LovieDove24 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Honestly I've probably been on close to 20 blind dates since joining an online dating site six months ago. Only a few of these dates ever resulted in a second or third. Now lets compare online dating to meeting to someone in real life. Usually within five minutes of meeting someone you can size them up into whether or not you'd want to date the person. There is none of this lets send 10 emails back and forth, talk on the phone multiple times before you actually get to the real deal. Quite honestly, all of that is exhausting and quite a waste of time for all parties involved. I am so exhausted from it I feel like I don't ever want to go on a date with a stranger again. Phew, I'm done with it. Please take my advice people and stick to dating the old fashioned way.
WhyYesThankYou Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I want to wax nostalgic for a moment about internet dating back around 1996-97. I was in college, and the internet was a toddler. Pretty much the only people who had ready access to the internet were people in college and/or were - how can I say this without sounding like an elitist snob? - ah, hell - of above-average intelligence. The online personals back in those days were almost entirely text-based - no photos - and there were fewer cutesy surveys or boxes to tick. You described yourself in prose, and people either liked it or didn't. It was an easier, more self-selecting environment. So, back in the day, I had some good experiences. Some very good experiences, which led to meeting some nice and interesting people, and one good relationship. But now, I find, online dating is akin to hanging around when the bars close and seeing who else is alone and looking. [shudder]
era Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Quite honestly, all of that is exhausting and quite a waste of time for all parties involved. Please take my advice people and stick to dating the old fashioned way. Hi LovieDove24... I have not tried online dating yet - but I was planning to. How did the dates turn bad for you?..were the guys deceptive?..I mean did they not match their online profile, or was it a matter of zero chemistry?
BobSacamento Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Perhaps you are trying a little too hard. I don't even like talking on the phone with someone I haven't even met. It's too awkward and too much work. Just get the coffee met up with as little effort as possible is my moto.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Why would you go on blind dates? You should always ask for a pic4pic to see if there's any attraction before you decide to continue contact. The way you went about meeting these guys is too fast. Always, always test out the water by exchanging at least 4-5 emails before you jump ahead to actually meeting. It'll put you in a safe position to see what kind of person he is by the way he writes and the way he interacts with you online.
BobSacamento Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Yeah always have to get pics. Hell I try to get them to FB friend me first. Seems to always reveal the true person. I'm so superficial! lol
zilverenvlinder Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Question...have you online daters ever gone out with anyone online who lived an hour away? And met up halfway somewhere? Or is that crazy talk.
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Maybe your profile is attracting the wrong type of guys... The success of online dating is all up to you and weeding out the screw-ups or the people who don't mesh with you. Why have you gone on some many dates in such a short period ?.. it takes more than a few days or a week sort a good date out.. I would only go on one or two dates a month when I was online dating.. it isn't easy finding someone you're compatible with and to go out just to go out is a waste of time and money.
D-Lish Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I've had quite a bit of luck with online dating. I won't consider meeting anyone without seeing numerous pictures and a couple MSN conversations. I've had some crazy experiences as well, but I get that with guys I meet in real life as well. I'm not going out to bars every weekend and I live in suberbia... so I see it as a means of meeting people outside my normal radius. DON'T FACEBOOK A STRANGER!!!!! I got stalked doing that- the dude found out all my personal info and showed up at my doorstep at midnight....
missmich Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I've been on a few dating sites and actually paid for match.com for a couple of months. The one I used most recently was free and I was on there for soooo long. Like a few years and changed my profile a few times. At first I used it a lot then stopped because it was all the same men there and then I wouldn't visit the site for a few months. When I got more serious about really wanting to meet someone again I searched for what I really wanted and sent out messages to anyone who looked interesting to me. Most of the guys I connected with on-line didn't seem to want to meet in real life. The chats and messages kept dragging on and on! So I moved on. I did meet a few guys over the years and none of them were right for me. I always told myself that we'd meet for a coffee and if there was no chemistry or whatever fine,at least I enjoyed a nice cup of coffee. I finally found a guy who had a great profile and seemed to have the same attitude about the on-line dating things as I did and he was cute too! So I sent him a message and after a couple days of not really being on at the same time and not being able to chat I exchanged my MSN and facebook info with him and met him within a week! We've been dating now for close to 2 months and we've both removed our profiles.
