cadman Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 can you explain to me why once you decide to put a male companion in the friendzone, nothing ever happens to change your mind....whether its getting to know them a little more or seeing a different side of them or whatever....i can't seem to understand this concept....
carhill Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 The ladies here have answered this in the past... From my perspective, since women generally are the gatekeepers of sex and inter-gender hetero R's generally have a sexual component, even if subverted, women decide which men they are to be sexual/romantic with and which men are friend-zoned. Men do the same thing only in a different way, since they generally pursue. Tell me, would you pursue a woman you didn't find attractive sexually? Would you pursue her for platonic friendship? Likely not. I know I never have. Such friendships happen but not purposefully, generally surrounding common interests. What can change that perspective? IME, likely nothing, if she feels no attraction whatsoever and bonds with you as a platonic friend. However, if there is a little attraction, changing your actions can alter the dynamic. The clearest way is to overtly express interest in other women sexually. Flirt with them. Bring dates around to meet her. Do that sincerely, not to manipulate. As a friend, she should be happy for you. Read between the lines. OK, that's a guy's perspective. Hope you get what you want from the ladies.
loveslife Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I think sometimes things can change, but sometimes they never will. I've had male friends I've grown to really love but the thought of even kissing them (and sometimes they're really good looking) is just unappealing. The times I've friendzoned a guy and then reversed my "decision" have been when I was initially attracted then decided for some reason it wasn't going to work.
BCCA Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I think men do the same thing, just for different reasons. I know Ive met women who I just wasnt sexually attracted to, and they got friend zoned. Sure, they could be great people, but they just didnt do it for me, so thats that.
paddington bear Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I think Carhill has this one totally covered.
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