melissa123 Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Hey guys!! Gosh do I need some help right now more than ever!!!! Im trying out for the Olympics this weekend ... Welll today in about 3 hours! I went to my practice this morning and my ex was there whom I hadnt seen or spoken to in about 6 Months. My ex dumped me about 6 months ago and ran off with my best friend. They were both horrible to me and totally broke my heart. Anyway he turned up today and stared out the window at me. Everything I felt for him turned into a horrid rage. Seeing him had never made me feel so angry, I honestly had the shakes. I got out there and fell to pieces in practice, everything I could usually do with my eyes closed just fell to pieces. I just felt SOOO angry the whole time. All that was going through my mind was my ex and my ex bestfriend. I was SOO angry with him for what he did and the way he treated me and rubbed it in my face. ANyway I have to compete in about 3 hours and im freaking out. He will be there watching and I know I will feel an insane rage again and fall to pieces!! Help me please get rid of this rage and just calm down when I see him. When he treated me like dirt, cheated, ran off with me ex and rubbed it in my face I tried like hell to stay totally calm over it. I never got mad, I just accepted the decision and walked away. Now I feel like all my rage is coming out. How I would love to scream and yell and beat the crap outa him!! Ahhhhh help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ayla Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 OK - you can do this!!!! Put all that rage and hurt and channel it into your performance. Crumble after. Use the emotions to your benefit. FOCUS on you and your performance, tell yourself he is not there. Do not look at him or your ex best friend. If you do have to look at the judges performance - focus on a spot just above their heads. If you are competing to get into the olympics - you are a professional, and your coach will have trained you on how to use negative energy and change it into positive energy. I know you can do this - just keep repeating it to yourself, and focus on your performace. He does not deserve to see your emotions - show him how strong you are and how you deserve to be in the Olympics. Let me know how you go xx
Sweetcheripie Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Oh wow! Congrats about trying out for the Olympics - that is VERY exciting!!! I really don't have any wise words of wisdom other than the best revenge is living well. So, if you can, focus and put all your energy into your sport and just do fantastic! You have come this far....and I'm sure you have had to overcome a lot to get this far so dig deep, you can do it!!! My son plays football and baseball and is a very talentend athlete - he always seems to be better the MORE pressure is on him. So maybe this rage will help you. Good luck - I know you will do great!!!!
DarkestDreams Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Ayla is right. Don't think about him and don't look at him. Focus on the task at hand, on how much you worked for it and on how much you deserve it! Just imagine how much satisfaction you'd give the guy if you were to fail! When you start to feel angry, choose a point on your sorroundings, count to 5 and try to shifts your thoughts. Don't let it build up and distract you. He's nothing to you now...him, your friend, the cheating, the pain..that's the past and it's irrelevant. Focus, focus, focus! Good luck and don't worry, you're gonna be great!
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Get in the zone, you know the zone right before you perform where you dont hear anything but your heartbeat? Meditate if you have to beforehand
Chinook Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Shut the bugger out. He took your heart and your friend, you gonna let him take your life too...? Focus. Ignore him. He's a nobody to you now. Like Boogieboy says, stare right ahead, stay within yourself, listen to that heartbeat, zone out of here and now and zone in on what you can and will do. Breathe in, breathe out. Listen to the heart beating, control that rage, own it and make it work for you not against you.
Author melissa123 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 Thanks so much guys!!! I REALLY appreciate the help!! I was absolutly freaking out this afternoon, was at the point of tears!! Anyway I tried my absolute best to shut him out and did mostly. I did almost my best performance and am in the lead so far yay! The bastard came and stood right in the corner and tried to stare me out!! Im so baffled by his behaviour!! I mean he cheated, dumped me and ran off with my bestfriend .... Y would he need to be nasty to me and try put me off after all this time!!!!!! I thought it would be tho other way round!!!! Anyway thanks soooooooooooooo much guys! Ive just really got to try and keep my head together for tomorrow and do the same thing! Thanks sooooooooo much again!
CaliGuy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Thanks so much guys!!! I REALLY appreciate the help!! I was absolutly freaking out this afternoon, was at the point of tears!! Anyway I tried my absolute best to shut him out and did mostly. I did almost my best performance and am in the lead so far yay! The bastard came and stood right in the corner and tried to stare me out!! Im so baffled by his behaviour!! I mean he cheated, dumped me and ran off with my bestfriend .... Y would he need to be nasty to me and try put me off after all this time!!!!!! I thought it would be tho other way round!!!! Anyway thanks soooooooooooooo much guys! Ive just really got to try and keep my head together for tomorrow and do the same thing! Thanks sooooooooo much again! What an A$$!!! Look, you just go out there and do what you know how to do do in SPITE of him. It's HIS loss NOT YOURS! And why is he there anyway? He's probably jealous or maybe trying to snake his way back into your life. You don't need that guy! Good luck today and keep us up to date!
Lisalisa2 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Can your coach have them removed from the room for your performance? At least you know you can do it now whether he is there or not. He seems quite immature for trying to get at you.
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Yeah, what he said.....and next time dont look for his reaction! DOnt look his way, act like he doesnt exist. Your confidence is already brought back up by your performance. Keep your eyes away from him next time. BTW he's probably going to call or text you, you know what to do right?
webmuse Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but do you think he was there to see you succeed? Maybe he doesn't know that his presence causes you turmoil, maybe he thinks him being there (although not a plea to reunite) was helpful? Like he has faith in you even tho you guys aren't together anymore and wanted you to know that? Just another side of the coin to toss in
openbook08 Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 hey mell, no regrets. dont let this idiot ruin one of the best, if not the best opportunities of your life. when youre standing there receiving your gold medal in a future olympics he will be but a distant thought . . . last laugh remember?? we've talked about this YOU CAN DO IT!! delighted its all goin on a positive note so far . lookin forward to even more positive updates!! **** like a tin-opener remember??
Author melissa123 Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 Hey guys! Sorry the reply took my long! Have been flying over night and have finally gotten home!!! Was a horridly long trip with lost of flights cancelled due to snow!!! Anyway I come with kinda of good news for once ... I won!!!!! It was so strange tho, I won and I should have been over the moon but all I wanted to do was cry. Seeing him that day had made me over whelmingly sad I blocked it while I was competing and whenever I was in public , but when I left to go home I couldnt help but cry my eyes out. I basically cried all the way home as it hurt so bad. It was so strange, I had been doing really good and thought I was almost over him but when I saw him the first day I felt nothing but an insane rage! The next day I felt nothing but heartache! So I have conculded i am insane. But on a good note it was great to win infront of him, He turned up to watch and got up and changed seats about 20x during my performance. It was really hard but on a positive note im glad I did it. Thanks guys for all your fantastic support!! You really came through when I needed it! Thanks so much!!!
DarkestDreams Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Don't worry about it, it's normal to get all emotional after seeing him, especially in these circumstances. Heartbreak pain tends to come in waves..even when you think you're finally done, it hits you again. Cry as much as you need to, get it out of the system and have faith that tomorrow everything will be better. There will come a time when you're gonna look back to this moment and you're gonna barely remember him, BUT you will remember your victory and how sweet it was! Congratulations! You did an awesome job!
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