Wibble Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Not really sure if my postings still belong here or in the "Divorce" section, but I thought an update might be appropriate, if only to highlight the perils of being "reasonable"! After 3 years of trying to get my unfaithful wife to go to MC, following her affair, I decided 9 months ago to leave. Her subsequent behaviour has not only vindicated my decision, but has lead me to seriously question her mental state. The feelings of guilt I had/have about being the one to leave are natural. I placated them by being as "reasonable" as possible, giving my wife a decent income and paying all the bills I had previously covered, less food and utilities. The mortgage, insurance premiums, mobile bills, internet charges, council tax and school fees are all paid by me. I also have to find the cost of the rent and charges on my new flat, and hold down a full time job. I have been an "on call" childminder when my commitments allow, and I have regularly taken the family (including her) out on day trips and visits. The payback for all this? Constant demands for extra money, accusations of greed and selfishness and total uncooperation over the forthcoming divorce. At every opportunity the kids have been used to punish me, as she shows no remorse in letting them suffer if she feels that I have not paid for something that she feels I should. In short our relationship has descended into a trench warfare where little or no communication is vocal (she never answers her phone), it all happens by text and e-mail. So I have had little choice but to descend to her level, or end up in debtors prison. The warning is clear - REASONABLE MEN GET NOWHERE. And her mental illness? According to my research she fulfils the prime criteria to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She is utterly careless of the consequences of her actions on anyone around her, be they family or friends. The signs were there during our marriage, but it has taken the trauma of a separation for them to bloom. Not pretty.
Reggie Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 As soon as I started reading your story, personality disorder jumped out. These vampires have no remorse and a huge sense of entitlement. Let your lawyer run interference and have as little contact as possible(I know there are kids to consider). Your wife sound very much like mine, right down to the refusal to communicate by phone. Let the applicable law ram this down her throat. Expect no reason from her and no sense of fairplay. The color of the sky in her world is compeltely different folks. She truly believes she has done nothing wrong and that you were placed here on this earth to serve her.
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