travel_lover_80 Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I need some really good advice please I have been chatting with a guy (he lives in Spain, I live in the US) for about a year. In that year, he has initiated contact with me every day on msn at work, and then sometimes again when we are both at home. We've talked on the phone over msn and I've seen him on webcam. At the beginning, he was very flirty...but over time he has become a little less flirtatious. But we have always ,maintained that we are only friends (even though sometimes he would say things to me that were could be considered outside the "friend" zone). Fast forward...I am going to Spain for 2 weeks with friends. For 4 of the days I will visit him. The first few days with he and my friends and the last 2 days with him only, (he has booked us a hotel room for 2 nights :S) Now rewind...About 2 days ago he stopped messaging me, (after 1 year of messageing me every day.) He says he is very busy at work and can't chat and his internet is down at his home (which has happened quite a bit since the beginning of our friendship so this isn't alarming.) Anyway, out of desperation I sent an e-mail telling him he was being strange and I was confused by his sudden drop in communication and I asked him if I should cancel my plans to visit him this summer. Of course he responded by saying he's not angry with me, he doesn't need his space, he is only busy at work (I don't really believe this because I see him online on the days he says he's "to busy to chat") But he still wants me to visit...(he has already booked a room-yes, I know what this part means ) BUT I am very aprehensive now about visiting him. I feel a majorly rejected but I don't want to push the issue. So my questions are...Do I still go to visit? Why do you think he is acting strange? Ahhhhh...where do I go from here? I'm sooooooo confused.
LonelyTiger Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Hi travel lover. I'm not sure if this is really good advice but here goes: If you're going to Spain for two weeks with your friends, I don't see any harm in visiting him while you're there - with your friends. If you have any doubts whatsoever about him, and you obviously do, then I certainly wouldn't share a room with him....... and if you're only supposed to be friends, why only one room? I can't think of any reason why he might be acting strange but it's obviously different from his usual behaviour and I think you're right to be concerned. I probably wouldn't push him any further for an explanation but do tell him you've changed your mind about spending two days alone with him. He may then offer a real explanation for his changed behaviour. Good luck.
Lucky_One Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Sounds married or otherwise romantically entangled in a serious relationship. Internet goes down at home a lot, but not at work? Red flag - his wife/SO has other plans for him at night besides him being online, so he tells you his internet is down.
Island Girl Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Internet goes down at home a lot, but not at work? Red flag - his wife/SO has other plans for him at night besides him being online, so he tells you his internet is down. Not necessarily. But the circumstances are disturbing. OP -- why are you staying there alone? Where are your friends going?
Rollercoasterr Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 If you're "just friends" then I see absolutely no reason for only one hotel room. Not even one with two beds in it. Something is going on here, whether romantic, or creepy.
sb129 Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I wouldn't ever ever ever agree to stay in a hotel room alone with a strange man in a foreign country. While it worked out OK on Vicky Cristina Barcelona, that was a movie!
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