Stockalone Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I LIKE these games I play. Maybe at heart I am just a player? I like to dramatize about my vulnerable sides to claim it IS love I'm looking for, but at my core I'm not even sure I believe in love in he first place. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not cut out to be a housewife anyway. You are a bit like a phoenix. When your insane side seems to be slowing down, you inevitably step it up a notch and then burn fiercely in a sea of flames (drama). Then you retreat back into your shell to be reborn and repeat the cycle. It's quite a spectacle for the outside observer, I'll give you that. But I can't believe it's actually good for you. I wish you luck and hope you find what you are looking for.
sb129 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Fair enough (for now). I'd still recommend you rethink that policy sometime before turning 30 , thank me later . You remind me of my ex a bit. She's 32, still addicted to the drama, still finding new ways to introduce chaos in her life . whew. So glad I left all that behind in my 20s. I get tired just thinking about it now! Spookie, I think you need an interest outside of work, outside of partying and outside of studying. Is there anything you can think of that you could do? Then at least you won't freak out if you have a weekend on your own with "nothing" to do. Outside interests are good for meeting people too.
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 whew. So glad I left all that behind in my 20s. I get tired just thinking about it now! Spookie, I think you need an interest outside of work, outside of partying and outside of studying. Is there anything you can think of that you could do? Then at least you won't freak out if you have a weekend on your own with "nothing" to do. Outside interests are good for meeting people too. Yah. It's pretty obvious that I need some friends. Things will improve when I move to the city. Back in my shell, I'm already writing a to-do list of all the crap I want to get done before the next exam season. Studying for this last exam took all my free time, which I liked, but which also made me aware of how I should better manage my time. I'm not sure my insane side is going away anytime soon. To be honest, it's always been there, as far back as the 6th grade, consistently making its little appearances. The only time it faded for good is when I was with Wesley (though he would probably testify otherwise... according to him I was way too much crazy for any one man). Somehow loving him kept me in check. I long for something similar that will propel me to change, but today I'm kind of thinking maybe it's a long battle I'm fighting and I should just learn to channel the crazy into destructive outlets. Try acting or something. Anyways. Just a couple more months now. Things will be better when I move to the city. Incidentally, Rylan has stopped speaking to me.
Land Shark Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Yah. It's pretty obvious that I need some friends. I'll be your friend. I like how you treat your friends.
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 I'll be your friend. I like how you treat your friends. What is that supposed to mean? Who are my friends who I'm allegedly mistreating? WTF?
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 You cuddle with them. Ok, smartsas, did you not read the story? Graham and I are not friends.
Cherished Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Maybe I'm wrong but he's saying you f**k your friends (guy friends.) Still an insult. What is that supposed to mean? Who are my friends who I'm allegedly mistreating? WTF?
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Maybe I'm wrong but he's saying you f**k your friends (guy friends.) Still an insult. I don't fcvk my friends tho.
Land Shark Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Oh. Well then I take it back. I did read it. You didn't mention whether you were or weren't friends. You just said where he worked, and I guessed you already knew him. He digs you. He just didn't know what to do with your mixed messages.
dreamergrl Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Did I miss it it somewhere, did you hear from the guy?
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Oh. Well then I take it back. I did read it. You didn't mention whether you were or weren't friends. You just said where he worked, and I guessed you already knew him. He digs you. He just didn't know what to do with your mixed messages. How do you figure he digs me? I didn't already know him. I knew who he was, but we'd never said anything to each other until last night.
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Did I miss it it somewhere, did you hear from the guy? No. I did not. I'm guessing I'll know the verdict tomorrow.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I feel sorry for this guy if he gets too close to you
Land Shark Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 He didn't get rude or leave or ask you to leave when you freaked out. And he was good to you the next day. Sounds like a pretty good guy. Hard to say though at this point. After you've been dating for a few months we'll know for sure. You're too self-critical. Ponimayet?
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 He didn't get rude or leave or ask you to leave when you freaked out. And he was good to you the next day. Sounds like a pretty good guy. Hard to say though at this point. After you've been dating for a few months we'll know for sure. You're too self-critical. Ponimayet? Da. That's true. He was really nice all the next day. But being a good guy doens't mean he is interested. In my case it probably means the reverse. He didn't try to get me to stay and hang out with him longer. (But I know he had plans.) He didn't get my number. (But his friend was in the car, and if he wants he can see me on monday.) At the coffee shop, though he paid for my drink, he didn't try to get a table and make it seem date-like. (But we did take a walk. And it was a beautiful day.) Pros, cons. How do people ever know? The strongest vibe I got from him was that I was blowing his mind. I think he'd had me pegged as boring, but in his words, I was "pretty cool". I think he was surprised I was interested. On several occasions he made references to my being "really good-looking." But who knows. I'm pretty terrible at reading people.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Da. That's true. He was really nice all the next day. But being a good guy doens't mean he is interested. In my case it probably means the reverse. He didn't try to get me to stay and hang out with him longer. (But I know he had plans.) He didn't get my number. (But his friend was in the car, and if he wants he can see me on monday.) At the coffee shop, though he paid for my drink, he didn't try to get a table and make it seem date-like. (But we did take a walk. And it was a beautiful day.) Pros, cons. How do people ever know? The strongest vibe I got from him was that I was blowing his mind. I think he'd had me pegged as boring, but in his words, I was "pretty cool". I think he was surprised I was interested. On several occasions he made references to my being "really good-looking." But who knows. I'm pretty terrible at reading people. Likewise with me. I had my guy made small talk in the morning, take me out to breakfast, and a hug goodbye ( no kiss). Still no idea if he's interested or not. And it's happened 4 times already.
Land Shark Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Try to forget about how he feels. He's responsible for that. It's not your problem if he's not interested. And there's not much chance of you accurately reading whatever signals he gave or will give will give. You should just do what makes the most sense to you. If you feel like seeing him again, then get in touch with him and have a chat. Don't be afraid of rejection. I predict you won't be rejected.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 He probably got freaked out to find you were a guy living in Arizona
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Likewise with me. I had my guy made small talk in the morning, take me out to breakfast, and a hug goodbye ( no kiss). Still no idea if he's interested or not. And it's happened 4 times already. If it happened four times to me, I'd think he was interested. This is off-topic, but I've read the beginnings at least of most of your threads, and I don't really understand where everyone gets that yours is after only a booty call. I think you're insecure, and he is bad at communicaton and probably is nto ready to marry you, but he's interested, for sure.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 If it happened four times to me, I'd think he was interested. This is off-topic, but I've read the beginnings at least of most of your threads, and I don't really understand where everyone gets that yours is after only a booty call. I think you're insecure, and he is bad at communicaton and probably is nto ready to marry you, but he's interested, for sure. Sorry to go off topic, but what makes you say that for sure? nvm. I don't want to threadjack.
Author spookie Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 Sorry to go off topic, but what makes you say that for sure? The fact that he keeps coming back for more.
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