Echo009 Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 So we met last night to try and come to a basic seperation agreement without going through the courts. She came out with what I feel are unreasonable demands, then started the waterworks, claiming I am trying to screw her over and complaining about some aspects of the situation she has put herself in. I know, in my mind it is all manipulation. She has done nothing but try and further her own agenda since she left me 2 months ago, and started the process of trying to get the upper hand on me well before she actually left. Now I am engaging legal representation, which I know breeds contempt and resentment, which is not the best for our children. But sitting here, part of me still feels the pain. Part of me still loves her despite what she has done, and wants to take care of her. My mind and heart are in a war over how to react to her, how to treat her, actions to take to protect myself, my future. I want to turn the chapter in my own life, I want to move on, but my heart doesn't want to hurt her, while my mind knows fully well she has inflicted unimaginable pain upon me, and continues to do so. For the sake of the love that once was, and in part for the sake of my children, my heart is willing to make conscessions that I know are not in my best interest. However, she seems to think that she can continue to take advantage of me, slap away the arm I stretched out and demand I sacrifice everything I am. The heart and the mind wage a war, in the end the superior fire power of the mind will win, but I fear in the end the heart will be but a shadow of what it once was. Love, trust, devotion... these are things I feel are only in the past. The future holds nothing of these.
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Melodrama gets nobody anywhere. In matters relating to your personal interconnectedness, the heart should speak. In matters concerning practical distribution of goods, chattels, child support and financial responsibility, the mind should speak. Divide the two and keep them separate. When you married, you both put your names to a contract. That contract is now being terminated. So deal with it in a businesslike manner. There's nothing 'personal' in it. it is all a matter of negotiation and settlement. I wish you well. _/l\_
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