wtfshock Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I am a bit upset. We have been arguing over petty crap really. We were or are going to dissolve the marriage but the arguing is gonna cause us to to divorce instead. We had everything worked out and now she is wanting more out of me when she pretty much has everything of ours anyway. During the last 6 months we have tried to make up, she has filed for divorce and filed for everything, we made up again but then finally i see her for who she really is and dont want her anymore. After all she did cheat on me twice in the last 9 years and put our sons life in danger the first time she cheated not to mention the anguish i suffered for years after that as a result. I did manage to get her to cancel the divorce in favor of a dissolution by kissing her ass. She has an attorney, the best in town. She knows i cant afford one and that legal aid will not give me one. She knows if she files against me again, all i can do is defend myself without help. She keeps holding this over my head to get her way and there's nothing i can do about it but lay down and take it. IM SICK OF IT!!! She cheats on me and treats me like ****. I know none of this is my fault but why the hell is she attacking me knowing i can do nothing about it? We have already established serious characters flaws, lack or morality and no values to speak of on her part here on loveshack. I know if i had the money for an attorney i could prolly take her for whatever i wanted but why doesn't she see this? She doesn't see that she was the major bread winner in our marriage and i was working one day a week at the post office trying to get full time which is a long drawn out process unless you luck into a full time route. I have been told time and again that this entitles me alamoney (or however ya spell it). I have been told that since she has endangered my sons life and hers once before by accepting place tickets from a strange elderly man halfway across country, that i stand a good chance at custody of our child. I have allowed friends to read our emails since all this began and have been told she might be semi retarded lol. (pardon the use of that word) Theres alot more to this but im sure this is running long. What can i do to stop her from manipulating me further by holding this above me and using it against me to get what she wants? I have been hurt enough already and im so sick of it. I just want to be done with her and quickly.
Cuppie_Cake Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 how long ago and how exactly did she endanger your child? If you can only 1 day a week, why havent you looked for a job that you could work a full 40 hr work week? And she is attacking you because she can.
SRV Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 You might want to try somehow to get some money for an hour or two consultation, depending on the state you live in, most will charge $200-400, with a lawyer so you know your rights and what you are and will be up against. You can then make a more informed decision based on the lawyer's recommendation. Good luck!
Cuppie_Cake Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 after reading the other post, what she did 9 years ago by jumping on a plane is going to have no real bearing on a custody issue NOW. Had you divorced her then it would have had more weight than it does now.
Author wtfshock Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 how long ago and how exactly did she endanger your child? If you can only 1 day a week, why haven't you looked for a job that you could work a full 40 hr work week? And she is attacking you because she can. it not an easy task to get on with the postal service. since i didnt goto school this is the best career i could hope for. i just have to wait it out...until a full time route opens up. if i quit the post office i would instantly lose the respect of my parents for starters....that much they have said to me. since im on call through the week with them that rules out getting a day job paying decent. ( tried that and ended up working during my training and they let me go) i do have an evening job paying minimum wage but its only enough to support myself and not nearly enough to save for a retainer. there are no evening jobs within an hour and a half that pays more than min wage so im stuck with what i have. this is what i have to work with. even if i quit the PO in favor of a full time job, theres still no work paying more than 9 or 10 an hour here. very small town with big depression going on. this is my reality. i have been on the phone all day begging lawyers for help on a payment basis but none of them really care. i read that a well prepared case will win 99% of the time. how does one with no legal experience battle that? i have tried them all. i have tried the bar association. i have begged family for the cash. my only option is to sell my truck for the money but that ruins my meal ticket. i am at my wits end and i dont know what to do.
Author wtfshock Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 after reading the other post, what she did 9 years ago by jumping on a plane is going to have no real bearing on a custody issue NOW. Had you divorced her then it would have had more weight than it does now. thats too bad cause she is still like that and i know i caught her before she could do it again this time. she feels she is entitled to our son exclusively just because she gave birth to him. this much she has told me. but im the one who raised him and taught him values and morals while she squandered our cash reserves. sad day on earth when a monster like her can get away with disembowelment and continue to rub salt in it. im asking if anyone knows of a way to secure some kind of legal help to battle her? i still feel like if i had legal help and battled her, she would be exposed for the monster she is and i would be vindicated.
Cuppie_Cake Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 thats too bad cause she is still like that and i know i caught her before she could do it again this time. she feels she is entitled to our son exclusively just because she gave birth to him. this much she has told me. but im the one who raised him and taught him values and morals while she squandered our cash reserves. sad day on earth when a monster like her can get away with disembowelment and continue to rub salt in it. im asking if anyone knows of a way to secure some kind of legal help to battle her? i still feel like if i had legal help and battled her, she would be exposed for the monster she is and i would be vindicated. That would be a better route to take when going for custody. That you have been his primary caregiver. Also, having a uterus will not guarantee her custody, Do you have your ducks in a row to prove you are the primary care giver?? How many of his doc appts have you ALONE taken him to? How many school Conferences have you attended ALONE? If she is the bread winner, why not try to see if a lawyer will listen to your case, and represent you on the contingency that when you win you wife pays your attorney.
