Cora Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 So this new guy I have been exchanging emails with seems really nice. I didn't really think he was my type at first and I wasn't really that attracted to him from what I saw of his pictures. He has grown on me a bit and now I find him quite interesting so I figured I would give him a shot. He has mentioned very briefly before about maybe meeting up and going out for a coffee sometime. I noticed I had received a new email from him today and got a little excited until I read it. He carried on with the normal chit chat and about teaching me the guitar since I had mentioned I always wanted to learn. Then he basically started giving me his schedule and his days when he was free etc.. He also gave me his number and told me to give him a call or a text sometime so we could set up a meeting. But....something in his email really caught my eye...something he had never mentioned before. He made the statement "yeah, i'm just relaxing today, doing this and that etc.. and hanging out with my gf." Okay gf?? As in girlfriend? Am I totally clueless here and that abbreviation has another meaning or is it common for guys to be on dating sites and have a girlfriend? I also noticed his status reads available. I never payed much attention to it before....yeah I guess I really need to start paying attention to these things. I notice most guys status on that site reads single. So I'm guessing since this guy mentioned a gf that he is not single but available? I'm so confused or naive or both maybe. I guess what I'm asking is does this mean what I think it means? He has a girlfriend and still looking for other girls to date? I'm still so new to all this....sigh. Either way I'm starting to think maybe this guy isn't for me as well. I don't know if I should even call him now or even plan on meeting him. I'm a bit confused about his intentions or maybe he is confused about mine. Maybe I should just come right out and ask him about it. It just sounds so awkward any way I put it.
Lindarose84 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I would just come out and ask, "Um did I read that right? Did you say you are hanging out with your GIRLFRIEND today?" That way there are no ambiguities. Believe it or not, I actually used the abbreviation "bf" while talking to this new guy I was dating. I told him I went out with my bf last night and in my head (because I was typing so fast) I read that as "best friend" and automatically assumed he would know what I meant. Then he did a double take and asked "huh?" and I was like, oops! I had to clarify what I meant. I don't know too many other uses though for "gf"....maybe "guy friend" or "good friend"?? LOL. It's best to just ask and put it out there.
yeex Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 GF usually means girlfriend, but he would be able to give you a better answer than us as to what he meant. That is kind of weird. I would just ask him.
carhill Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I'm a guy who has had many female friends and a few girlfriends, prior to being married. My female friends have always been referred to, either in conversation or when introducing them, as "my female friend, xxx". Never have/had I ever referred to them as GF, gf, girlfriend or anything that remotely paired us as a couple. Also, some men (not myself) consider themselves "single" unless they're "married". They may have a girlfriend (as in a sexual partner) but still consider themselves single. So, even if not "lying", that philosophy would correctly impel them to put their relationship status as "single" on a social networking site. My female friend had this issue with her boyfriend and she took it upon herself to change his status to "in a relationship". Don't know if it mattered, but there ya go
Author Cora Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Thank you all for the much helpful advice! I think I'm just going to email him that I'm no longer interested and am sorry for wasting his time. I think I started dating before I was ready. I have self esteem and serious attachment issues. I need to work on myself and those issues before I even consider dating or it will just continue to be a disaster. I thought I could do it but I'm just not ready. I will remember all of this advice for future reference but for now I'm just going to lay low, not date and enjoy being single for awhile. Dating is a lot of work and something I'm obviously not prepared for yet. Before I can allow anyone else into my life I need to work on getting myself up to par. Thanks again guys! Much appreciated!
Author Cora Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 Well I got my answer. The other night I emailed the guy back. I simply copy/pasted the phrase "I'm just hanging out with the gf" and asked....so your girlfriend is okay with us being friends and hanging out? He usually takes a few days to respond to my emails because I'm not quick to get back to him either. Well this time he got back to me right away...within two hours actually. This is what he said.....Yeah, I have lots of female friends. So I left it at that and didn't say anymore. The very next day he sent me another email saying he was gonna be out somewhere at a certain time tonight...gave me directions and everything and if I wanted to meet him there I could. Well I didn't get the email until today so it was a bit late. Anyway, I think maybe it would be good to make an extra male friend....since I don't have many. I wasn't really all that attracted to him anyway. So maybe this is for the best. I'll try to hang out with him and just have fun. So yeah I guess it pays to ask. I got my answer and was right lol.
tinklebell Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Well I got my answer. The other night I emailed the guy back. I simply copy/pasted the phrase "I'm just hanging out with the gf" and asked....so your girlfriend is okay with us being friends and hanging out? He usually takes a few days to respond to my emails because I'm not quick to get back to him either. Well this time he got back to me right away...within two hours actually. This is what he said.....Yeah, I have lots of female friends. So I left it at that and didn't say anymore. The very next day he sent me another email saying he was gonna be out somewhere at a certain time tonight...gave me directions and everything and if I wanted to meet him there I could. Well I didn't get the email until today so it was a bit late. Anyway, I think maybe it would be good to make an extra male friend....since I don't have many. I wasn't really all that attracted to him anyway. So maybe this is for the best. I'll try to hang out with him and just have fun. So yeah I guess it pays to ask. I got my answer and was right lol. Good attitude if you really just treat him as a friend! He may have other male friends you might get together with! Good to be open to a wider social circle.
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