xpaperxcutx Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I emailed artist guy on Sunday to tell him to have a good weekend, and I got a reply today from him with a one liner thanks and a happy face. That's not a good thing right? I've been feeling down since last night, when i found myself awake, cold and feeling depressed. I felt like I had a revelation or something similar because my mind was cloudy from overthinking the situation I'm in. I texted my friend to talk to her but it hasn't helped, and now I'm sick to my stomach. I feel attached. I didn't feel like this on Friday, Saturday, or even Sunday morning. But since last night, I started thinking he might have a gf, or he won't call me anymore, that I'm actually scared. I'm even scared now. I really hate myself for feeling like this. I wasn't expected to be hit with all these emotions. I feel like I have to apologize to everyone for spilling my drama on you because I should know better.
BCCA Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Honestly, you need to help yourself, too. Youre emailing and 'attaching' to a guy that youve already determined only sees you as a booty call. You know he is not for you, and that this is an utter waste of your time, yet you continue to shoot yourself in the foot. Hes giving you one liners because hes made it quite clear that he does not value you as a potential girlfriend. He isnt going to change his mind, and hes never going to want more than some action from you. STOP contacting this guy. Move on, even if its alone for a while. Its like youre so scared of being alone, even for a little while, that you continue to accept being treated like a call girl and you do anything you can to get attention from these creeps, even at your own emotional expense.
Enema Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 You get a one liner reply because he doesn't care enough about you to write more and he doesn't want you to think he does either. Time to wake up and smell the coffee.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 You get a one liner reply because he doesn't care enough about you to write more and he doesn't want you to think he does either. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. I want to wake up, but I'm trying to sleep off the cramps. BCCA, I get what you're saying, I wasn't really expecting much when I emailed him, and wasn't even expecting a response. But when he replied back, I felt like I already predicted the outcomes of everything. Except for the email, I haven't contacted him at all. I don't want to get attached, and I've been doing to eradicate the problem so I don't know why I started feeling like this.
BCCA Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 But when he replied back, I felt like I already predicted the outcomes of everything. Well, sure. To his credit, he's been pretty obvious about his intentions. And I think you were expecting SOME response, just maybe not what you got. I dont ever believe anyone who says they didnt expect a response at all, becuase if that was the case, why send the email in the first place? Its good that it was only an email, but it absolutely has to be the last contact you make with this guy. Im sure I can find you 100's of guys that just want to get laid, hes nothing special, and again, this is a waste of your time. Being alone is better than spending another second with this doofus.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I want to wake up, but I'm trying to sleep off the cramps. BCCA, I get what you're saying, I wasn't really expecting much when I emailed him, and wasn't even expecting a response. But when he replied back, I felt like I already predicted the outcomes of everything. Except for the email, I haven't contacted him at all. I don't want to get attached, and I've been doing to eradicate the problem so I don't know why I started feeling like this. Don't you think it is natural to feel like that once you get involved with someone?
Island Girl Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Don't you think it is natural to feel like that once you get involved with someone? There is a greater impact for women when sex is involved. Our emotions are triggered by sex. When it is early on and a guy has sex he may indeed be separating sex from any emotion at all. And this is why making sex a part of the picture before you know if you are dealing with a true budding romance or a douche who just wants to have sex is a bad idea. These feeling will pass. You will get over it. It just takes a little time. And please do not put yourself in this position anymore. Make sure a guy is worth it before you invest much in him. You deserve waaaaaaaaay better.
Island Girl Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 hes nothing special, and again, this is a waste of your time. Being alone is better than spending another second with this doofus. I sooooooooooooooo agree. I can throw a rock and hit ten of these kinds of guys. He is nothing special at all.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 There is a greater impact for women when sex is involved. Our emotions are triggered by sex. When it is early on and a guy has sex he may indeed be separating sex from any emotion at all. And this is why making sex a part of the picture before you know if you are dealing with a true budding romance or a douche who just wants to have sex is a bad idea. These feeling will pass. You will get over it. It just takes a little time. And please do not put yourself in this position anymore. Make sure a guy is worth it before you invest much in him. You deserve waaaaaaaaay better. You put that much better than I could. I rarely meet women that can just use a guy like a pogo stick. The ones that can... are usually crazy in a scary way.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Hey guys, thanks for the much needed support. I just got back from a jog and my mind is much clearer. I've reread most of your advices and I realize that I have to figure out what it is I want from him. A FWB, or a relationship. I haven't been completely honest in that when I first started " dating" him I wasn't really expecting much. I was seeing other people as well. That's why I gave him a blowjob. It wasn't attachment sex or anything, and I got away without feeling horrible about it. But recently I noticed that my other dates have gone down the drain like piss water, and my idleness ( from being on vacation and no classes) have made me dependent on his attention. I need to separate myself from him and start doing my own things. I just hate having nothing to do. Jogging and exercise is fun but they can get repetitive and boring. That's why I'm constantly looking for a high. Yeah, I know I have problems. I just have to find ways to deal with them positively. I'm pretty much feeling better now, no more feeling depressed or down. I just have to figure out how to preoccupy my time as opposed to always running back to artist guy.
BCCA Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 PC, no offense, but please post here as often as you need and consider seeing a therapist. I've gone to see someone before, and you should probably think about it. You litterally went from being stressed out over the lackluster response of a douche that wants you as a booty call to "pretty much feeling better now, no more feeling depressed or down" in like 3 hours. Even at that, you went on to say you didnt know if you wanted a FWB with this guy or a relationship, when CLEARLY your choice in that matter is no longer relevant. Unless you can give this guy the boot for good, thats all youre ever going to be: a booty call. You can see it in everything he does, and all the drama he causes in you. This is a guy you went on 2 dates with, turned into his booty call, and now youre over analyzing everything the guy does. Then, when you realize how silly it must sound, you completely back track what you said, and almost try and make it seem like the current status is what you both wanted. We saw all your posts, including this one, you dont like being the guys booty call, its killing you, but youre taking whatever limited attention comes with it and sacrificing your self esteem in the process. You might want to consider just not dating until you can see someone for a little bit. I just dont think youre in the right frame of mind for a healthy relationship at the moment. Take care of yourself.
kizik Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 attention is what it all comes down to, and perhaps an undiagnosed personality disorder.
Els Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Do you have any other hobbies besides jogging and exercise?
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