Cassandra1 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Hi, A friend of mine cancelled his wedding because he was in the closet with his sexuality. I am not sure I believe or is convinced that he is gay because he was engaged to be married to a woman he had been seeing for more than 5 years.... Even though I have not confronted my friend about this yet I just wanted to know if its possible that one would have had no feelings of love for a woman whom he was dating and proposed marriage to? Still confused as we all wanted him to marry because we saw how happy they really were together. Is it possible that my friend is confused about his sexuality and panicked to get out of this before his wedding date?? Cassandra
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 That's messed up. Well the best thing is that the woman is better off that she didnt go through with that, but damn the timing is just off! Do they have any kids? please tell me they dont. because that's only gonna make it worse.
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Well, which is more personally and socially damaging to him? Everyone thinking he doesn't love her or everyone thinking he is gay? If he is lying, which would he choose? IDK. Pick
burning 4 revenge Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 So you are syaing he faked being gay to get out of his wedding like people fake gay being gay to get out of the military?
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 So you are syaing he faked being gay to get out of his wedding like people fake gay being gay to get out of the military? LOL, well from what I heard gay people can fight in the military. Dont ask , dont tell, remember.
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 If he's really gay, does that make his fiance a Fag Hag and she didnt know it? How cowardly to get out of a wedding by claiming gay if he really isnt.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 There are plenty of men who hid their sexuality in the closet and married women and had children, and loved their wives. But were gay. This man could well love his former intended, but was simply too pulled by his sexuality to commit to a relationship. We do not know. Maybe it took courage for him to admit it to her. All we know is that he pulled out of marrying because he was gay. we are all leaping to the conclusion that his partner did not discuss it with him beforehand, or that it was a sudden surprising out-of-the-blue move. We are all jumping to the conclusions that this was sudden and hurtful. we know nothing of the kind. So really, I am a bit surprised that people are being so judgemental and critical of the situation with such scant information..... And why should the OP feels she needs to 'confront' her friend? That sounds a little harsh.... wait to discuss maybe, but why confront?
westernxer Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I am not sure I believe or is convinced that he is gay because he was engaged to be married to a woman he had been seeing for more than 5 years.... Lot of gay men hiding in the closet for the sake of conformity. Forging heterosexual relationships and having children are par for the course. Then they divorce and move to Los Angeles. LOL
Author Cassandra1 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Apparently he said he didn't know that he was going to end it... he thought he could go along with it and pretend but he said he couldn't do it anymore. The reason I am convinced is because we feel like maybe someone else influenced his decision. Already confused about it as I have been one of his closest friends, we really never discussed this but I knew something was wrong but I am pretty sure that someone convinced he was gay. Not to offend the gay community but I know for a fact that gay people tend to be quite prejudiced about people who are 'confused'... its like they want to 'recruit' more of their own into their community so if a person was really suffering and did not know... they would be the first ones there to conquer and convince.. as they do not believe that their is such thing as being bi sexual when in fact there is. So that being said... yes this was a sudden move done by my friend whom I knew from a young age (elementary age). I didn't want to tell him this when I talked to him because I was afraid what he might say or think but seriously I am not convinced but I think at any confused or stressed out stage...cold feet probably he might have panicked last minute in making his decision and this decision was made easier by one who is gay and who wanted to tirelessly convince him.. and he succeeded. There are cold and evil people oout there.. instead of telling this person he needed help perhaps go to therapy to understand himself... this individual was not letting my friend decide for himself, this person knew he was engaged to be married and didn't care... just did the only thing he thought and told my good friend that he was gay... Theres nothing wrong to be gay but for gay men to be this manipulative on a person who was already stressed out and not thinking clearly shows to me what some gay ppl are like. They want to make their community large and strong...no matter whose lives they are ruining!!
Author Cassandra1 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 yes by the way it was done from a last minute... fiancee did not see this coming surprise if you like. I am pretty hurt about this because I really think he isn't gay. NOw that he BELIEVES he is gay all his friends can't do anything to talk to him...get therapy perhaps and understand himself better.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Well why cant your friend have a mind of his own, I mean is he so weak willed to let others influence him? But you know what in the end he's already ruined everything because I dont think anyone is gonna forget how it eneded, the woman is embarassed, the family members are ashamed and shocked. I mean even if he starts dating women again, because he believes he's straight. how's he gonna ignore the pink elephant in the room? it's messed up.
Cherished Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I don't think the family should be ashamed, unless they're complete bigoted homophobics. In that case, he was lucky to get out of it. I think they should feel glad he called it off now so they can both be happy and find someone who will be better for them. This, too, will pass.
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