t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I drunkenly broke NC last night and showed up at my ex's apartment unannounced and knocked on his door, with no response. Then this morning I wake up with a text telling me NEVER to knock on his window again, and his myspace said, "I can't wait to move so I don't have stupid drunk people banging on my doors." I'm pissed I did that to myself. I'm so embarrassed!!!!! To make matters worse, I responded to the text he sent me this morning and said a whole bunch of crap, and then asked if he wanted me out of his life forever? He said yes and to stop texting him. So be it. But myyyyyy goodness that hurts. Seriously, how can he turn of his feelings for me and become a complete ASS? He knows he is hurting me, so WHY does he have to be SOOOO mean about it???? SO MEAN! I don't get why he acts like he hates me, when he's the one who hurt me! How does that happen? Do you think he really hates me? We were together for over two years and suddenly I mean as much as dirt does to him. I can't believe he said he wants me out of his life forever when a month ago he was saying he couldn't cut me out of it.
trustydusty Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 i also drunkenly broke NC last night, (just recently broke up), i called her and started telling her all of the reasons that our relationship went wrong...very stupid of me. NC is really the best way to move on, i know it hurts...just hang in there...
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 i also drunkenly broke NC last night, (just recently broke up), i called her and started telling her all of the reasons that our relationship went wrong...very stupid of me. NC is really the best way to move on, i know it hurts...just hang in there... Wow, your ex actually picked up? I haven't tried calling, but I know mine never would answer. He literally acts like he hates me, and I can't understand that. I've never known him to be this crude. Oh well, time to restart NC. I was on day 25 and I ruined it AND gave him the satisfaction of knowing I'm upset about all this, without actually saying those words. So mad at myself.
webmuse Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 don't be so hard on yourself.. just learn from this. Next time you'll think twice about breaking contact because you know it's only gonna embarass you, hurt you.. and give your ex satisfaction. And stay away from facebook & myspace!
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I drunkenly broke NC last night and showed up at my ex's apartment unannounced and knocked on his door, with no response. Then this morning I wake up with a text telling me NEVER to knock on his window again, and his myspace said, "I can't wait to move so I don't have stupid drunk people banging on my doors." I'm pissed I did that to myself. I'm so embarrassed!!!!! To make matters worse, I responded to the text he sent me this morning and said a whole bunch of crap, and then asked if he wanted me out of his life forever? He said yes and to stop texting him. So be it. But myyyyyy goodness that hurts. Seriously, how can he turn of his feelings for me and become a complete ASS? He knows he is hurting me, so WHY does he have to be SOOOO mean about it???? SO MEAN! I don't get why he acts like he hates me, when he's the one who hurt me! How does that happen? Do you think he really hates me? We were together for over two years and suddenly I mean as much as dirt does to him. I can't believe he said he wants me out of his life forever when a month ago he was saying he couldn't cut me out of it. Tori, that was a wake up call. You're like a fly buzzing around him. be happy he gave you the medicine straight up. Whatever reason he lost his feelings for you, he didnt just turn them off, theyve been gone for a while. He's mean because he needs to be mean to get the point to you. What other way would you expect him to tell you to leave him alone that would get through to you? Move on with your life and stop being so needy. He wants you to move on. You bring this ultra neediness to your next relationship and you'll torpedo it for sure. Go find yourself so you can see your situation from a different view, and so you can realize what mistakes you're making.
SilverLining Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Tori, I disagree that you are super needy. I think that you are dealing with a heartbreak and are in panic mode. I totally get it. I do agree that unfortunately your ex probably lost his feelings for you awhile ago. The same thing is happening to me right now and it super sucks. The good news is that your ex is full of **** - you are totally lovable and probably an amazing person. He's being mean to you right now because he's a loser and it's the easiest way for him to get you to leave him alone. He won't take the time to be kind because when the chips are down, he isn't really that awesome of a person. But guess what - this is great for you, because this should make it that much easier to get over him! You don't need to be treated that way by anyone, and certainly not someone who a month before 'didn't want to cut you out of his life'! You didn't kill anyone, you didn't kick a baby, so don't beat yourself up about breaking NC. It happens to the best of us. Just restart NC again from the beginning and use the experience to help you when you feel weak. And the best of luck to you!!!
