TheSwordfish Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I'm a singer in a band and most people I know think my singing skills are great and that our music is good (well at least well played, the rest depends on taste ). (I don't think I'm the best singer in the world but I know I sing in key and it sounds good enough). This friend of mine sometimes,just out of the blue, says how much our music sucks. He is always negative about anything we do with the band. And it's not in a fun joking way. A few examples: -We recorded a song, we had been working on for quite sometime. As a band we were really happy with the recorded vocal. We nailed it in such a way that it worked perfectly. We let various people listen and everyone was enthousiastic. Then I made the mistake to let this friend hear it, and he tells me the music is okay'ish but the singing sucks. -A radio DJ on national radio picked up one of our songs and he played it a lot. Then this friends tells me the DJ does'nt have any taste and that he would play any crappy song. -When we were younger he always made similar remarks about material goods I had. Anything I bought was crap (and then later on he bought the same things). I thought it would be something that would stop with aging but it got worse. When I had piano lessons as a teen and I learned songs from my teacher, and played them, others would do things like starting to sing along, he would always say something like,it's different on the recording. I'm trying to see it as a form of flattery but it feels bad that one of my best friends is envious and acts like a schoolgirl about it . it's annoying when you cannot share your enthousiasm with someone because you know you get this response. Anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?
Datura Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Maybe he has a negative outlook on a lot of things. Friends are supposed to be supportive. You may want to re-evaluate this "friendship." Or at least keep him at a distance.
Antai Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Since he's one of your best friends I think you should try to talk to him about it. I mean, it's been going on for quite some time now so it's obviously not going to go away by itself. And it really sounds like an annoying trait so I think you'd be doing him a favour pointing that out, in a nice way of course. I don't think you should avoid this issue, or make excuses for it, anymore. Be honest with him and tell him it's bothering you.
Author TheSwordfish Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 I'm not completely sure. I used to laugh his behaviour off. If I will confront him with it he will probably think of me as arrogant. Annoying part of it is, I try to avoid talking about things we do with the band with him too much. And then it's fun but lately sometimes he suddenly makes strange remarks. A friend he used to have is a guitarist. He was always negative about his playing. I have seen this guy playing and actually did some things with him, and he is an amazing player. He made some great instrumentals, and when I sent the one I liked the most to this friend of mine he was negative again. It's like this, he puts it on, after a few seconds he turns it off and says he doesn't think much of it. I think, if he makes one of those remarks again, be it about me, or someone else, I'll just ask him. Why are you always so negative about these things? Maybe he'll tell me what his problem is.
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