doar_eu Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I've met this guy at my job (he was a customer of the company that I work for) about 1 1/2 months ago. At that time I was involved in a relationship that wasn't going well at all and I was considering ending it, but this guy didn't know and he asked me out. Before I even accepted to go on a first date I told him my situation and I let him know that I intend to end the relationship I was in, just that I wasn't sure when I will do it. He was impressed with my honesty and wanted even more to see me, so we went on 2 dates. Everything was going great, he was sweet and romantic and trying very hard to please me and treat me good. Then, when he asked for the 3rd date I couldn't see him that day and told him I would see him the next day (on a Sunday). That Sunday he kept pushing our date until I got frustrated and confronted him. I asked him if he's seeing somebody else or maybe he just isn't interested in me anymore, he kept saying it's not that, he's just busy with work (on a Sunday afternoon?). I told him let's get together tomorrow and if you can't make it then never call me again. The next day I called first and asked him if we're still on for our date and asked him to forgive me for being so mad the day before. He accepted my apollogy, and we got together that day but only for 30 minutes, because he said he had to go back to work (at 8 pm). He drove for at least 2 hours to see me for 30 minutes and when he left he said he was already late for a meeting. He said he came because he didn't want me to think that he isn't interested, we were very romantic, kissed and hugged a lot, but he didn't talk much and seemed distant and preoccupied. He took off without setting another date and he never called or texted since. It's been 6 days now and I don't know what to make of it. Is he not into me anymore or just taking things slow? He knows I'm free now, I told him that I'm not in that relationship anymore, so I don't get it... Why did he disappear like that? Should I initiate contact and ask him what's going on? Waiting and not knowing if he will ever call again and not knowing why he lost interest... is just killing me. I really like this guy and I don't want to lose him! So please, anyone, any suggestions? What should I do?
boogieboy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Its way too suspicious. I say give him another week to contact you, but this is not normal behavior, so I would say cut your losses. You might have dodged a bullet. Sounds to me like some other woman is his priority and he likes her more than you. If thats the case you DEF dont want this guy. You dont want to be a rebound.
Author doar_eu Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Thanks for your reply, boogieboy! As much as I hate to admit it, you might be right about this. I also suspect he is interested in another woman, although he told me he wasn't seeing anyone. I just think that a single guy who likes a girl and isn't seeing anybody else would not be out of touch for a week almost without saying one word... I'll give it one more week as you say... but knowing myself... it will be hard not to contact him. I wish I knew what's up with him, at least I would stop wondering if I did something wrong. Thanks & have a nice day!
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 There are other fish in the sea. Ones that would actually show interest. This guy isn't worth your time. Keep yourself busy if you think you'll want to break down and call him. Do you have a good female friend that you could talk to about this? Maybe ask if you can use her as your help. Put HER number under HIS name - get rid of his number altogether. If you feel the urge to call him, dial her up and tell her you had a weak moment. Surely other women would understand what this is like. BTDT. But definitely NO CONTACT on your part. You're pushing for something that simply isn't there.
Author doar_eu Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 "You're pushing for something that simply isn't there." Ouch! It hurts. Thanks SoulSearch_CO, that needed to be said... because I think it's true... he just doesn't like me enough to pick up the phone and ask me out. I sure am extremely busy these days with my job and looking for an apartment, but that would not keep me from calling him. The only thing that would stop me is understanding that he knows how to reach me and if he doesn't do it it's because he doesn't want to. I do have friends but I can't talk to them about this guy... I don't want to look stupid... I just wish I wouldn't feel anything anymore. How do you stop caring?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I just wish I wouldn't feel anything anymore. How do you stop caring? Ah, the eternal question. Time is the only thing that's going to change that. But if you do contact him, you'll only prolong it...on your end, not his.
sugarmomma Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 That takes time. Something happened between the 2nd and 3rd date to turn him off. Next time don't give a guy an ultimatum, they don't like that. If he is not meeting your needs you have to just back off. Do Not Call Him. That would just make him have less respect for you. He is a loser!!
Author doar_eu Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Thank you everyone.... I just got back from a day spent outdoors with a girlfriend and also from a first date with some guy I met online. My friend was great and this guy was so nice but there's no spark and no attraction from my side and all the time I was thinking of the guy I really want to be with. It sucks! I wish I could get him out of my mind and move on... but I guess it will take a while. I'll try to fight the urge to call him. I will get back here and read your advice again and again and hopefully I will get it eventually: HE DOESN'T WANT ME.
ilovefreshair Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I definitely agree. Your gut instinct is telling you that something doesn't make sense, and in this case I think you need to trust it. A guy who wants you and knows you're interested wouldn't leave it this long without contacting you. Trust me I know what it's to be caught up on someone who just isn't that into you, and the best thing is to keep busy, live your life and before you know it you'll have forgotten about them!
Author doar_eu Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Your gut instinct is telling you that something doesn't make sense, and in this case I think you need to trust it. I had a bad feeling about it even before our 3rd date, because we were supposed to get together on Thursday and he didn't call until Saturday... but I was trying to make excuses for him not calling when he said he would. You know the rest of the story... I guess my insticts were good but I didn't want to hear the message they were sending me.
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