Bells Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I dont' mean to berate women here....however....I think this is a VERY legitimate post, inspired by the woman who had the "Stalkerish" prospective boyfriend. (Have to love that new word with the "-ish" on the end) I noticed some woman use the word "stalker" in a joking way these days. But what they fail to realize, that this is dangerous. Agreed? Ever have a woman say to you, "Tee hee, I think I have a stalker". It can't be described hereon the board, you'd have to actually HEAR her tone of voice. With the dawn of Facebook and Myspace, and easily coming across women on the "People you might ALSO know list" or perhaps you decide to look up all highschool or college girls that you used to go to school with. They would sometimes give you the ol "LOL, are you stalking meeeeee?" You know "ha ha" or "he he" used after the sentence? Also, the big "kick" these days on MySpace for the Customized pages....they actually have "stalk me" in lieu of "add me as a favorite" or something. Seems like MySpace encourages "stalking" Now the line between Real bonafide stalking...and just....well..harmless "stalking"? is really a hard balance. Would you say that even women One time, I met a woman a few times at a restaurant/lounge....later, I just "so happened" to see her on one of those social networking sites, and emailed her there saying, "Hey, you have a Myspace account, we met at the such and such place" And one day I'm back at the same place, and she comes up to me while I'm talking to a friend of mine (who also knows her), gives me a BIG hug, runs her fingers through my hair (not in that order) and says, "Heeeeeey....how's it goin'?" And the guy with me says, "Oh, you guys met?" and she says, big ol' smile on her face, "Yeah.....I think I have a stalker!" and laughs about it (while she continues to have her arm around my waist" I was confused....here she is, being all touchy feely with me, friendly, laughing, and she just referred to me as a "stalker"?? How does that figure...how does it compute? (That's why I'm using the QUOTES ""....from now on, every time I use the word "stalker" it will have quotes around it, lol") I'm confused, any women here EVER use the word "stalker" in a JOKING fashion??
missdependant Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Stalking in a serious issue.. but why get upset over what others might find humorous? My boyfriend's ex definitely DOES stalk us. I do laugh about it, because it is a pretty pathetic little life she is living.. it's not really my problem. I have a restraining order against the woman these days, which seems to have stopped some of her psychotic tendencies. In the past year I have had to change my myspace, change my e-mail, change my number, we've moved to a new house, and have a new group of friends and still... she finds ways of getting in touch with us. We avoid her at all costs, but somehow she ends up tailgating me on the road then flipping me off and driving like a maniac, she happens to know when we're out at certain places then show up and start drama, she happens to have BOTH of our new numbers, she happened to find out new myspace pages (which by the way, we use fake names for all of it and brand new e-mail addresses), somehow she knows where we live, etc. We're not in a small town, but we're not in a big city either.. maybe it's coincidetal, but somehow I HIGHLY DOUBT IT! I don't bother trying to hide from her anymore. Instead I let people know what a psycho she is, got a restraining order recently which took almost SIX MONTHS to get instated and I haven't heard or seen from her since. Lucky me! PS. Yes, I do joke and call her a crazy stalker even though she really IS a crazy stalker!
era Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I noticed some woman use the word "stalker" in a joking way these days. But what they fail to realize, that this is dangerous. Agreed? No I'm confused, any women here EVER use the word "stalker" in a JOKING fashion?? Of course, and so do men. Why are so bothered by this?
Author Bells Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 No Of course, and so do men. Why are so bothered by this? Because I consider it a red flag when a woman (or man) uses it in a sentence...it's dangerous.
era Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Because I consider it a red flag when a woman (or man) uses it in a sentence...it's dangerous. dude,you sound paranoid...
loveslife Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I agree that you're making kind of a lot about this. It's one of those things where you really have to take into account the context and the person who says it. Maybe you were just bothered by the lady putting her arms around you?
Chinook Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 You think too much. There is a big difference between malicious intent and stalking and humourous intent... which means you're missing the point. Facebook even has a 'poke' thing which says 'stalk' one of your friends so it isnt down to just 'women'. Blokes use it as well. I've got friends at work who jokingly talk about girls stalking them. It's a societal diffusing of the negative connotations associated with it. Only the person being 'stalked' can determine unwanted and malicious intent - at which point they need to do something about it.
Bejita463 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Because I consider it a red flag when a woman (or man) uses it in a sentence...it's dangerous. My brain actually short-circuited in processing a response to this. It is a rare moment when I want to respond to something, but am so dumbfounded by it that I am unable. I felt like sharing. Thought you might be amused by it.
Mahatma Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I joked about this girl being a stalker in my life. She was borderline stalking. She would show up places where I was and just look at me. She'd stare at me in the hallways in highschool and EVEN ended up in quite a few of my senior classes coincidentally. Since I have been away to college, I have not seen her. However, I am home for the summer now...she's probably waiting for me outside my window. As for your post, I think you spent waaaaay too much time thinking about it. Girls do this because they want to feel pursued. They call you a stalker to create the image of your wanting to find/pursue/talk/or even stalk them because they are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful, sexy, fun... whatever. They say it to make it a point that YOU looked for them, not the opposite.
BobSacamento Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Seriously dude you need a sense of humor. That was obviously a joke. I've had girls TXT me in a place when they see me with the line "I see you". And she follow up with "I'm such a creeper." Creeper another word for stalker type person or total weirdo like person. I know it was just in jest. I'd say if the person touches the person accused of stalking then there should be no worries.
normal Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 What's the big deal? Am I missing something? There's nothing wrong with the whole "stalking" analogy. Might you be making a mountain out of a molehill? I use the word stalk jokingly... I don't think I've ever needed to use it literally. But I've also never hurt anyone's feelings by joking abou it.
Author Bells Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 I joked about this girl being a stalker in my life. She was borderline stalking. She would show up places where I was and just look at me. She'd stare at me in the hallways in highschool and EVEN ended up in quite a few of my senior classes coincidentally. Since I have been away to college, I have not seen her. However, I am home for the summer now...she's probably waiting for me outside my window. As for your post, I think you spent waaaaay too much time thinking about it. Girls do this because they want to feel pursued. They call you a stalker to create the image of your wanting to find/pursue/talk/or even stalk them because they are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful, sexy, fun... whatever. They say it to make it a point that YOU looked for them, not the opposite. Well.....actually, men have used "stalkerish" techniques to win over a woman. Like time your walk towards the door or following her to the cafeteria on campus, wait till she sits down and you buy lunch and ask to sit with her. There is a fine line, if you think about it. Back in the old days, men used to.....well...what would be considered by TODAY'S standards as "stalking" to find a reason to get to know them.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 What is the etiquette on cyberstalking? Ive seen that phrase thrown around rather loosely
Confusedalways Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Cyberstalking is becoming more and more accepted as time passes. I no longer get weirded out when someone is all "So I was stalking you on fb and I see you like x,y,z." That doesn't really creep me out, everyone does it, I think.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Cyberstalking is becoming more and more accepted as time passes. I no longer get weirded out when someone is all "So I was stalking you on fb and I see you like x,y,z." That doesn't really creep me out, everyone does it, I think.If I masturbate to your facebook is that a violation of etiquette, or only if I tell you about it
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