JeezLouise Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Um, actually, it's a man asking about his BF. Truthfully, that makes not one ounce of difference, but I did want to set that fact straight.
MN randomguy Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Now, back on topic. I would say that your partner has quite a bit of say in what they're comfortable with. I have a friend who has been with his wife since high school ( not married since high school, but an item none the less). He has never seen a stripper. Would he run off with one? not likely. However, respect for the wife and the relationship. In OP's case, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. What does this guy have to gain by being half naked in his avatar? Who is he chatting with?
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Have you even read anything in this thread? She's not even the one showing off naked pictures, it's her boyfriend. Yeah I know what the thread is about. I think it's fine if he wants to show off his body. Who cares? Is he not with her? Is he not coming to her to have sex everynight? As long as he is not talking to these women, what is the harm? What is the big deal? And also, I'm curious.. how does showing people naked pictures of oneself help someone "explore" sexuality? Well, as a woman, I get more turned on being looked at then looking. I think alot of women are this way. That is why we pretty ourselves up. If a man can explore his sexuality looking at images of other woman, whats the big deal in his partner being the other woman having men looking at her? What does this guy have to gain by being half naked in his avatar? Who is he chatting with? It's just fun. Like when men look at porn. What does a guy have to gain by looking at porn? Nothing in the grand scheme but men still like it? Unless you considering a naked picture cheating on someone. This guy will be going to her bed at the end of the night. No one elses. What's the big deal?
GorillaTheater Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Well, as a woman, I get more turned on being looked at then looking. I think alot of women are this way. That is why we pretty ourselves up. If a man can explore his sexuality looking at images of other woman, whats the big deal in his partner being the other woman having men looking at her? No big deal at all, discounting the woman in question tempting the men to visually and mentally cheat on their long-suffering S.O.s. Not unlike the role played by a porn actress.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 What is good for the goose is good for the gander Gorilla. If men want to look at other women, they shouldn't hinder their woman wanting to be looked at. But of course, most guys have a double standard and become very protective if a woman wants to show skin for the pleasure of being admired. Yet it's okay for *him* to admire other women.
kdark Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 What is good for the goose is good for the gander Gorilla. If men want to look at other women, they shouldn't hinder their woman wanting to be looked at. But of course, most guys have a double standard and become very protective if a woman wants to show skin for the pleasure of being admired. Yet it's okay for *him* to admire other women. If you are talking about strictly Male porn use vs. Woman getting pretty and showing skin at a bar, then it is not a fair comparison, because I know I will never meet/see the women from my pornos in real life. While the woman going out on the town to get hit on by guys is a real interaction. Hell even if she just puts her thong/tits on msn messager then people on her friends list will see that and respond, turning it into a real interaction, with real people that she knows, which would NEVER happen in just wanking to a porn video for a guy.
era Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 What does this guy have to gain by being half naked in his avatar? Who is he chatting with? OP is gay (read his previous threads) and is in a LDR...so he has no idea who his b/f is chatting with, and who he is flashing half-naked avatars to. just saying....
paddington bear Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 To be honest, all my gay male friends have pics of their six packs and photos of themselves in next to nothing on facebook etc. It seems to be a competitive thing, who has the best gym-toned body rather than specifically trying to find someone new - although there is that aspect too. I'm guessing he simply wants to be seen as 'hot'. I'm not sure in this instance if it's so much insecurity as 'hey! I worked hard to get this body and I want to show it off to the world!' The thing is, I suppose, as his partner, if you're not happy with it, then it would be nice of him not to do it. It's a little thing, just a couple of small pictures...but then again, it's a big thing, it's in a way advertising your desirability to the world, when it would be nice if it was only you who got to see those parts of his body.
sb129 Posted May 20, 2009 Posted May 20, 2009 Gay, straight, man, woman. I would not be happy about it if it was my SO- I would wonder who s/he was chatting to and what the content of the chat was. JS- you are OK with people putting naked pics of themselves online, but not with porn- isn't that a paradox?
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 If you are talking about strictly Male porn use vs. Woman getting pretty and showing skin at a bar, then it is not a fair comparison, because I know I will never meet/see the women from my pornos in real life. While the woman going out on the town to get hit on by guys is a real interaction. Hell even if she just puts her thong/tits on msn messager then people on her friends list will see that and respond, turning it into a real interaction, with real people that she knows, which would NEVER happen in just wanking to a porn video for a guy. What if she posted pictures of herself and had a message board style up where men could respond to it but she didn't? That way she isn't interacting with them, just taking in the validation. My real point of comparison is if a man is going to stare at other women then he shuold be okay with his partner seeking the stares of other men and enjoying being eye candy for other men. Most men seem to be awfully protective of being sure that other men don't get to see the goods b ut are eager to look at the goods of other women. And I think what most of us are forgetting is that men and women are often turned on by different things. It seems that men are okay with women being turned on in ways that men are turned on by, but if goes to ways women can be turned on seperate from men, men are much more insecure. JS- you are OK with people putting naked pics of themselves online, but not with porn- isn't that a paradox? Im not really saying it's okay or not okay. What I am saying is that I think there are a few double standards going on here where men don't really want to let women be true to their female sexuality. Women are more turned on by being looked at then men. Men are more turned on by looking then women. In most cases. Men don't like it when women seek to be looked at or show off their bodies yet men are 100% okay lookiing at other women. If a man is looing at pictures of other women and he isn't doing anything wrong. How could his gf be doing anything wrong by posting sexy pictures of herself online that other men can view?
