moonlander Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Met this girl and went on a good date with her early february. She left the following day for vacation/work and we didn't see each other for three weeks (but we texted/called each other a lot during this period). Saw her again early march and we clicked really well. Basically spent the everyday together until easter, where we both went home to our respective families for ten days. The pattern continued after easter. We spent every night together basically. During this period (15. april to 01. may). I had an exam a week, so didn't really spend much "quality" time together, it was basically her working all day/me studying all day and then spending the night together. Two weeks ago she told me that she hadn't fallen in love with me yet and didn't know what to do. She did tell me that she thought everything about our relationship was perfect, expect the fact the she's not in love. She also told me that she fell very quickly in love in her two former long-term relationships, and didn't know what to do now. We decided that we should take a step back and see how things evolve. Now, I am in love with this girl. And it's so so hard going from spending so much time together to just be casually dating. We haven't had sex since we decided to take a step back either. We have been on a couple of dates though (but on all occasions parties with friends etc, haven't had that much time alone), and there's definitely still chemisty there. My theory is that since we spent so much time together in the beginning, I didn't really give her time to miss me and develop her feelings (we want what we miss and/or can't have) and my friends advised my that I need to pull away from her and let her initiate most of our contact. Is this the best approach? How far should I pull away? Edit: We are both 24. I haven't been in any serious long-term relationships. Any advice you can give me is much welcomed : )
BCCA Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I dont mean to be harsh, but my take on this is that shes just not that into you, but she doesnt know why, and doesnt want to be alone. Here is my reason for thinking that: Two weeks ago she told me that she hadn't fallen in love with me yet and didn't know what to do. She did tell me that she thought everything about our relationship was perfect, expect the fact the she's not in love. She also told me that she fell very quickly in love in her two former long-term relationships, and didn't know what to do now. We decided that we should take a step back and see how things evolve. To me, this is a disclaimer. Shes saying she thinks youre ok, but isnt really totally interested, and therefore - she wants to 'take a step back' to meet other people while keeping you on the hook just in case. Here is my thoughts on relationships: if you need to take a break, or step back or whatever, its not going to work. If you love someone and want them in your life, the last thing you want is to be away.
Author moonlander Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 Well, she's definitely not dating other guys. And she's been initiating most of our texting and phonecalls. I don't know, it might just be wishful thinking on my part. But if anyone has a similar story (successfull or unsuccessfull) or some more input, I'd love to hear it.
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