wow123 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 My Story: Girlfriend of six months says she wants to take a break because I smothered her and she needed space. After a few days I told her the break doesnt work for me and we should just call it quits. The next day she calls upset and says she doesn't want to break up. We continue talking daily and I finally ask her if she wants to end things and she says yes. She continues to call me for 2 weeks and I ask her why she is calling and she says just to say hi. Finally I ask her to hangout, she agrees, then stands me up. Since then there has been NC. My question is why the hell put me through all of this? (Went on for a month)
stillafool Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 My gut feeling is that she has someone else in the wings and is not sure if she wants to let go of a sure thing (you) for him. Afterall you two have history.
trustydusty Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 This sounds a lot like my situation except i ended the contact much quicker, because i didn't want to be strung along. Sounds like she wants you to be there to fall back on, so many girls do this, i just wish girls would be straight up about there feelings instead of playing games. Good luck with everything, things will get better
boogieboy Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Yeah its the same old situation, She is attached to you. Give her a month of no contact. She is trying out new people when she shouldnt be and is emotionally confused. Ke4ep away from her, let her miss you. No hanging out. After a while, there is a small chance she might want to try again, but remember, you are still the backup plan, if you are ok with that. In the meantime, move on.
BCCA Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 This sounds a lot like my situation except i ended the contact much quicker, because i didn't want to be strung along. Sounds like she wants you to be there to fall back on, so many girls do this, i just wish girls would be straight up about there feelings instead of playing games. Good luck with everything, things will get better This is an interesting topic, but the thing is they do this based on what psychologists call 'reasonable deniability'. Its the same reason girls can go to a guys house at 3 am and pretend that they didnt think they would have sex. Basically, if a person (guys do it too) can reasonably deny that their only intention was to do something (say string you along, cheat, sleep with someone) then they convince themselves that they did it for every other reason but the obvious one. They come to believe that things happened 'coincidentally', because its honestly easier to believe that than it is to accept what really happened and feel guilty. And since you can never prove what their intention was, they never have to admit what they did.
Author wow123 Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Well the last time we spoke when she stood me up she said im sorry but i dont think we should get back together...NC since then...4 days
t0ri Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 My ex just did the same thing to me. We went on a "break" which he suggested, then suddenly he changed his myspace and facebook relationship status' from "in a relationship" to "single." We hadn't been speaking for a few days for the break, so I confronted him about the status and he said he actually wanted to break up. THEN he comes crawling back three weeks later and tells me we'll be back to a "break" because he doesn't want to lose me forever and genuinely wants to work on things. Fast forward three or four weeks later, and he ends things AGAIN! So ya...guys apparently do this too. She doesn't really want you, or there would be no talk of a "break." But she probably eased out from "break" to "breakup" because she was unsure if she wanted to let go. But now she realized that she does want out for good. Don't let her come back. Sorry I know how it feels...
Author wow123 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 She was only unhappy because she felt smothered. Why not give me another chance and if it doesn't work out then go date the other guy?
boogieboy Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 She was only unhappy because she felt smothered. Why not give me another chance and if it doesn't work out then go date the other guy? She might be one of those type of people who stay unhappy in a relationship until they find someone new. You might have smothered her from the beginning and she tolerated it. She probably thought you wouldnt change.
Author wow123 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Actually she talked to me about 4 months in because she was upset that I didn't hang out with her often enough or call before I went out. She thought I wasn't into her so I changed my behavior and the result was this. I'm not needy/clingy...I acted this way to show her I was into her to make her happy.
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