cousin's ex bf messes around with email accounts and tries to ruin my relationship

[hisprincess4eva]

Hello everyone..

i am not sure if this post goes here but i really need help!

 

My bf and i have been together for 2 years and we have been in a LDR for one year. Currently he is (four hours) away from me by flight doing his clinicals for med school.

 

I have a cousin whom i do not get along with so well, but i still care for her because she is my blood. Last night her ex bf sneeked into her apt and wanted to work things out and talk. But she told her ex straight up that she cudn't handle it anymore so her bf started to hit her and it got worse. She called the cops on him and did not inform the rest of the family thinking it was minor. But when he stole her car and credit card she called us up and began to worry. No one in my family ever liked him, but for the sake of cousin we accepted him. He couldn't bear the fact my cousin broke up with him and that is why he decided to take revenge. He hacked into my, my bro and my cousins email account, myspaces and other social networking sites and began to mess around with it. He msg my bro's gf and told her many bad things, i was scared that he might do that same to my bf. so i emailed my bf telling him about the whole situation. I am not so sure if he did mess around with my bf. But after so many hrs, the cops found him and put him in custody. He told the cops, how he did all this because he wanted to ruin our relationships that we had with our bf/gfs. He wanted to mess around with us and play with our heads. Thinking we were reason why my cousin broke up with him. I emailed my bf mins ago telling him all this, and now i am very scared and worried hoping that my bf will not get mad at me for all this. my cousin's bf wanted to ruin my relationship with my baby... and i told my bf how i do not want anyone to ruin what we have. I love him and i love him so much. i jus hope and pray that my baby is not mad about this whole mess, instead he understands this. I haven't talked to him since last tuesday because he has step 1 exam 2mm. and i jus hope he does well on it and does not stress about it because of my problem back home. I know i have done nothing wrong, but it jus hurts my family treated my cousins ex bf like family...he shd of never done that! i hope my babyy does not leave because of this... the words that my cousins ex bf told me is haunting me. He told me how he wishes my baby and i are no longer in a relationship. I guess he said this because he was jealous, my family loves my bf and they are very serious about him too. i dunno what to do.. how can i make myself feel better. I miss my bf so much and above this.. this drama had to happen =( i hope my baby calls me very soon so i can feel much better. (sorry for such a long post)

[JeezLouise]

I very much doubt your BF would break up with you over something so minor. Don't fret. Change your passwords.

[hisprincess4eva]

Thanks Jeezlouise for ur reply!

 

I know for a fact that my bf will never break up with me over such a small issue. Because he told me many times how much he loves and cares for me. I dunno y but im still not over this whole drama that jus happened, and i do not want all this affecting my and bf relationship's! i emailed him last night and told him everything.. and hopefully he now knows what is going on here and see's a clear view! I will feel much better after talking to my bf, jus by hearing his voice i will gain strength in me again. hopefully i will call him tonight and talk to him if he not to tired.

[JeezLouise]

Do you even know that this guy messaged your BF? Or what he told him?

 

If he is just making stuff up to send, then really, I wouldn't be concerned. On the other hand, if he is telling secrets that he knows about you that your BF doesn't know, that COULD cause some trouble, I guess.

[hisprincess4eva]

No i am not so sure if he did msg my bf! i highly doubt it because my cousin's ex bf did not know about my bf too well. I never liked my cousin's ex in the first place so i wud never talk to him much about my bf. All he did knew was my bf's name and this indian website (like myspace) where we met profile id. my cousin's ex was jus messing around with us, he changed our profile and messed up our email accounts. he msged my brother's gf cuz he knew her... saying all these things my bro's gf knew how my bro wouldn't say to her on myspace. and as if secrets go.. my bf knows everything about me. i did not hide anything from him, and he knows me too well to believe in someone! I know for a fact my cousin's ex did not msg my bf because he did accept that in the reports the cops took.

[Island Girl]

If your boyfriend knows everything about you and there are no secrets then what is there to worry about?