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 DON'T FACEBOOK A STRANGER!!!!! I got stalked doing that- the dude found out all my personal info and showed up at my doorstep at midnight.... I had something similar happen to me other than it wasn't a facebook deal. I had been communicating with someone I met online and we had switched to personal emails and even though mine wasn't work related it was being sent thru work ip adresses which are traceable to my work's company name and one day after a emails from her I get a phone call from her while I was sitting at my desk at work.. She thought it would be cool to trace my ip, find out where I work and call me blindly.. I freaked of course and told her never to contact me again.. of course I did that in email as I was so shocked while talking to her all I could do was have a normal conversation with her.. I'm not dumb and know all about ip's but who in their right mind would do something like that..
Author LovieDove24 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Why would you go on blind dates? You should always ask for a pic4pic to see if there's any attraction before you decide to continue contact. The way you went about meeting these guys is too fast. Always, always test out the water by exchanging at least 4-5 emails before you jump ahead to actually meeting. It'll put you in a safe position to see what kind of person he is by the way he writes and the way he interacts with you online. I call it a "blind" date because essentially the person you are meeting is a stranger, are they not? And pictures can be awfully decieving in my experience anyways...so yes, you're still entering into it blindly.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I had something similar happen to me other than it wasn't a facebook deal. I had been communicating with someone I met online and we had switched to personal emails and even though mine wasn't work related it was being sent thru work ip adresses which are traceable to my work's company name and one day after a emails from her I get a phone call from her while I was sitting at my desk at work.. She thought it would be cool to trace my ip, find out where I work and call me blindly.. I freaked of course and told her never to contact me again.. of course I did that in email as I was so shocked while talking to her all I could do was have a normal conversation with her.. I'm not dumb and know all about ip's but who in their right mind would do something like that.. Wow, Art, she sounds really psycho. I didn't even know people could trace ip's.
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Wow, Art, she sounds really psycho. I didn't even know people could trace ip's. Yeah.. she was,.. but I never heard another peep outta her.. Most peoples ip's are only traceable to an area of town, mine was traceable to my work because she looked up who owned it..
St. Nick Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 All this is old news. I only tried online dating a couple times around a year ago and I only got a few dates. Of course they sucked, but at least they were for real. Many guys find out that the women on these dating sites are attention whores, who only want guys to send them flirts.
stepka Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 My friend had a really hot guy from London message her and he was flying to the states b/c he said he was moving here. Did I mention he was extremely hot? Then he was IMing her one day and finalizing his plans for her to pick him up at the airport but he was short on cash and could she send him some money so he get here? She told him to go get his own credit card. We decided that it probably wasn't his real pic--ya think. That said, she met a really nice guy on the same free site and they are getting pretty serious. I've had a few, and one worked out too well, but he was too young and i started to get too attached, so I stopped it, and another worked out pretty well but he started to get more attached than me too fast so that one had to stop too, but I'd call them successes anyway b/c there was chemistry and great conversation and they were both very intelligent and handsome. I had a guy with a fetish who wanted to suck my arm but that was the worst. The others have been okay, just no chem. In today's busy world it seems too hard to meet people any other way--when you're out somewhere everyone has their ipod on.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I met my BF on a dating site. We're not all fail stories.
