heartbrokenxxxx Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 i have split up with my ex of nearly 4 years 2 months ago and he was my first love. we have had NC as ive been told it makes it easier. people said it gets easier if you give it time, but if im honest, even after 2 months i am still constantly thinking of him and just cant move on. i have also heard that it takes half the time you were together to get over someone, i hope thats not true because i cant bear going through this for another 2 years!! i would like no know other peoples experience as this is my first break up. how long did it take you to get over your ex? what was the situation? how long were you together? and whats the best way to get over them? please any feedback would really help me thanks!
trustydusty Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I'm sure that it varies from person to person, my first real love of about 2 1/2 years took about 6-8 months to finally get over, and still much longer for feelings to really fade. But my advice is NC will make the pain go away quicker, i just recently got broken up with and although it was a much shorter relationship, i'm trying to block it out of my head. You won't be worried about this in two years as long as you try and move on. You'll meet someone great, and the ex will just be a memory, and eventually you will start to forget...goodluck i know it's tough.
fabulous_chk Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 We have about the same time frame: 4 years of relationship, 8 weeks of break-up. The only thing is we've both broken NC several times. So it's only 8 days of NC for me. I'm still obsessed, addicted and irrational over him. Yes, still in love. Somebody else told me the same thing- divide the relationship's time-span in half and that's how long it would take us to get over it. But then I was devastated as well with my other ex when we broke up and it took only 4 months for me to date again. I fell in love at first sight. Hope we find a replacement in 4 months.
boogieboy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 You have to conciously try to not think of him. You have to occupy your mind with other things. it will take longer when you keep him on your mind. You need constant distractions to heal faster. And make sure you dont break NC, otherwise you will have to start over.
Author heartbrokenxxxx Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 thanks for the advice, i think its hard for me because i dumped him and we left on terms where we didnt talk about ending the relationship, he just said out the blue he didnt want to be with me and didnt want to meet me and didnt no when he would next talk to me when he promised me he wouldnt do that again as he has in the past (he has done this about 10 times throughout relationship where he says he doesnt want to be with me then changes his mind begging for me back saying he didnt mean it, stupidly i took him back everytime believing him cos i didnt want to loose him as i was in love with him and i cringe now how stupid i was to let him get away with it so often) so i just had to end it through an email as i couldnt bare the pain of waiting around for him to call and say its over again, but i was hoping he would call me if i sent that email.. but he didnt. i think i am just hoping for a call or text to either appologies or say he didnt mean it which now he obviously did cos he hasnt contacted me for 2 months. but i am still hoping he cared for me enough to say sorry for what he did so thats why it is hard to let go as we never fully discussed why he wanted to end the relationship. so everyday i am wondering why he changed his mind, and what would have happened if i didnt dump him.
Dmoney28 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 yeah, i heard it takes half the time of the relationship to get over the person. Its been 8 months since my break-up of 4 years. I went NC for the last month. (she broke it 2 weeks ago, after she told me NC). I'm way better than i was 2-4 months into the breakup. It just takes time. Everyone is diffrent. It went from, constantly wanting to talk to her, to lingering emotional pain, to thinking about her less and less. Once I got focused on work, hobbies, gym and friends, it got easiers as the months pass.
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