nas Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 i did not know where to post this. i have a fabulous boyfriend. he loves me and tells me so daily. he showers me with affection. he is always attentive and kind. we have a great sex life. and yet i cant seem to stop looking in his emails trying to see if his ex is trying to contact him. he eliminated her form his contact list to please me.he gave me his password thou i think he has know idea i look. and ofcourse i did find that on occasion(the last time about 6 months ago he sent an ïcebreaker¨to a woman on personals site...the one we met on actually 3 years ago.)what does anyone make of this? how can i stop looking at his email? why do i obsess so? he just now sent me a text message form his second job )he works at a veterans bar) saying he loves and misses me as we just had a wonderful weekend together.i dont want to be this person.
D-Lish Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 and ofcourse i did find that on occasion(the last time about 6 months ago he sent an ïcebreaker¨to a woman on personals site...the one we met on actually 3 years ago.) That's not good. Are you saying you've been together for three years and he has a dating account still? He sent something to a woman on the site when you two were dating? Anyway- if you snoop, you will always find something you don't like.
boogieboy Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Bottom line, if you keep having trust issues with him even though you say he's treating you like a princess, you are beginning to torpedo your relationship little by little. Maybe you cant picture it now, but sooner or later, you will lose him to these trust issues. Then you will be posting here about how distraught you are that he left because he couldnt take the mistrust any longer. Be careful dont let your obsession own you! P.S. : Made You Look
Author nas Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 especaily boogieman, i do not want to lose this man, how can i stop looking at his email. should i tell him i saw the postings?
boogieboy Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 especaily boogieman, i do not want to lose this man, how can i stop looking at his email. should i tell him i saw the postings? Picture the scenario first. What do you think he will say if you tell him you saw the postings? He will say its all about you and thats it. if you dont think you remember him seeming like he he was a little distant to you at one time, he never pursued it. You just have to dig deep into you to find out why you are obsessing about not trusting him. Did someone else cheat on you? Do you think you can discuss this with him without him losing trust in you? Do you think you can work it out without blowing it up? What are you prepared to do if he says he was sending icebreakers to women on the site? You gonna forgive him, or jump ship? You should try to think past the confrontation and picture what might happen.
gopher Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 That's not good. Are you saying you've been together for three years and he has a dating account still? He sent something to a woman on the site when you two were dating? Anyway- if you snoop, you will always find something you don't like. I agree with this, it's one thing to have an dormant profile where someone might send you an icebreaker, quite another when he is sending them an icebreaker. That said, you should ask him to change his email password, and either trust him or not. I would though ask him about the icebreaker...
Author nas Posted May 20, 2009 Author Posted May 20, 2009 you are right! i need to clear up the ice breaker thing and stop snooping. how did you stop? thanks everyone for their imput. i do not want to lose this guy!
Author nas Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 hiding me, i will resolve to do so. did you ever tell your bf that you had snooped? i wrote a letter confessing but, dont know if i can give it to him. i congratulate you on your strength, way to go!
Author nas Posted May 23, 2009 Author Posted May 23, 2009 i have been pondering this. i think that i am not going to give him the letter i wrote and i will simply stop snooping. i have decided to trust him.wish me luck!
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