heartbroken720 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Today was the day I was suppose to be getting married. May 16 2009 I know it is a day late and a whole bottle of wine down! My future mother in law stopped by and I did not want to post but it is 2:37 EST and I cannot sleep I am just so hurt that the man I spent the last 5 1/2 years with could not tell me to my face he was not ready. His mother came to see me today and she told me!!!!! What am I suppose to do I fell like I have been gutted I am so tired of the hurt and I cannot sleep....I tired of drinking and now I am emotional...I am just so hurt!!!! I love him to this day so much....o well hopefully later in the day will be better... I got my wedding dress and I saw it for the first time Mother's day! I am just so hurt I feel like I can't breath!! Why is this happening!! I am so hurt!
boogieboy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 WHy was he not ready? did you pressure him into marriage? did someone else pressure him? Is there money problems? Whats he thinking? Have you noticed any signs of him pulling away in the past year?
sb129 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Hey- boogieboy, ease up on the toughlove for a minute. While it might be appropriate later on, the wound is still really raw and the lady is hurting- with good reason. Some sympathy wouldn't go amiss here. Heartbroken, I am really really sorry to hear this. I don't have any advice- just to say I am sorry, and if the guy is truly this gutless as to break it to you in such a wimpy way, then perhaps you may be better off without him.
Author heartbroken720 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 His mom told me today that he was not ready for a family and kids...I am going to be 28 in July and I wanted to settle down...he told his mom that he was not ready to let go of his freedom yet...I wish he would not have strung me along for this long if he knew...I just want to let go but I feel like he was the one for me...why did she have to see me yesterday...why is this happening! I am so tired of the hurt will it ever go away!?!?!?
sb129 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Yes, it will go away. Time is a wonderful healer, and things DO get better with time. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but he ISN'T the one for you, because if he WAS, you would be married by now. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't meet my husband until I was 29, and we are "settled down" now. So you still have heaps of time!
CaliGuy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Yes, it will go away. Time is a wonderful healer, and things DO get better with time. I disagree. Time doesn't heal wounds. It's what you do WITH that time that determines if you heal and how soon. I know plenty of people who have had ex's leave them over 10 years ago and they are still hurt over it. You gotta learn to LET GO of the past, embrace the future and LIVE LIFE. Time alone won't do that. It's called picking yourself up by the boot straps and moving on with life. Easy to say, hard to do, but essential for healing.
sb129 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Yes, you are right Caliguy, I just didn't articulate that in my post.
CaliGuy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Yes, you are right Caliguy, I just didn't articulate that in my post. Gotcha, SB129. I just wanted to make that clear
Author heartbroken720 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Will do caliguy! I will pick myself up the best I can tomorrow hangover and all...I was shocked to see his mom today it just busted open the wound I was trying to heal...she is a good woman I have nothing but respect for her...she showed up due to the date and she thought I would be at home depressed but I was home cuz it was raining if not I would have been at the beach like I have been since the break up...I have been trying to heal myself but thanks to mother nature and the weather I happen to be here when she showed up....I have nothing against her but it was still hard as hell talking to his mom more than i have talk to him since the break up...know what I mean ? I think I am gonna go to bed and I will prob wake up with a killer hang over but hey the pain of a hang over is nothing like the pain I experianced today or should I say yesterday ...still drunk and hurt but it is about that time to call it a day it is 4:00 am est..and I have a felling I am gonna have a killer hang over (THANKS WINE!!!) but nothin the beach can't help make better!
Lisalisa2 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I'm really sorry to read that. I wonder if some men propose, not because it's what they want, but because they don't want to lose you. In a way, be thankful it happened now and not in another 5 years, like I have just been dealing with. 10 years together, now he's decided I am not the one for him as the pressure was on with all his friends either married or engaged. I was a fool and am now suffering for it bigtime. BIGTIME!
boogieboy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Hey- boogieboy, ease up on the toughlove for a minute. . Hey - SB, dont tell me what to do. Theres plenty of people here who will have sympathy for her. I dont fake it. I just asked questions, theres no tough love there. She knows whe will have to face these questions at some point to prevent this from happening again. She came here to vent, she might as well start now.
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