Juno Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 We both basically agreed to brake things off and be friends because we both felt like the other had lost feelings/interest in a relationship. I thought it was the best thing to do because I didn't want our friendship to turn into a fwb thing. So we go the route of nc for a few weeks to solidify the fact that we are no longer a couple. Fine. Weeks past and I text him to say hi, what's up, how are you doing. Didn't think this would be an issue because we both agreed to be friends. I get no reply from him. Did I miss something? Could it be he didn't want a relationship or friendship and only wanted sex? Could it be he really wanted a relationship, and is hurt or feels rejected? Why wouldn't he respond? There was no drama when we reached this decision.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 One of two things: he is so devastated by your absence that to respond would break his heart even more.... or - He couldn't really care a lot, because he is over it. Try again tomorrow.
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Dont try again. YOu were supposed to go NC, stay NC. You dont need to know how it is when you broke it off. You should move on, and you should let him move on. If he wants a gf, Theres nothing worse than someone who doesnt want to be your gf texting you about nothing. Leave him be, let him contact you if he wants to. Matter of fact you shouldnt be texting him unless you want to get back together. Otherwise, he probably doesnt want to hear from you. He will probably take your how are you as the wrong signals. If he is hoping for some sort of reconciliation, youre sending the wrong message. if he thinks you want one, and he doesnt, youre still sending the wrong message. You dont need to contact him.
Author Juno Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Dont try again. YOu were supposed to go NC, stay NC. You dont need to know how it is when you broke it off. You should move on, and you should let him move on. If he wants a gf, Theres nothing worse than someone who doesnt want to be your gf texting you about nothing. Leave him be, let him contact you if he wants to. Matter of fact you shouldnt be texting him unless you want to get back together. Otherwise, he probably doesnt want to hear from you. He will probably take your how are you as the wrong signals. If he is hoping for some sort of reconciliation, youre sending the wrong message. if he thinks you want one, and he doesnt, youre still sending the wrong message. You dont need to contact him. I get what you are saying, but it wasn't me who broke it off. It was a discussion and we mutually agreed to just be friends. If he felt he didn't want to have any additional contact, he could have said as much instead of agreeing to be friends. That's the thing I hate so much, when a person says one thing, then act a complete opposite way. I wasn't angry when we split, but I am angry over this.
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Have you ever broken it off with a bf, maybe said "lets take a break", but you knew you had someone else you wanted to date? And didnt tell the guy? And be honest!
Chinook Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 "let's just stay friends" is the phrase we use to soften the breakup blow. He's not replying, quite simply because... he doesn't want to. Just let it be and move on in your own way. If you're meant to be friends it will work out that way without any drama or emotional baggage from either of you. I wouldn't bank on it though.
Lisalisa2 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 People say the friends thing because they can't bear the thought of not being in each others lives. Then the dust settles and most people realise it just can't happen.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 ...Why do girls want to remain friends with the boy after they break up with them? You think it's easy to do so? I'd tell you this much I'd be a jerk of a friend screwing everything in sight and let it be known. lol. I'd treat her like one of my guy friends after. Or I'd be very hurt and wouldnt want to be her friend anyway. Friends dont hurt one another, We could be cool but never close friends again like that. it might take some time to mend the hurt but that's it.
Author Juno Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 He responds back to me today after I ask him return something I left at his house. Small chit chat, then he begins to forward pics of himself jerking off (sorry to be so crude). I ask if he does this with all of his friends. He says, you know the effect you have on me. I will stop only if you ask me to. He never does. What in the world is he thinking. Why would anyone do this? Why can't he be normal?
boogieboy Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 You know what? If he is hurt, he's doing that to torpedo your relationship. Either he has the wrong idea and he thinks you are trying to rekindle things, or he's doing it to disgust you into stop texting him. I guess he doesnt want to say straight up "leave me alone". That sounds like something i would have done in high school out of anger. You wanna leave him alone now?
Author Juno Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 You know what? If he is hurt, he's doing that to torpedo your relationship. Either he has the wrong idea and he thinks you are trying to rekindle things, or he's doing it to disgust you into stop texting him. I guess he doesnt want to say straight up "leave me alone". That sounds like something i would have done in high school out of anger. You wanna leave him alone now? You bet I want to leave him alone. I don't get it. I don't understand his behavior. Our conversation was fine, normal, and joking. I must be naive and not fully comprehend the complexity of ones emotions during a breakup. I am not a malicious person. I am kind and caring and avoid inflicting pain on others. I don't deserve this treatment.
americanflyer Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 You both felt that there was no longer any interesrt in each other. Men don't keep former girlfiends who they have slept with as friends. We move on to the next woman we are going to sleep with. Get real move on, he has.
Author Juno Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 First off - I have not contacted him since the last incident. My initial reaction was that of disgust, but now weeks later it has worn off. Secondly - I miss that whacky guy like crazy. This past few weeks have been horrible. I'm so depressed. I sleep all day, stay up all night and repeat the cycle again the next day. I am unable to function. He has not attempted to contact me either sinces his last stunt, which still has me wondering why did he do it. People, I don't know what to do. Seems I can't move on no matter how I try. Everything I do, I consider how it would affect us potentially getting back together, even though realistically I know we are never getting back together. Side note, he still have not returned my property. I need to move on, but I don't know how. I've been dealing with this broken heart for over a year. Holding out hope he will come back to me I guess. Please any words of advice. Please be kind, as I'm in a fragile state of mind. Thank you.
banser123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 it sounds like you really want to get back with him even thought you say it will never happen. If that is the case then call him and ask him to talk. Try it out again and see what happens. Did he do anything bad to you when you were together? why did you decide to just be friends? If you think you guys can talk in a mature fashion and work things out then try, if not then continue to nc him and find another guy
hijack Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Hey! I just had a similar thing happen to me. Everything was completely perfect with me and my gf till one day BAM she cheats on me and I broke up with her. We were still basically going out for like 2 weeks then she blew up on me over facebook chat and said I'm annoying and she doesn't want to talk to me. I'm the hurt one and it seems like she should be the one feeling bad!! ** end rant Anyway, a suggestion is to try and go out with your friends and meet new people as much as possible. Or if you have any hobbies or anything you like to do. Anything to take your mind off it. I've been sitting here today because my friends are out of town an dI'm going crazy. I can't stress how much better you feel when you go and hang out with people. As far as getting him back... I'm as unsure about my own situation as I am about yours. People are weird sometimes and choose to do really rash things. I say just try not to contact him and see what happens. In the meantime just do anything to keep your mind off it! Sometimes I can't help it though and I send her a txt or something, to which of course she doesn't respond. I'm still keeping it open though in case she does decide to come back. However at the same time I'm out and about trying to meet new people. IT SUCKS not being able to talk to them to see how they are feeling
Author Juno Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 it sounds like you really want to get back with him even thought you say it will never happen. If that is the case then call him and ask him to talk. Try it out again and see what happens. Did he do anything bad to you when you were together? why did you decide to just be friends? If you think you guys can talk in a mature fashion and work things out then try, if not then continue to nc him and find another guy I'm afraid to call him and make the first move. I fear he will tell me he's seeing someone new now. I would be devastated to hear this from him. I find comfort in thinking/imagaging he's in the same tormented state as I. This suxs so bad. I have no motivation to do anything for myself, but for him I would do anything.
banser123 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 I totally understand. I posted a thread called "deeply hurt" If you read it you will see why I am devestated, it might even make your situation look promising. I would call him, the longer you wait the harder it will be. If he does tell you he is seeing someone it will hurt but at least you will have an answer and be able to move on from there. but you never know, maybe it will work out,
Recommended Posts