likestolaugh Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 my girlfriend of 5 months is going through pms right now... it causes her to get really down... to feel depressed (and also edgy of course). 2 days ago she was really happy... then suddenly yesterday her pms kicks in and she starts to question things.. you know: "what is love?"... "why are 2 people supposed to be together?"... etc... for the past few weeks especially... things have been going amazingly well for us... a deeper connection has evolved... she's told me she feels this too. We're having a great time together. I've noticed that she always gets depressed and down during her pms... at first I thought it was me having done something wrong, but she tells me it isn't. I do my best to comfort her through it though... she's a naturally happy person, which is why her depression is all the more difficult. (and before anyone says grow up... I have dealt with women and pms before... but just not these kinds of symptoms, which is why I'm posting) I guess I'm wondering if it's normal for some women to question the relationship during their pms cycles? I've only experienced extreme edginess with other women, not this. I suppose there's a good chance that this will all just pass and she'll be fine in a few days... And I know every woman is different...
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Age please? Heck, my wife would question our M when she got hungry, so I got no advice for you
Author likestolaugh Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 lol.. anyway, she's 26, I'm 24. it's the girl I talked about in a thread a long time ago... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t172701/ not that that situation is of any real relevance now though. I don't know... I guess I feel like I could start falling for her... and she was confirming my feelings in her own a few days ago when we talked. Then last night this happens... I'm really hoping it's just the pms lol... (as I said I've experienced edgy/angry girls during pms, but not this)
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 The best thing to remember is she can't control the feelings that come with PMS, but she can control her behavior and she can do things, if PMS is at work here, to minimize the impact. One example would be cutting out caffeine, if that affects her negatively. No coffee or caffeinated sodas.
Author likestolaugh Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 I think she'd die if she didn't have her morning coffee though lol. She gets tired easily (just generally), and seems to need the kick it provides (unfortunately). I knew someone that used birth control to minimize her pms... I wonder if I should bring this up with my gf... (I'll wait a few days obviously)
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Age please? Heck, my wife would question our M when she got hungry, so I got no advice for you Man you just made me cry laughing!
dreamergrl Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I think that these are feelings that are in fact there, but more intense when pms comes around.
Author likestolaugh Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 she says she's really really happy though.... except for her mood the past day or so. I know her well enough to know that she's not just "saying things"... she's probably the most honest person I've ever met. EDIT: SHe just sent me a text thanking me for being so good to her... maybe that means something..
dreamergrl Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 A person can be happy and still have various thoughts, feelings, and ideas. PMS doesn't just make thoughts appear, the thoughts are there, then when the hormones kick in, it all gets enhanced.
loveslife Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I think you should have a good talk with her about this, but obviously wait a few days. Hormones can make a person craaaazy. Sometimes I have convinced myself of something during PMS only to think, what the heck was I thinking, once the PMS was done. That said, there might be some doubts or misgivings on her part. Who knows what that's about. It could be her insecurities coming out or it could be something she's unhappy about. Or it could be something else. Talk to her when she's "back to normal."
AlektraClementine Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Just an FYI - BC made me insane. Absolutely insane. Like PMS all month long times 100. The only thing BC pills did was make my period shorter and got the timing of my cycle down to a science. It did NOT regulate my hormones emotionally. Careful with that stuff:bunny:
JustLooking123 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Maybe she has PMDD. There are treatments for it; she should discuss it with her doctor. It's not normal to turn into a completely different person and question your relationship with every single monthly period. Neither of you should have to deal with that.
stepka Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 It sounds like your relationship is moving up to the next level which brings a lot of insecurities with it, for both partners. PMS will intensify those insecurities and may cause her to say something she will regret later--I should know, I just broke it off w/ someone nice while PMSing b/c I'm so insecure about the relationship. So yes, it probably is that.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I think I get a little introspective, but can also get really depressed when I have PMS. If I know I'm having PMS, I tell myself that I'm not allowed to make any big decisions, or I'll probably regret it later. It's not exactly my most rational moment.
missmich Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I think I get a little introspective, but can also get really depressed when I have PMS. If I know I'm having PMS, I tell myself that I'm not allowed to make any big decisions, or I'll probably regret it later. It's not exactly my most rational moment. This is something that I'm having to do right now. I'm feeling like hell today and keep thinking the guy I'm dating doesn't like me anymore since he hasn't called yesterday or today,though yesterday we did chat a little on facebook. I know I'm just feeling super insecure b/c I've got PMS,well I've had my period for 12 days now! I have to keep reminding myself that nothing is wrong at all and it's just my crazy hormones.
zilverenvlinder Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 All women are different. My sister becomes a total bitch when she has PMS, my mom becomes psychotically unstable, and I become totally insecure and needy. You need to let her be for a day or two, buy her a funny DVD, make her a mug of hot choc with whipped cream, and get out of her effing hair. Girls are nuts (I should know, I am one) and she just needs a couple days a month to calm down. And please don't worry yourself over it, hon.
Author likestolaugh Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 thanks guys. I'm hesitant to bring it up after her pms, because I'd rather not put those thoughts into her head when everything is great. She gets really depressed when reminded of things she doesn't like (pms, people in her past, etc...) Luckily I have to choice but to be out of her hair until Tuesday evening (she's meeting me at the train station)... I'm out of town. We've been communicating through email and text. She tells me it's good that I remind her that it's just her hormones... but at the same time I don't want to trivialize the way she's feeling.
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