Author wtfshock Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 That would be a better route to take when going for custody. That you have been his primary caregiver. Also, having a uterus will not guarantee her custody, Do you have your ducks in a row to prove you are the primary care giver?? How many of his doc appts have you ALONE taken him to? How many school Conferences have you attended ALONE? If she is the bread winner, why not try to see if a lawyer will listen to your case, and represent you on the contingency that when you win you wife pays your attorney. several actually. she recently quit her job because her regional manager came down on her for keeping a dirty store. but i can try to call again tomorrow and see if that might be a route to take. she is currently getting her money from rich family members. i have been talking to some friends and they have given me more options to try to get legal help.
Cuppie_Cake Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Start documenting stuff that concerns your son that she is not taking an active role in. Have you tried Legal Aid?
Author wtfshock Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Start documenting stuff that concerns your son that she is not taking an active role in. Have you tried Legal Aid? i have been since day one. legal aid tells me that i am over the poverty limit just barely and that they dont offer help for defending a divorce.
SRV Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I hope things turn out better for you. Have you ever considered returning to school? Maybe a comm college or online program to get some more education? You come off as an intelligent person, you might have to sacrifice for maybe two years as you get the education, thus skills which will give you more options in the job market. It will also one day be an inspiration to your kids. You can do it, I have seen people do it and their lives have turned out so much better. It's not a guarantee that a full time route opens, hope it does though. You must look at a serious plan B in regards to your earning potential, not just for you but your kids and their furture.
Owl Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Is Ohio a "fault state"? Or a "no fault" one? Does her infidelity have any possible impact on the outcome of the divorce, payment of support, etc...? If so, then you do need a good lawyer for that. If not...then it doesn't matter...everything pretty much gets divided according to standard tables, and a good lawyer or not is irrelevent. It's a different story when it comes to child support, custody, etc... What are the specific things that you would "fight" her on? Something to consider...if she makes more money than you do...then you should get support from her. If you can prove the abandonment and endangering issues you've mentioned here and other posts...you've got a good shot at getting full custody and suing her for support.
Author wtfshock Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 [COLOR=#333366]i googled this up owl. thanks for the positive remark srv i want to go to school as soon as i get out of this marriage one way or the other. i was thinking a network admin or programming or something.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]i honestly dont know if her being at fault will have any impact but i can easily prove it with emails and yahoo chat logs and 1 voice recording which may not fly in court.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]i would fight her on custody and support and alimony.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]if she would just dissolve it...i would go that route. cant beat it into her head that if she files again and i think she has (going for the throat), its gonna kill our sons xmas, bdays and whatever he wants to do for school while we pay back our attorneys. if i can somehow manage to come up with an atty, i will fight her tooth and nail as i would have no choice.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]i guess im the bad guy in all of this. i refuse to take her back without conditions. i am angry over her lies and manipulation....oh and i hollered at her and hurt her feelings.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]she doesn't have a job anymore. she quit it because her manager yelled at her and made her cry. she quit 1 month ago. we have been separated for almost 7 months. this has not stopped her though. her family hands her the money to pull these cunning stunts.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]it boils down to her having the money and a lawyer and me not having access to those kind of funds. she holds this over my head and i heard today she filed. my family is actually better off but are currently in trouble financially due to the railroad cutting jobs and a brand new house which needs payed for. she has a cousin truck driver who is supporting her. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366][/COLOR] [COLOR=#333366]Grounds for Divorce.[/COLOR] A divorce under Ohio laws can be granted based on incompatibility or living separate and apart without cohabitation, uninterrupted for at least one year. Ohio laws also recognize the following fault-based grounds: (A) Either party had a husband or wife living at the time of the marriage from which the divorce is sought; (B) Willful absence of the adverse party for one year; © Adultery; (D) Extreme cruelty; (E) Fraudulent contract; (F) Any gross neglect of duty; (G) Habitual drunkenness; (H) Imprisonment of the adverse party in a state or federal correctional institution at the time of filing the complaint; (I) Procurement of a divorce outside this state, by a husband or wife, by virtue of which the party who procured it is released from the obligations of the marriage, while those obligations remain binding upon the other party; -From 3105.01 of the Ohio Statutes. [COLOR=#333366]Residency Laws. [/COLOR] To file a divorce in Ohio, the plaintiff must have been a resident of the state for at least 6 months immediately before filing the divorce complaint. -From 3105.03 of the Ohio Statutes.
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