vixen Posted October 24, 2003 Posted October 24, 2003 ahh why me. So i make jon a homemade dinner i made him chicken sauce and rigatoni. This is my first home made sauce. Well i bring it to him at his work, he doesn't know i'm comeing it's a surprise. Well the surprise was on me, he wasn't there. He wasn't working. 6 of his co-workers were at that front desk and he wasn't there and here i am bag of dinner in hand feeling like i've egg on my face. They graciusly call him and i ask him why he isn't at work, he says he was but they sent him home. I wish i had said that to someone but i didn't. Anywho so i go to his house to bring him the dinner he comes out ot meat me befor i get to the door and redirects me to his car. I'm in tears from humiliation and feel hurt that he didn't tell me. he said he just got home like a few minutes befor i had called and he was going to call me later but he wanted to get some homework done first. So we drove around and talked it wasn't all pleasant, i told himi have to go to the bathroom, he kept going i said why don't we stop at your house it's just over there, he says it's to far now, and brings me to a mc donalds. I've got my friggin piriod it was freezing in that bathroom and i let him have it after i had gotten out of there. i said how rude to not bring me to a nice warm house to pee. My roomate says it sounds F'd up, that he seems almost ashamed of me or something. I said to jon how come i havn't seen your parents in 2 months and you wouldn't kiss me infron of your mom the other day? He said your the one who says you feel uncomfortable around them, you never wan't to go over the house. He had a point. We parked and talked somemore, i had calmed down and we were makeing things light again. but i was upset here we havn't seen each other in 3 weeks and he doesn't touch me, no kisses or anything. Well he held my hand for a bit, and patted my knee here and there. *sigh* I tried to start some smoochies, he said, no quality over quantity, it's uncomfortable to make out in the car. I said, um hello we made out in you car twice in the begging, he said that was becoase back then we could not go to my house. He said when we go to your house we will then, he said it will be much better then after the wait. I said , jon, it's been 3 weeks, isn't that waiting enough? I said it will be another 3 weeks befor we see each other again with our luck. he said nuh uh, next thursday, he has off, we'll go to my house then. So he walked me to my car, gave me lots of smooches then, well 5 of em, and he took his homemade dinner in to eat, and do his homework. (sorry about spelling pressed for time.) Vixen
LadyX Posted October 24, 2003 Posted October 24, 2003 It's not just the dinner that's ruined....that relationship sounds like it's over. You already know he lies.
HokeyReligions Posted October 24, 2003 Posted October 24, 2003 I think you know the relationship is over. He sounds like he's just stringing you along. Why not make him some chocolate x-lax brownies next time and then tell him goodbye. You can do better and be much happier
moimeme Posted October 24, 2003 Posted October 24, 2003 Hoke and LadyX, I disagree with you completely. They are students in school so the relationship cannot run the same way it would if they were independent, working adults. Vixen, you are too quick to get mad at him. Stuff like this: He said your the one who says you feel uncomfortable around them, you never wan't to go over the house. He had a point drives people NUTS. He tries to consider your wishes because you don't want to go to the house and then you complain about not going to the house!!!!! If it's his parents' home, maybe something's going on there he is embarrassed about or maybe he doesn't like to conduct his relationship stuff in his home with his folks around. I sure wouldn't. You said you understood how busy he is and you said you could handle it but it sounds as though you're panicking anyway. Plus, your period makes you crazy, as you must know. It was nice of you to try to take him a meal, but it would have been wise to check if he was there first. He might have had a meeting or an appointment or something and, as you see, he gets sent home sometimes. If you want to keep this guy, you need to get a grip. I have a couple of friends in a relationship. She flips out at everything this guy does, gets suspicious, and starts attacking him. I've seen some of these interactions and her reaction is completely inappropriate. All you start to do is show him that you are unreasonable and don't trust him. Eventually, this will drive him away. Girl, you have got to calm yourself down and quit flipping out on him or you WILL lose him for sure. Maybe you should see a counsellor or something to help you with your worries and insecurities.
Author vixen Posted October 25, 2003 Author Posted October 25, 2003 your so right, your so absolutly right. T_T, i was a total bitch to him and it wasn't his fault and i was thinking he was treating me badly and here he was trying to be considorate. Oh moi i don't want to push him away, what can i do, how can i not be so quick to judge him poorly, he's so friggin nice to me, i'm such a looser to treat him so badly. T_T i talked to my mom about it, she's like "do you tell him where you are all the time?" and i'm like of coarse not! and she's like "well, then why should he tell you where he is all the time." What a bitch i am. what an idoit. I emailed him and appoligized, asked him if he could forgive me for being so stupid. He didn't call last night, oh goddess i'm ruining my relationship. T_T, and i love him so much, but how can he see this when all i do is bitch, and i never was a bitch, realy i never was, i have to stop this, i have to see him in the right light, the clear light not the green one. Moi, how do i stop being so stupid???? I don't want to push him away. Stupid stupid. Sigh, beeting myself up won't help, but i must get it through my thick head. arrh what an idoit i am. I'm so high and mighty, think i'm all that, im a bitch, i never wanted to be one and now i am. -_-UU just great. And as for the nay sayers on this board, your all going to die an early death. why? becouse you'll dump your love at the first sign of trouble. You don't give good advice, just go, dump him dump him. OmG he sneezed on you DUMP HIM. i'm tierd of it. I am so going to ignore every who says dump him. Because misory loves company, i've no clue where these neh sayers are comeing from, and they don't give me any help. Vixen
LadyX Posted October 25, 2003 Posted October 25, 2003 I wasn't aware you two were so young. But all the same...he was making excuses not to kiss you, hasn't called you, and you seem so paranoid. And you're very right about me, and dumping a guy when I see those kind of signs....I've had alot of life experience, and I know what they mean.
Layla Posted October 25, 2003 Posted October 25, 2003 Hi Lady X and hi Vixen Unfortunately, I must agree with you Lady X. I guess I have had that tipe of boyfriend as well, who would be too busy, to tired to see you and all the rest. I dumped him right away and it was the right thing to do. Now, I'm with someone who has a 12 hour/day job, is currently building a house, is training for a marathon but still wants to spend every single free minute with me and gets really sad when I sometimes can't. He used to say that it physically hurt him when he couldn't be with me and that three days was the absolute limit of not seeing me. This is why he asked me to move in with him after we went out for a while. What I'm trying to say is: as busy as you may be. If you are really in love with someone you just CANNOT help but make some time; even if it is just a quick lunch or spending the night together or whatever. The happiness it brings to spend time with that person just seems so important!! Vixen, you shouldn't be deprived of someone like that! You are so young still and should have someone who is crazy about you, sends you love notes and tries the outmost to hang out with you! Life isn't getting easier when you grow older, therefore those "young" lovestories should be fun and passionate ones; not filled with sorrows and worries. Maybe I'm wrong but this is my experience.
moimeme Posted October 25, 2003 Posted October 25, 2003 Vixen - If you possibly can, as soon as you start feeling stressed about something he's doing, try to calm yourself. Can you wear a bracelet or something to remind you to not let your mouth get going before your brain can stop it? Even an elastic band you can snap? You need to be a reasonable person if you want to have a great relationship. If you can, when something happens, rather than letting your mind spiral into how bad he is, try to ask yourself if you are being fair. Maybe even talk to your mom about it so she can help you get perspective.
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