Bells Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Honestly I've probably been on close to 20 blind dates since joining an online dating site six months ago. Only a few of these dates ever resulted in a second or third. Now lets compare online dating to meeting to someone in real life. Usually within five minutes of meeting someone you can size them up into whether or not you'd want to date the person. There is none of this lets send 10 emails back and forth, talk on the phone multiple times before you actually get to the real deal. Quite honestly, all of that is exhausting and quite a waste of time for all parties involved. I am so exhausted from it I feel like I don't ever want to go on a date with a stranger again. Phew, I'm done with it. Please take my advice people and stick to dating the old fashioned way. I have to agree....waste of time mostly. And it's in favor of the women....if a woman is even remotely attractive....she'll have her inbox full by the end of a a few days. And yout alk about the whole "emailing back and forth" crap.....how about you do all that, and they decide they STILL aren't ready to meet, or they fall off the planet when you suggest meeting for a brief lunch? I had this one woman, who literally lived in the next SUB-division across the main drag from me. We were emailing back and forth daily (Might as well have been chatting) I think we started on a monday, around thursday I asked if she'd like to talk on the phone....she said "I'm not ready yet" I decide to be a gentleman and be cool with it......same back and forth email and the end of the following week I ask to meet for lunch. She STILL isn't ready yet. I finally said, "Hey, how long are we going to be talking on here before we meet ??" She finally got irritated and said, "I don't like someone that's pushy, good bye" Eventually, the person is going to have to crap or get off the pot. If you DO manage to actually correspond with someone.....they still might dangle that carrot in front of you. Seems like people like being perpetual pen pals without ever actually meeting in person.
BCCA Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 It is what you make of it. Its definitely not going to magically give you a relationship, but it should be looked at as just another way to meet people. I think some people put all their eggs in the online dating basket, and when they dont get the responses they want, they give up. Thats what Ive done before.
yeex Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Also, for free online dating tips, check out my blog http://www.eflirtexpert.com/wordpress uh. . Fail!
Isolde Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 The reason I don't recommend online dating is this: despite the popularity of online dating, the sample of people you get from online is simply not as good and as varied as the sample of people you meet IRL. Why limit yourself that way?
LexiB Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 The reason I don't recommend online dating is this: despite the popularity of online dating, the sample of people you get from online is simply not as good and as varied as the sample of people you meet IRL. Why limit yourself that way? Well, it's really not a limit at all if you do as the previous poster said and treat OL dating as just *another* way of meeting people instead of your *sole* way. A dating site should enhance your dating life, not be the begining and end of it. Looking at potentials online should not preclude anybody from noticing the cute guy/girl standing in line next to them at the coffee shop...
SummerLady Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 Honestly I've probably been on close to 20 blind dates since joining an online dating site six months ago. Only a few of these dates ever resulted in a second or third. Now lets compare online dating to meeting to someone in real life. Usually within five minutes of meeting someone you can size them up into whether or not you'd want to date the person. There is none of this lets send 10 emails back and forth, talk on the phone multiple times before you actually get to the real deal. Quite honestly, all of that is exhausting and quite a waste of time for all parties involved. I am so exhausted from it I feel like I don't ever want to go on a date with a stranger again. Phew, I'm done with it. Please take my advice people and stick to dating the old fashioned way. I met someone on line and I am now in a good relationship. He had dated 4 or 5 people from on line dating and felt the way you did. He was my first. We clicked instantly, we are very compatiable. I hear what you are saying. it may be just a stroke of luck for us but I think everyone should try it.
Author LovieDove24 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Yeah I think the most annoying part about it that first dates/blind dates are so awkward and tense and you typically end up going on so many of them. Because its the only REAL way to know if CuteRay56 is really your type. Basically, in my opinion, online dating sites are really just a vehicle for the first dates...because you can't actually "try someone on" until you meet in real life. Texting, emailing, phone calls...they're all just a bunch of fluff. I think I am particularily jaded after having been talking to this cute guy for two weeks on the phone. Our conversations were really fun and then we met in person and I dunno, his body language just gave me such a different impression of him. He never smiled, wouldn't make much eye contact...oh and did I mention he was about 40 lbs heavier than in his pictures?
CarrieT Posted May 19, 2009 Posted May 19, 2009 I am right there with you. I've been online dating for a little more than nine months and only once was there a second date (but not a third). The amount of energy one has to expend to even begin a decent conversation becomes exhausting -- and then there is the disappointment when, after numerous messages back and forth, they simply disappear without explaining why. THAT is the most frustrating for me and I really appreciate the rare occasion when a guy tells me, "It was nice meeting you, too. However, I realized that we have more differences than similarities with our interests and ideologies." Just give me a little closure! The rudeness of internet communication is driving me nuts.
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