LadyinWaiting29 Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I met a guy a few months ago, he is younger by 7 years (I'm 29, he is 22). We went out a few times. Even though we had this great physical attraction, I wasn't too sure he was interested in more than just casually hanging out. So I stopped contact. About 2 weeks ago, we did start talking again, mostly through text. A few months ago I was pretty much just looking for a relationship but now I'm open. We ended up going out drinks last Friday. I invited him back to my apartment and we were intimate. This isn't the norm for me, since I haven't been intimate with another guy since August of last year. The sex was great. So I figured him and I could have a "hook up" type relationship. I don't want to fool myself into thinking he could be more. But I could totally have fun with him. Last fri night after we had sex. He asked me if I "dated alot of guys", I took that as "do you sleep with alot of guys" So I told him I do go out with people, but I don't have sex with all of them. He told me thats not what he meant, but I don't know for sure. So yesterday I texted him telling him, I was only interested in a hook up type situation and that I wasn't trying to date him. He responded back almost immediately saying "what makes you say that, are you seeing someone?" I responded back saying "why, does it matter?" And he says "Nope, guess not." He than asked if we could get together tonight. Not sure what form of get together he meant...I had plans, but I told him he could come over when I got home. My question is- why did he ask me if I was seeing someone? Maybe I jumped the boat too quickly, by assuming he wouldn't be interested in dating me? I just figured since we already had sex, that I threw the possibility of dating out the window....
dreamergrl Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I don't think you guys are on the same page, and I think if you're going to be having sex with him, you should get on the same page.
Author LadyinWaiting29 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 I don't think you guys are on the same page, and I think if you're going to be having sex with him, you should get on the same page. I thought I knew what page he was on. Now I'm just confused...
DarkestDreams Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Since he brought it up, he might be interested in dating you. I don't think you threw the possibility out the window, if he's interested, then he's interested and you can still turn it around. The point is..what do YOU want? Figure that one out first, then have a talk with him and get on the same page.
Author LadyinWaiting29 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 Since he brought it up, he might be interested in dating you. I don't think you threw the possibility out the window, if he's interested, then he's interested and you can still turn it around. The point is..what do YOU want? Figure that one out first, then have a talk with him and get on the same page. How do I bring it up? How do I take back what I said?
DarkestDreams Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Well, you already told him to come over tonight after you get home, so he's probably expecting some action. You can just tell him "I've thought about what I told you yesterday, that I'm just interested in a hook-up type situation and not dating. I really enjoy your company and I'd be willing to give this a try, if you feel the same way." Watch his reaction...If he says "no" (in more or less words) just brush it off.. "Ok, in that case we can continue what we have going on now. I brought it up because I wanted to make sure we're both on the same page".
bitbyte Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I think you have to figure out what page you want to be on first. If you just want a hangout and hookup relationship, and he's coming over to hangout and hookup, I'd say you're on the same page.
Errant Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 My guess would be that he's worried that you're using him to cheat on someone, because that'd be one case where you want sex but no emotional connection.
gopher Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 My guess is that he wants to date you or sleep with you, and wonders about the competition....
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