Jagdpanther Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 hi all i have been with girlfriend for 3 months. We have a lot in common and became close real quick. But , she has a drinking problem, and is on antidepressants. her mood swings are virtually unbearable now. When I see her, is like I never know what to expect. She is clearly depressed and the alcohol is adding to her moods. Her mood can change from ok, to outright depressed in a space of minutes (especially after drinking). (she lost her husband 5 years ago, and got stitched up with money from guy few years ago, so there is a lot of apparent pain from the past here) Last tuesday she was drinking again (she drinks every night now), talking about work issues. I was listening, then all of a sudden she accused me of not listening , watching the tv. I did glance at the tv, that was all. She then launches into her usual character assignation . Tells me not to touch her. Tells me to go up to bed by myself. Her body language is all defensive and aggressive. Accuses me of never listening to her, and gets generally aggressive with me. I could not just sit back and take that, I told her not to talk to me like I was something on the bottom of her shoe, and went home. she then calls me up, crying. I go back to her . Stay the night. She gets up during night taking more pills (dont know what they were). Tosses and turns all night and is all unsettled. Following day she turns up at work out of blue, (which she has never done), is all nice and normal to me. Sends me text later saying how much she loves me. This has been a huge pattern, in our relationship of her push , pull ways. I said could we see each other that night, she said she did not know. She phones at 6.30 and says she is too tired. Her phone is switched off for 2.5 hours then she sends me text saying she cant sleep and is missing me. Well if she is missing me, then why dont we hook up ?? (i only live 10 min drive away). Thursday , following day, she texts me at 7pm saying she will contact me later. 8.40 i get text saying she could do with glass of wine and cuddle. I phone her and she berates me for phoning because she is doing 'home work' , makes me feel guilty for phoning. All i wanted was quick chat, to follow up on her text about cuddle. I say, would you like me to come round then, she says hows is that going to work then , and comes out with excuses as to why it not good idea, makes me feel guilty for suggesting. anyway, i keep it cool and kinda clam up on phone and she realises i bit fed up . I just say bye to her. At 11-30 she sends me text with no usual 'x' on end, saying why am i sulking, she does not need it. then another text saying, whats the point to this relationship, why are you still doing this? (i think she means sulking still) At that point i had enough, i sent her a text saying i could not take this anymore, the way she treats me and talks to me. For her to leave me alone. She texts back saying, 'ok, i have no idea what you are talking about, fine by me then, i will never contact you again' I sent a couple more texts saying how i felt , and frustrated by her drinking, moods and disrespect to me. I have had NC from her since last thursday night. I did send text today , saying that if she wanted to chat, and that i still had feelings for her. I know I should hae done that, but i still feel so strong for her I feel so sad and lost that I could not get through to her. She is very emotionally charged, and her alcohol and pills have certainly played a huge part in this. She has anger inside toward her father too, does not know why he cant say he loves her. I feel i have been on this huge rollercoaster, others have said to me that I have been her punch bag. The real confusion and pain is that I do not know who the real person is here. Is it the one that sends me texts saying she loves me, or the one that when she is drunk saying that everything is my fault. I feel there is no way back now, and other friend has asked the question if she has seen anyone else. That thought is horrible , and i dont believe it. We have spent most of our time together and i cannot believe this mess has anything to do with her seeing someone else. I was surprised by the tone of that text, where she said whats the point of this relationship. But then she has said many negative things to my face about our relationship. I am just so confused and lost, underneath this womans emotional carnage lies a great person, i believe, and I feel that i have failed, not been strong enough to cope with her and get through to her. please, please, all advice welcome. thanks
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