard I know cuz you feel like you've hit rock bottom, but you have to keep living life knowing it can only get better. You will go up...
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