hp321 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Ok, to make a long story short. My gf of 5 months dumped me 1 month ago (lack of feelings for me) In the beginning we agreed to friends in the long run. I told her that in the beginning I had to be away from her. In a moment of desperation I after 2 weeks told her, that I had a date and that I was fine with everything. After 3 weeks I deleted her from Facebook, because I wouldn't stop looking at her profile. NOW. Yesterday we were both at a party, I talked a bit to her: 1. She told me she had lost respect for me, bacause I deleted her from Facebook. I really feel like crap because she said that. 2. Because of this she probably can't see us as friends in the future. Which sucks, because we go to the same sportsclub, so we are forced to see eachother, and I would eventually like to be her friend. 3. She said that she also have had a sad time after the breakup. But I have to believe that mine has been worse, right? I was doing so good in the last couple of weeks, and now she's made feel like crap again I don't want her back that's for sure, but she's made me feel like a bad human-being!
CaliGuy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Ok, to make a long story short. My gf of 5 months dumped me 1 month ago (lack of feelings for me) 5 months is a short time. In the beginning we agreed to friends in the long run. I told her that in the beginning I had to be away from her. In a moment of desperation I after 2 weeks told her, that I had a date and that I was fine with everything. a: If you love her, you can't be her friend. b: Don't announce you have a date to an ex, this is manipulative and vindictive. After 3 weeks I deleted her from Facebook, because I wouldn't stop looking at her profile. That was the best thing you've done so far. NOW. Yesterday we were both at a party, I talked a bit to her: You should have not talked to her, that said... 1. She told me she had lost respect for me, bacause I deleted her from Facebook. I really feel like crap because she said that. a: Oh BOO HOO to her. What an immature little girl. b: You shouldn't determine your self worth on what SHE thinks of you. This is not a logical or intelligent thing to do. What YOU think of yourself should be the only thing that matters. You did what you had to do just like her dumping you was something she had to do. She needs to grow up and you need to not worry about what she thinks. 2. Because of this she probably can't see us as friends in the future. Which sucks, because we go to the same sportsclub, so we are forced to see eachother, and I would eventually like to be her friend. Why do you want to be her friend? How is that beneficial to either you or her? What can she provide you as a "friend" that none of your other friends can provide? NOTHING is the answer. Let her go. Forget about her as best you can. So what if you see her in the sports club. Smile, say hi and keep walking. 3. She said that she also have had a sad time after the breakup. But I have to believe that mine has been worse, right? Yours is worse because you haven't moved on, she has. That is the difference. Work on letting her go and move on with your life as best you can. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. I was doing so good in the last couple of weeks, and now she's made feel like crap again You are LETTING her make you feel like crap. She can't do that to you if you don't LET her. I don't want her back that's for sure, but she's made me feel like a bad human-being! Question for you amigo. "Why on earth would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" Can you give me a logical reason for chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught by you?
Nuala83 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 hp321, In my opinion she was being completely unreasonable. Yes the break up was worse for you because you were the one who was rejected, not her. I don't doubt that she's hurting too but it's not fair to throw that in your face. Did you explain to her that you deleted her from your facebook because you had to to recover from the break up? You're not a bad person for doing that. She sounds kinda immature to me.
Author hp321 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 5 months is a short time. a: If you love her, you can't be her friend. b: Don't announce you have a date to an ex, this is manipulative and vindictive. That was the best thing you've done so far. You should have not talked to her, that said... a: Oh BOO HOO to her. What an immature little girl. b: You shouldn't determine your self worth on what SHE thinks of you. This is not a logical or intelligent thing to do. What YOU think of yourself should be the only thing that matters. You did what you had to do just like her dumping you was something she had to do. She needs to grow up and you need to not worry about what she thinks. Why do you want to be her friend? How is that beneficial to either you or her? What can she provide you as a "friend" that none of your other friends can provide? NOTHING is the answer. Let her go. Forget about her as best you can. So what if you see her in the sports club. Smile, say hi and keep walking. Yours is worse because you haven't moved on, she has. That is the difference. Work on letting her go and move on with your life as best you can. If it was meant to be, it would have happened. You are LETTING her make you feel like crap. She can't do that to you if you don't LET her. Question for you amigo. "Why on earth would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" Can you give me a logical reason for chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught by you? I am NOT chasing her! I have realised that I 100% do not want her back. But still I feel like crap. I guess it's the grieving that's haunting me. I just feel like a looser, being left behind... In my head I do know that, I can't be too bothered about her opinions and views, but in my heart it still hurts. Why oh why can't that just go away !
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