andy.macca Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Hi I have been talking to a girl over email for a while now. I can't help but have strong feelings for her sometimes and it really annoys me. She has a boyfriend and literally lives on the opposite corner of the world to me. This has happened with other people too but not this strongly. I'm not sure whether it is that I have an obsessive personality or everyone goes through this. tbh honest her emails are a bit boring so I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe cos she seems to enjoy mine. Anyway, is anyone else the same? Any advice for keeping strong and unwarranted emotions in check? Or stop them all together?
Phateless Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Get out and meet people in real life. I've been through exactly what you are, and it helps to get out and be social. Do something completely unlike you. Go take swing dancing and salsa dancing lessons. You will meet A LOT of girls.
Author andy.macca Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 I did do salsa lessons last year. Didn't really meet anyone and I think a lot of guys were on to that secret cos there were honestly more guys than girls. It's just that I am very shy when around people and over email I can communicate pretty well cos they aren't there and I can edit a lot
Phateless Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I did do salsa lessons last year. Didn't really meet anyone and I think a lot of guys were on to that secret cos there were honestly more guys than girls. It's just that I am very shy when around people and over email I can communicate pretty well cos they aren't there and I can edit a lot I understand completely, I used to be exactly where you are. At some point you just have to get brave and fight through it to the other side. I know it feels impossible but it's not. Read this thread, it will probably resonate with you. I gave a lot of advice in there... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t180867/
whichwayisup Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 The thing is, you are hiding! Sure you feel more comfortable, maybe can be more yourself, more open..But, in the long run it's doing damage to you. Staying in your comfort zone isn't going to help you grow, help you find someone special. You're basing feelings on fantasy and words - You may 'know' her, but you really don't "know" her. Online there's too much 'fill in the blanks' and her personality may come across a certain way, but in real life, she may be very different than your perception of her.. Anyway, the best thing is to gain self confidence, work on not being as shy. Ask friends and family, those you trust to help you. Or even seek some counselling to help you with this.
Sibyl Vane Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Hi I have been talking to a girl over email for a while now. I can't help but have strong feelings for her sometimes and it really annoys me. She has a boyfriend and literally lives on the opposite corner of the world to me. This has happened with other people too but not this strongly. I'm not sure whether it is that I have an obsessive personality or everyone goes through this. tbh honest her emails are a bit boring so I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe cos she seems to enjoy mine. Anyway, is anyone else the same? Any advice for keeping strong and unwarranted emotions in check? Or stop them all together? Sorry, that's really cute. Sex with random strangers would probably help. She has a boyfriend anyway. Stop emailing her.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Sorry, that's really cute. Sex with random strangers would probably help. She has a boyfriend anyway. Stop emailing her. ....................................................
Sibyl Vane Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 .................................................... haha bite me.
Author andy.macca Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 hey so to change the topic a little bit, I'm 19 and a uni student. I have been shy all my life and I'm finding it hard to break out of my shell when my parents are around. I don't know why at all. Should I leave home? I know my mate lives closer to town and goes out a bit more. Sounds like fun but also pretty expensive when I could be living at home for free. This might help me get out and meet real people :-)
Phateless Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 hey so to change the topic a little bit, I'm 19 and a uni student. I have been shy all my life and I'm finding it hard to break out of my shell when my parents are around. I don't know why at all. Should I leave home? I know my mate lives closer to town and goes out a bit more. Sounds like fun but also pretty expensive when I could be living at home for free. This might help me get out and meet real people :-) Moving out of your parents' house will be HUGE for you. DO IT!!
Recommended Posts