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 You are not seriously blaming the alcohol, are you....? _/l\_
westernxer Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Seriously, how can he turn of his feelings for me and become a complete ASS? Because you're psycho. LOL
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Has a guy ever pursued you before that wouldn't go away ?.. How did you feel ? Well ?... that is what you are doing to him at this point..
nature Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 He's just in defensive mode. I've had guys I've broken up with turn up at my house unannounced. And I wasn't exactly kind to them, because it freaked me out. I said basically the same things to them as your ex said to you. Just to drive the point home to them that I didn't appreciate them showing up at my house like that. It scared me. It it a very powerful thing to show up at someone's house anannounced. The automatic reaction for someone having this done to them is to be defensive and angry. I've never been a drunk dialer or drive byer, or stop byer. But I've watched friends do it to their exes. And it always ends in hurt for the one doing it. It's an act of desperation. And the person having it done to them senses this, so their shoulders go up, their defenses go up and they react angrily. As I said, I've had it done to me, and I reacted angrily and said "leave me alone". How can you expect someone to react? Don't beat yourself up. I forgave the guys in the future and knew they were just hurting. I'm even on friendly terms with some of them now. But I never got back together with any of them. You have to realize, that people (men and women) don't like to be chased. It's like being cornered. We are all just animals, and no animal likes to be backed in to a corner. Your best chance with this guy is not to react back in anger to him. It is to say you are sorry and own up to your behaviour. Own it. Tell him you've had a hard time with the break up, your heart is broken, and you know you are not behaving well or handling it well. He will respect that a lot more than lashing back at him. Then stay away. As hard as it is, leave him alone. Think to yourself, if he doesn't want me, then why am I chasing him. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? Would you put up with others who treated you that way? Would you put up with a friend who treated you that way? Would you show up at a friends house who had told you they didn't want to be friends with you anymore? Would you keep chasing them down? I doubt it. You'd count your losses, as much as it hurt and as sad as it was. Well it's the same thing for a relationship. You can't chase someone down. You can't convince someone to want to be with you. They have to want it from inside themselves. And the only way to allow that is to leave him alone. If he wants you, he knows where you are. Chasing him will only push him away further. Remember, caged animal. Nobody likes to feel trapped.
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 You are not seriously blaming the alcohol, are you....? _/l\_ I blame myself, but my DRUNK self. I'm pretty positive I have more sense sober to not go knocking on his door than I apparently did drunk. LESSON LEARNED, that's for sure. You guys are right. I guess it is better that he's being an ass, because it makes it easier to walk away than him being kind about it. And his feelings probably did change awhile before he ended things. But after dumping me he came back three weeks later, wanting to be on a break instead. We discussed everything that went wrong in our relationship and he said he'd make a true attempt at working on the issues he brought to our relationship because he didn't want me gone forever. He told me he wouldn't "mind if I got pregnant," said he could only see himself marrying me but didn't want a relationship at that point, blah blah blah. Only for him to end things AGAIN almost a month ago because I got upset that he was making me leave his apartment because two girls were coming over. And I lasted NC till yesterday. I wish he would've let me go the first time he ended it. Why did he come back acting genuine about wanting to work things out eventually????? Regardless, this relationship taught me a lot. I am in the process of finding myself again, but I am well aware of what issues I brought to the table and what mistakes I made. He's really not that great of a guy in any sense, so I just need to get over it.
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Because you're psycho. LOL Ya, apparently huh?
westernxer Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Regardless, this relationship taught me a lot. I am in the process of finding myself again, but I am well aware of what issues I brought to the table and what mistakes I made. He's really not that great of a guy in any sense, so I just need to get over it. He's not a "nice guy," I assume.
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Has a guy ever pursued you before that wouldn't go away ?.. How did you feel ? Well ?... that is what you are doing to him at this point.. Honestly, I haven't pursued him whatsoever since he dumped me (either time!) till last night. But I get it. It's not cute or flattering, it's irritating and makes myself look dumb! Understood.
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 He's not a "nice guy," I assume. Used to be till he got a little ego boost. I'm talking from every aspect, he's not someone I should be hung up on.
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 It's not cute or flattering, it's irritating and makes myself look dumb! Understood. Success..... Next .....
Author t0ri Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Nature, you're right. What you say makes total sense. And I did apologize when he text me this morning. I owned up to what I did and apologized. Throughout this entire breakup period, I've never once said anything rude to him. I've been kind and respected him. Now I'll respect him some more and seriously stay away. I feel like lashing out, but I won't. I feel so dumb now, and a little psycho. That was a bold, retarded move of me.
cabarc1 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I don't know what to think. I was NEVER mean to my ex when i broke his heart. He was always sending me texts, asking me when i stopped loving him (which was never the case), and sometimes they were a little mean, but i knew he was in terrible pain and i was never mean nor ignored him. When the roles were reversed and he broke my heart, he was a little cold when i stopped by his house all the time and calling him. But he never ignored me or was ever mean to me. He understood that i was hurting. I think 2 years is a long time and i can't believe someone who spent such a long time with you could treat u that bad. I feel like he is being kinda insensitive. I mean yeah, you shouldn't be showing up at his place drunk and contacting him can be irritating but to be that mean?? Wait till some girl crushes his heart and lets see how he acts.........
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