sb129 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 But in this case the OP is a man, and we don't even know if he is looking at other pics of men online. He is uncomfortable about his BF putting pics of himself online.
era Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 What I am saying is that I think there are a few double standards going on here where men don't really want to let women be true to their female sexuality. Women are more turned on by being looked at then men. Men are more turned on by looking then women. In most cases. Men don't like it when women seek to be looked at or show off their bodies yet men are 100% okay lookiing at other women. If a man is looing at pictures of other women and he isn't doing anything wrong. How could his gf be doing anything wrong by posting sexy pictures of herself online that other men can view? Jersey Shortie..*sigh* There is no woman in this scenario.
sb129 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Yes, so to turn it back to "Women and Porn" is almost off topic.
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Well, we all got a little side tracked on this one. People were relating it to their own experiences rather then the OPs. Doesn't mean there isn't a double standards I discussed SB.
sb129 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Discussing them across multiple threads is a little...... selfish, don't you think?
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 It was within the context of the thread was it not? Gay, stragith, boyfriend, girlfriend..we seem to all visit the same issues. YOU joined in the conversation, are you saying you think your selfish too? It still is a message board right? :lol
sb129 Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I'm not the one dominating three threads with my hangups.....
Jersey Shortie Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 It's a message board. Open to discussion. This is the last I will say on your direct attacks.
mixwell Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 Yup, showing off body parts online is a definite cry for attention. It doesn't make it right or wrong, just people wanting attention, although with some, when it becomes a constant NEED for attention and validation for their body, there are far deeper issues. Totally agree. My ex girlfriend was young (19 , Im 26) and she would wear some short skirts etc.. I believe that females (not sure about males) do this so they get checked out and keep there ego up as generally I believe they have low self esteem and need confirmation. The deeper issue as Trial posted was that my ex was bulemic (spelled wrong sorry) and although was a very attractive girl who dressed really sexy I knew it boiled down to low self esteem in the end. Everywhere we went she made sure she looked her very best all the time. I don't know what the OP's boyfriend's MO is but personally I don't think its right to reveal yourself online or to anyone else if you have a partner. If you would be okay with them doing it to you then you shouldn't do it to them. I think the OP should take a cleavage shot as her avatar and see if her bf is cool with it.. and of course PM me the picture.. haha j/k
era Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 I think the OP should take a cleavage shot as her avatar and see if her bf is cool with it.. and of course PM me the picture.. haha j/k OP has no cleavage... Read the entire thread, dude.....
kdark Posted May 21, 2009 Posted May 21, 2009 What if she posted pictures of herself and had a message board style up where men could respond to it but she didn't? That way she isn't interacting with them, just taking in the validation. There is still the temptation for her to respond. No such thing with porn. There is still the opportunity for her to interact with them, so it isn't the same. The temptation is still there. Not so in porn. My real point of comparison is if a man is going to stare at other women then he shuold be okay with his partner seeking the stares of other men and enjoying being eye candy for other men. Most men seem to be awfully protective of being sure that other men don't get to see the goods b ut are eager to look at the goods of other women. And I think what most of us are forgetting is that men and women are often turned on by different things. It seems that men are okay with women being turned on in ways that men are turned on by, but if goes to ways women can be turned on seperate from men, men are much more insecure. I'm not going to argue this point with you, because I have absolutely no problem with my girlfriend if she wanted to go to amateur night at a strip club and dance on the pole in front of a crowd of hungry men. I would be angry at her for NOT inviting me. Im not really saying it's okay or not okay. What I am saying is that I think there are a few double standards going on here where men don't really want to let women be true to their female sexuality. Women are more turned on by being looked at then men. Men are more turned on by looking then women. In most cases. Men don't like it when women seek to be looked at or show off their bodies yet men are 100% okay lookiing at other women. If a man is looing at pictures of other women and he isn't doing anything wrong. How could his gf be doing anything wrong by posting sexy pictures of herself online that other men can view? A double standard? Well of course there is. This is nothing new though. That's one thing you have to put up with from guys as a women. I put up with tons of crap from women as a guy in a relationship. If I have to deal with the emotional outbursts, the expectation to pay for the vast majority of dates we go on, and the crazy cooing whenever a baby or puppy passes by, my girlfriend can learn to live with the fact that I watch a porno every once in a while on my own time.
Iced Mocha Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Quote: Yesssss that **** is unacceptable. Ask duke if he'd be okay with you showing off a thong in your MSN Display pic, I'm sure his answer is going to be a solid N-O. ___________________________________ I do find this interesting you know. I also wonder how men would feel about if you were masturbating to a hunky colleague of yours, or thinking about him while you had sex with your boyfriend. When the shoe is on the other foot, men are just as pissed. But they don't empathise with how a woman might feel when he does the same thing. Help me understand this.
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