bac Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I have recently come across an adult site. There are many young handsome men available. Some people look normal because they have normal pictures and profiles. Anyway my common sense tells me that they can be somehow dangerous. Of course, they can have STDs and it is clear about them. Another thing, I guess many of them have mental problems and who knows how crazy and aggressive they can be. Being a female, I can not imagine that any mentally normal person may post his/her nude picture in the profile on the internet. May be men see that differently. Any suggestions about meeting men from adult sites? What kind of men is more dangerous there in 20s or in 40s? Is there any chance to meet there a nice normal guy for one-night stand or more?
amymarieca Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I have met people before for sexual relationships off dating sites. A lot of people on those sites are usually pretty normal. It is just another way people can try to get laid. I don't really see how it is any different than meeting someone at a bar and sleeping with them quickly. If people are going to be serial rapists they can do it anywhere. That is just the chance you take. I must say though that sometimes when you show even the slightest interest in a guy, he may think that it is a given that you are going to sleep with him. Sometimes they get frustrated and say you are all talk. I avoided the men like that because they were just desperate. I am not really sure about the age vs. being dangerous. I guess it just depends on the person. If you choose to meet up with someone just remember the following things: always meet in a public place, get to know their personality a little before sleeping with them, never let them drive you anywhere, let someone know where you will be, never put yourself in a situation that could end up dangerous, and always always use a condom! If the guy does something that rubs you the wrong way, or you just have a bad feeling, just leave. You don't owe them anything! Good luck!
Lizzie60 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I have recently come across an adult site. There are many young handsome men available. Some people look normal because they have normal pictures and profiles. Anyway my common sense tells me that they can be somehow dangerous. Of course, they can have STDs and it is clear about them. Another thing, I guess many of them have mental problems and who knows how crazy and aggressive they can be. Being a female, I can not imagine that any mentally normal person may post his/her nude picture in the profile on the internet. May be men see that differently. Any suggestions about meeting men from adult sites? What kind of men is more dangerous there in 20s or in 40s? Is there any chance to meet there a nice normal guy for one-night stand or more? bac.. I cannot believe this... in your other thread you said you were in your 40s... my-my... you sound more like you're in your teens.. I cannot believe what I'm reading here.. Some people look normal because they have normal pictures and profiles they can be somehow dangerous they can have STDs and it is clear about them I guess many of them have mental problems and who knows how crazy and aggressive they can be I can not imagine that any mentally normal person may post his/her nude picture in the profile on the internet. My advice.. stay out of these sites.. it's definitely NOT for you..
missmich Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 When you say adult site,do you mean something like adultfinder that's for sexual encounters only or the regular dating sites? Anyone you meet from any type of site can have an STD,be crazy or dangerous. You really just need to be clear about what you want and who you want to meet and use your intuition and common sense when meeting someone.
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Anyone you meet from any type of site can have an STD,be crazy or dangerous. ..... any site, any bar, any place... I've never used or met anyone from an adult site but it is just another way to meet people.. there are all kinds of people out there and sites like AFF have their purpose.. I will say this.. even sites like match have people just looking for sex on them.. It is easy to find a woman on match to just have sex with..
Author bac Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 bac.. I cannot believe this... in your other thread you said you were in your 40s... my-my... you sound more like you're in your teens.. I cannot believe what I'm reading here.. my advice.. stay out of these sites.. it's definitely NOT for you.. Thank you. Do you speak from experience or from your common sense? Do you mean that it is dangerous? What is wrong with me that it is not for me?
missmich Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 What do you mean by "they can have STD's and it is clear about them"?
somedude81 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Sigh, since you are a woman you could go online right now and find someone to have sex with tonight. All you got to do is have a little common sense and screen the person and you should be fine.
missmich Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 How do you really screen someone though? I mean you can ask all the right questions and the person can give all the right answers and not be telling the truth or he could be telling the truth,but could still be a dangerous person. I'd just be really careful.
