LIMEstrike Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 So I was dating this girl for a little over 2 years, when I broke up with her. Yes I broke up with her, all because we were fighting a lot, and she was very clingy. I always hung out with her, and I never got to really hang out with my friends. I believe friends are a relationship to, so I pretty much lost all comradery by hanging out with her. I've broken her heart. And I really wish I didn't. So bad. Now, for the first month, I was fine. I hung out with all my friends, built up back my friendships with many that I lost, but then, it happened. I miss her. I realized what I was missing, but I didn't realize until she was gone. Now I want her back. It's gonna be two months since we're broken up next week, so I have given it time. And I've came to the conclusion that all couples fight, some even to the intensity we did. There's that problem. Now as for the friends problem, I know we can work something out as far as balance between her and my friends, we just have to work on it, which I know we can do, because we loved each other so much, I'm so stupid, I should have tried to work something out before I let her go.... She has kind of moved on a little, messing around with this one guy, but I still want her back. Everytime I see her she seems really happy, and I feel like crap. And I don't know what to do. It's my turn in a way, I'm heartbroken, and I can never forgive myself for what I have done to her. I am at a loss for what to do, and what path to go... I want to listen to my head, do I need her? I want to listen to my heart, I want her. Would I eventually move on? Yes. But do I want to? No, because I feel we can still go farther than ever before. I am not in any form of communication with her, but when I found out she was messing with a guy, the last thing I told her was that I hate you. I'm such an idiot. Oh and I am going to basic training on July 20, so I have about 2 months to fix this....
Ayla Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Hello. Man do I wish my ex bf was thinking the same as you.... Couple of questions/clarifications...so you broke up 2 months ago. Have you been NC the whole time? When did you tell her you hated her? Why did you say this to her? How old are both of you? Are you sure that it is not just jealousy that is making you want her back? Ie-another person stepping on your territory? The reason I ask this is cos you need to be sure that she is the one you want to be with. You don't want to stuff her around... What have you been doing the last 2 months? Seeing other girls, drinking a lot etc etc? Lots of questions but will help me help you 1.
Author LIMEstrike Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Hello. Man do I wish my ex bf was thinking the same as you.... Couple of questions/clarifications...so you broke up 2 months ago. Have you been NC the whole time? When did you tell her you hated her? Why did you say this to her? How old are both of you? Are you sure that it is not just jealousy that is making you want her back? Ie-another person stepping on your territory? The reason I ask this is cos you need to be sure that she is the one you want to be with. You don't want to stuff her around... What have you been doing the last 2 months? Seeing other girls, drinking a lot etc etc? Lots of questions but will help me help you 1. Oh no, not a problem, thanks for helping me. MASSIVELY appreciated. I just gotta ask a question, what is NC? I told her I hated her on wednesday of last week, through a text message after she told me this guy kissed her, asked her out and stuff. I was very angry. I'm afraid if I give my age, I'll be judged and it'll be just another "high school" thing. I'm 18, she's 17, so we started going out when I was 16 and she was 14. (a year and about 4 month difference). Now that I think about it, yes, I feel like it is a little jealousy. I can't see her with another guy, and I'm kind of jealous she is moving on faster than I am, and that she's happy and I'm sad. (Then again I shouldn't complain cuz I was happy for the first month and she was sad). Here's a little philosophy I heard, which is mostly true. "A girl can pull a guy off the street and make out with him (MANY CASES, but not all), and he will of course want to, but a guy CAN'T just pull a girl off the street and make out with her, he will be slapped (IN MOST CASES AGAIN)." So I feel she's only getting with this guy to get over me, but I can't just do the same with a girl. Ya know? For the first month, I've just been having fun with my friends, girls and guys, NOT TRYING TO COMMIT, just hanging out. I don't drink or do drugs. The second month is where I started to feel down, and I've just been moping kinda. I've been looking all the things she's given me, especially the hand crafted stuff that she put a lot of thought into, and I really miss how she worshiped me and truly loved me. I miss the sex too. Typical though.
Ayla Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Hey-happy to help. NC is no contact. It is recommended after a break up, so that both parties can heal and determine what they really want. It's not a game or a means of making someone surely miss you. Although that does happen occasionally. For eg-I have had no contact whatsoever with my ex in 4 weeks despite the fact that I love and miss him so much. Question- you said you missthe way she loves you and worships you...are you sure you want to be with her? Do you really love her? If the answer is yes-and you mean it, I think the first thing you need to do is call her and tell her that you do not hate her-thatyou said that out of anger and jealousy. You then also need to apologize for hurting her. If she does not answer then write her a simple letter. Do not say "sorry...but". She is going to still be hurt and angry. To be honest there was no real reason for you to hate her...you brokeup with her and she was just trying to move on. You will need to take it very slowly. Keep the conversation very short and do not bring up the arguments etc. There is no need for that. You will need to prove to her that you want to be with her. I can not say what she will think or do, but at least you have told her how you feel. Does that make sense?
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