Karajan Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 So I've been in a relationship with this girl for about a year now. It started out with her still in a relationship that was long distance. She eventually broke it off with him and is now with me. The problem is is that we work together and we have to keep it a secret for the time being. She is definitely more vigilant about this than I am, she's in a leadership position where we work. I do feel like honesty is the best policy even in a situation like this. We are definitely serious about each other, and in my opinion, while now may not be the best time to come out with it to our co-workers, I'd much rather people finding out about us be on our terms, rather than us keeping it a secret and people finding out some other way. I really have no problem with not telling people at work (for the time being, can't be like that forever), but the problem I'm having is that she won't tell her parents and she's only told one of her friends about it, and I'm not even sure she's telling her how serious it is. So basically our relationship consists of us sitting in her apartment and doing normal "boring" stuff. That's fine most of the time. But I really feel like we need to take the next step and she needs to tell the people that are close to her about us, as I've told the people that are close to me. I get the feeling that there's something else that is fueling the secrecy besides the whole work thing. I want to be able to go out and have fun with her, and the only time we get to do that is the few times we've gone out of town. When you boil it down, basically I'm not very secure in this situation, but I really love her, and I have good reason to believe that she really loves me and wants this to work. All I want is to have time every once in awhile where we could hang out with other people that aren't involved in the place we work. I've brought it up several times, and I either just get "I'm sorry" or "I don't know what to do". Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Trialbyfire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 People keep secrets for reasons that aren't altruistic in nature. Why do you think she's keeping this "relationship" a secret from family and friends? I've been an LDR secret before. It's not a fun place to be. Give her a deadline and make it stick, although the work thing is tough, unless one of the two of you, is willing to find another job. Beyond that, if you're breaking company policy of non-fraternization, don't expect your employer to be sympathetic to love.
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