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 How do you really screen someone though? I mean you can ask all the right questions and the person can give all the right answers and not be telling the truth or he could be telling the truth,but could still be a dangerous person. I'd just be really careful. The same can happen by meeting anyone anywhere, not just adult online sites. Your neighbor that has been eying you and finally asks you out for coffe could have std's and be a freak too.. I think the best screening while dating can be done with common sense and questions that are important to you and use you intuition or gut sense too.. the gut never lies.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I've used AFF in the past. 2 out of the 4 that I met in person, I actually ended up having a decent amount of chemistry with. Just don't give out your home phone number (they can do a reverse lookup and find your home address), don't let them see where you live, don't give out your address...NO MATTER WHAT. If you're really worried about it, I'd also consider making up a separate email address just for that purpose. Also - when you go for that first meet, make sure SOMEBODY in your life knows that you're going to meet up with somebody - where you'll be, what time you expect to be back home, and then call them to let them know you're safe. You don't have to tell them the PURPOSE of said meeting - make something up. Meet somewhere REALLY PUBLIC and well-lit. Daytime is best since there are still people out and about. If you want to be really paranoid and are worried they could follow your car, or trace your info somehow with your plates - take public transportation. Make sure you get a look at THEIR car so you know if they follow you. Other than that, I hope you can read people well - so you can decide if it's safe to go into private with them. If your instincts are usually right about people, then you should be okay. And yes - definitely glove it up.
Author bac Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 I've used AFF in the past. 2 out of the 4 that I met in person, I actually ended up having a decent amount of chemistry with. Just don't give out your home phone number (they can do a reverse lookup and find your home address), don't let them see where you live, don't give out your address...NO MATTER WHAT. Thank you. Do you mean that it can be safe? It is good news. Why is it so dangerous to let him know my address? I have invited men from the non-adult sites to my place and it was totally safe. Actually, the guy, I want to meet, lives in dorm so I have no choice to invite him to my place. It was my plan. Could you please explain me what kind of things could happen if he knows my address? What does AFF stands for?
JeezLouise Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Why is it so hard to get to know someone for a week or so (gosh, a month even??) before you HAVE to have sex with them? The thought of having sex with a stranger who is advertising for sex is just repulsive for me. And trust me - I love sex, and I love having it! But I am fully capable of restraining my passion for it until I feel reasonably sure that I am going to be safe. Going into a hotel room with a man that I don't know - and who is stronger, bigger and possibly willing to hurt me to get what he wants? No way, Jose. My college roommate's sister was found murdered in a bathtub in a hotel in Charlotte, NC, about 20 years ago; as of 6 years ago, it was unsolved. That is NOT how I plan on ending up my life - for a piece of strange. Can't you just meet someone and go on a few dates with him, before the compulsion to have sex sets in?
missmich Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 AFF is for Adult Friend Finder. It's a site adults use to find other adults for sex. I can not believe that you asked what kind of things could happen if a strange man knows your address. Um...let's see he could stalk you,break in,rape you,rob your home,kill you....you know bad stuff. In the past I've made the mistake of having men pick me up at my home for a date even though I'd never met them before in person,just on a telephone chat line. Luckily nothing terrible ever happened to me. I was lucky but not everyone is. It's really best to use a separate e-mail address and user name that can't identify you in real life or on other forums you may use. Why? he can google that name and find you on LS or any other forum you use and get a better idea of who you are and maybe where you live or hang out.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Youre in your forties and youre picking up a boy who lives in a dorm? Classy...
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Thank you. Do you mean that it can be safe? It is good news. Why is it so dangerous to let him know my address? I have invited men from the non-adult sites to my place and it was totally safe. Actually, the guy, I want to meet, lives in dorm so I have no choice to invite him to my place. It was my plan. Could you please explain me what kind of things could happen if he knows my address? What does AFF stands for? Yes, it can be safe if you take proper precautions. I would NEVER give out my home address to a stranger from the internet. Never, ever, ever. Ask any law enforcement person what they think about that and I'm sure they have stories out the rear of bad things happening from that. I could make out a whole list: 1. What if you meet a guy online, he seems cool, you give him your address. He comes over, turns out he is a total loser. You try and get him to go away, but he then begins to stalk your house - driving by at odd times, happening to be in the neighborhood, sitting outside your house in his car, taking revenge on your house with vandalism, sabotaging any future romance, following you around, knowing exactly when you get home and when you leave, harassing anybody/everybody that comes to your home. 2. You meet a guy online, he comes to your house. He turns out to be really twisted and into things in a sexual manner that you are NOT into. He decides to rape you and then cut you into little pieces. 3. Guy comes over that you met online, wasn't even really interested in sex. Just your average garden-variety serial killer. Are you kidding? The list could go on and on of things that could go wrong. They could target you, or any family or friends that come over to your house. Your home is your safe place. It's best to keep it that way. If I had an ongoing FWB and had been with the guy several times, I would only *start* to CONSIDER letting him come over to my house. Until then - nothing wrong with a hotel room. I would never go to meet a guy at his house, either. You need to make sure that the real-life persona matches up with what they've been saying online before you get cozy at either person's house. AFF = Adult Friend Finder
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