 

You also say you know he'd never break up with you so, again, what are you so stressed and worried about?

 

It seems like your cousin's BF succeeded in doing one thing which is upsetting you and for the life of me I can not understand why you would be flipping out.

 

If it were me, I would have kept the whole drama situation to myself and just talk to him/contact like nothing is any different - because it isn't.

 

And considering he has exams right now I would not talk of it or explain it unless he brought it up - meaning HE was contacted.

 

You have been together long enough that this should be a non-issue.

 

FYI - break posts into paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.

 

Now just breathe and try to relax. I am sure everything will be fine. And you have said yourself it will be.

Breathe.

[hisprincess4eva]

Thank you Island girl for ur reply..

 

Your response seriously made me feel so much better =) thank you so much for opening it up to me and yelling at me lol! You are indeed right i shud not let this whole drama situation get to me! Jus by worrying and freaking out too much i am saying that i do not think my love is strong, when it is because me and bf are almost done with this LDR.

 

just by freaking and flipping out too much.. i am also proving to my cousins ex how he won by making me feel so sad and worried. You are right again how nothing is any different between me and my bf. Everything is the same, i am jus making this issue feel like its the end of the world. Honetly island girl, this made me feel so much lighter you have no idea!

 

My bf and i have been together quite a while now, and we have endured many rough patches then this one. Trust me we fighted hard and we are going to keep on fighting. I am not going to make someone who is so stupid and immature come and make me feel sad.

 

I am not going to push this issue more further now, i know that if my bf had any questions or concern he wud of called or msged me. But he hasn't and that obviously says that he isn't worried about it so much and neither shud i! I am jus going to contact him like i normally do and not make things seem awkward.

 

Once again thank you sooo sooo sooo soo much island girl. It helped alot =) i can finally breathe and smile!!!!!!

[Island Girl]

You are so very welcome.

 

Just have faith in each other as always and everything will work out fine.

 

[hisprincess4eva]

Just wanted to update:

 

I did call my SO today and he was sleeping so i left a voice mail. After a couple of hrs He emailed me.. replying to my email "hey baby, do not be sorry lol its not ur fault. its okay..my exam did go well today =) and i will call u tomorrow night before i sleep. I am jus busy here baby with things for the new semester, so i'll ttyl k 2mm =) muaah i love you baby take care"

 

:)I feel much much much much better after hearing from him :)!

[sensetarget]

your bf would not break up with you over this, 2 yrs should be enough to tell you about that person.

 

But I think theres something more, either your really sensible and really young or there is something your not telling your bf. Maybe past issues have arose? When I read your paragraph, I felt you were guilty for something.

 

if not then you must be really fragile

 

good luck on

[hisprincess4eva]

thanks for ur reply sensetarget

 

My family is really craziee and weird and this thing has not happened for the first time, this was the same cousin who ran away with her bf and tried to get married when i first met my SO. Being an Indian, i do not want my bf to think that her gf's family is bad. Because my parents, brother and I are not included in this. It is jus my cousin, my dad's brother's daughter that keeps messing up big time. and i do not want anything that has nothing to do with my parents, bro or me affecting my relationship, life or career. I know how my bf wud not break up with me over issues like this, because we have been through more rougher patches then this. But it is jus an issue of being clean and telling him the honest truth that my family is kind of weird and i do not want to step back and re-think because of them.

[sensetarget]

thanks for ur reply sensetarget

 

My family is really craziee and weird and this thing has not happened for the first time, this was the same cousin who ran away with her bf and tried to get married when i first met my SO. Being an Indian, i do not want my bf to think that her gf's family is bad. Because my parents, brother and I are not included in this. It is jus my cousin, my dad's brother's daughter that keeps messing up big time. and i do not want anything that has nothing to do with my parents, bro or me affecting my relationship, life or career. I know how my bf wud not break up with me over issues like this, because we have been through more rougher patches then this. But it is jus an issue of being clean and telling him the honest truth that my family is kind of weird and i do not want to step back and re-think because of them.

 

thanks for the clarity