blue_moon Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Dear members, I need you help and advice. I am really confused by the behavior of this guy, he is older then me but not old, in his late 30/early 40. Never been married, no kids, successful at work etc. I can't comment on anything else because I don't know anything about his past relationships. I've been attracted to this guy for a long time, about 2 years. I always felt that he might like me too but he was my boss and that's why I never expressed my feelings to avoid any problems at work. I used to see him maybe 4 times a year when he was coming to my office for business from Canada ( I am in Dublin) and he always was very friendly and even seem shy when he was around me. At some point we became MySpace friends and exchanged few friendly messages but nothing intimate. Few months ago he left the company and during his last visit he invited me and few other colleagues out for farewell drinks. We got on so well that evening with him, he was asking lots of questions about me and we spent most of the evening speaking to each other. He walked me home, it felt like we had this amazing chemistry between us but he never tried to kiss me or even take my hand, I never tried anything too because I was shy I I thought he was too). At the end we just hugged each other, said good bye outside and I went home. He texted half an hour later saying he enjoyed the evening and regretted I didn't envite him for a drink upstairs. I replied that next time he comes to visit he is definitely going to be invited. To which he replyied that instead I should come to cananda next time. I was really excited about this and said that I would love to and will come soon. The next day I wrote to him thanking him for the nice evening but deliberately didn't mention his invitation to Canada. He wrote back reminding me about our converstion and asked when I am coming. He offered to stay at his place and even suggested I invited some of the freinds I have in Toronto for a party in his place. I accepted. I came 3 weeks later, we were in touch all the time untill then, he was texting me and writing messges on MySpace asking what I want to do when I come and just a general chat, which was always initiated by him. I was over the moon and couldn't wait to see him. A week before I came he got very sick with mumbs but was getting better and I decided not to postpone my trip and go anyway. When I arrived he still had signs of his illness but he seemed very happy to see me and was in a good mood. But then the strange things started to happen. He suggested we shared his bed, although I am sure there were other options where I could sleep. I thought it was quite straight forward offer but didn't say no and went with the flow. We spent lots of time together, he was a wonderfull host and took me everywhere I wanted to go but he never ever made a move on me. Even when we slept in the same bed! Not even touched me or took my hand or show at least some physical interest in me. When we were together he looked shy (or maybe not interested, I don't know) was quiet, looking around, fiddling with his phone or whatever else was withing his reach. He didn't ask any questions about me, neither he went to a huge extend of answering my questions. It was such a dramatic change I was shocked! I tried to talk to him about general things, his family, his life and got very short answers. I tried to look at him and give him some signs that I am interested, lightly touch his face, smile, look into his eyes, he didn't reject it but he gave me almost no or very little responce back. I was so frustrated and confused I couldn't sleep at night. He seemed much more relaxed and happy when his friends were around and was quite chatty on phone with other people. I didn't know what to do and out of frustration I became a little moody at the end, I didn't want to just came up to him and try anything because I was his guest, I was shy and didnt want to intimidate him in case he had no intereste in me at all. Eventially I stoped trying and flew back home with tears in my eyes, althoug I never showed him that. Before I left he was very appologetic about the fact that he was quiet and not the usual self and said I should come again another time when he is better. Well, I don't know him well enough to know what his usual self is like and I could tell he was feeling very unwell but still if he liked me he could show it somehow. Anyway, after my return we had very little communication, I wrote few texts, he replied, he wrote few too, few messges over FB, some a bit flirty, some just freindly. Now he is coming to Dublin and I offered to stay at my place, which he accepted. I don't know how to act. I still really like him, but I am really confused by his behaviour and don't want to get hurt. I can't understand whether he likes me and just shy or he is just being friendly and has no interest in me as more then just a freind. If he is not interested at all, why text and write to me, invite me all the way to his country, put me in his bed next to him for few days and then do nothing??? I don't think if he was shy he would do that either. Please tell me what do you think??? I am thinking to tell him when he comes that I am really attracted to him, but I'm scared that I'll spoil it. Maybe I should wait to see if he is going to try anyting this time himself or you think I stand no chance here?
ilovefreshair Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Sounds like a real piece of work, maybe that's why he's never been married! If you shared a bed with this guy and he didn't make a move on you, something has got to be wrong with this guy or else he is not interested in you. That is just far too strange!!!
Author blue_moon Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 I know it was really strange behavior, do you think he could hold back because he wasn't feeling well? His face was all swollen up and he was taking some strong painkillers at the time for his mumps and feeling weak. He seemed so enthusiastic about my visit before I came and he suggested I slept in his bed, he could easily put me in the living room on the sofa. I am so totally confused with the whole thing. Or why ask me to come at all if you are not interested??? We never were close friends or anything before that, just a colleagues...
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