Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 I used to fear that I'd find myself in this situation one day (post breakup), but now I don't care. I'm 32, have a great, sweet, thoughtful low-key girlfriend, and will probably marry her in 3-4 years (if she's so inclined, and if she wants to wait that long). The way I got around this anxiety is to always make sure that I take care of myself first (physically, financially, etc.) and don't make the relationship (or the future family) the only center of my life. The point being is kick the needy in the nuts. Everybody loves a relationship, but that's a vulnerability that needs to be managed, not obsessed with. So, whatever goes down it'll be okay. In the meantime, listen to Glenn Quagmire, and take a flight to amsterdam, bang some hookers, and smoke a lot ot pot. Keep it classy though (no waking up in the ditch!).You guys (and gals, of course!) really crack me up! I swear, I love this place! I am about 90% over the ex, believe it or not, and I know what y'all are saying, I really just wanted to hear from people in their 40's that have similar dating experiences, just for a little affirmation, if you can dig it. I should be so lucky as to date a sweethearted woman half my age! And hey, pot smokin' and hooker bangin' I could do, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I have been a rowdy bastard since 13, that's why I am ready to mellow out, now. But I am loving the answers, as always! Thanks!
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 You guys (and gals, of course!) really crack me up! I swear, I love this place! I am about 90% over the ex, believe it or not, and I know what y'all are saying, I really just wanted to hear from people in their 40's that have similar dating experiences, just for a little affirmation, if you can dig it. I should be so lucky as to date a sweethearted woman half my age! And hey, pot smokin' and hooker bangin' I could do, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I have been a rowdy bastard since 13, that's why I am ready to mellow out, now. But I am loving the answers, as always! Thanks! Trust me man, Amsterdam with a wad of cash is on a completely different level. When you were 13 you smoked Mexican shwag weed and finger banged fat chicks in the back of a Dodge Dart. Now? You can stay in a Royal Suite, bang a prostitute that looks like a Supermodel and smoke teh best chronic in the ****ing WORLD. Put the relationship ambitions on hold. Trust ol' Glenn.
stepka Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I should be so lucky as to date a sweethearted woman half my age! Hey, if I can do it, so can you.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 Trust me man, Amsterdam with a wad of cash is on a completely different level. When you were 13 you smoked Mexican shwag weed and finger banged fat chicks in the back of a Dodge Dart. Now? You can stay in a Royal Suite, bang a prostitute that looks like a Supermodel and smoke teh best chronic in the ****ing WORLD. Put the relationship ambitions on hold. Trust ol' Glenn. Alright, Glenn. I'll take your word for it!
bac Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Love after 40s is not a problem. Sex after 40s is a real problem for a man. There are many different reasons why women leave their husbands in 40s. From what I know the real reason is one. The women just want to have sex in this life and they do not want to postpone that to the next life.
yeex Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Love after 40s is not a problem. Sex after 40s is a real problem for a man. There are many different reasons why women leave their husbands in 40s. From what I know the real reason is one. The women just want to have sex in this life and they do not want to postpone that to the next life. Uh yeah. . Sound like advice from an old, bitter, probably ugly lady that cannot attract the right kind of man. Anyways, my dad fell in love again after 60 and he is the happiest in his life.
prettybaby Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 Love after 40s is not a problem. Sex after 40s is a real problem for a man. There are many different reasons why women leave their husbands in 40s. From what I know the real reason is one. The women just want to have sex in this life and they do not want to postpone that to the next life. Uhm, what kind of statement is that? -1- most 40 year old men still have a good libido; albeit generally a little lower than in their younger days, statistics show that the average 40-something year old doesn't experience a drastic drop (no pun intended). -2- this topic isn't about women leaving their husband ... where did that come from? -3- it sounds like you're talking about some past relationship(s) of yours that turned sour! Sorry to hear that ... but this isn't even remotely related to the OP's questions.
Shygirl15 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Love after 40s is not a problem. Sex after 40s is a real problem for a man. Most 40s guys have huge hung up issues and if someone is really looking for a meaningful relationship they better look in the 30s or 50+.
Shygirl15 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 Uh yeah. . Sound like advice from an old, bitter, probably ugly lady that cannot attract the right kind of man. What's up with all the insults, do you know her in real life to make that statement??
Gold Pile Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 In between my numerous one nighters and short termers, I found (at age 44) a lady that became quite special for a year....if I was normal like you, I could of made that one work. At age 46 I found a nice lady who wanted something special, again...a normal guy would have made it last. Recently I've found a lady in her 50's that seems a good match...so says both of us. The opportunities seem to present themselves again and again. Stay in shape, be decently groomed, be content to be alone (not desperate), and be aware that any of the women around you could be interested...now or later. I prefer to let them evaluate me while they're still assuming that I'm married. When they find out out I'm not married...it gives some pause, but they usually get over it. Funny, I had a buddy in High School that was always fixing me up with girls. Looking back I think he was gay. Glad I didn't know it then, or I'd feel bad to this day for the ass kicking I'd have given him. I'm not sure about kids today, but back then nearly everyone was straight or beaten to a pulp.
Bells Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 You got it ALLLLL wrong. Lesbians don't go to male gay bars. Hot straight chicks who claim the like good music and don't like to get hit on by guys do. Otherwise known as *blank* hags LOL
yeex Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 What's up with all the insults, do you know her in real life to make that statement?? I was not insulting her personally. I was just stating my opinion that it sounds like advice from an old, bitter, probably ugly lady that cannot attract the right kind of man. Just like she stated her opinion that "Sex after 40s is a real problem for a man." Has she slept with every man over 40 in real life to make that statement? And going back to your opinion: "Most 40s guys have huge hung up issues and if someone is really looking for a meaningful relationship they better look in the 30s or 50+." So have you gone out with most 40s guys in real life to make such a statement? That would be a lot of guys.
turquoise Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I'm a 34 married but soon to be divorced woman and i'm really glad to see there are men out there that want to meet "a soulmate" after 40. I have been married to a man whom i didn't love for 10 years (i stayed for the kids) and also have been wondering if i'll ever meet anyone again. You've given me hope:rolleyes:
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 I'm a 34 married but soon to be divorced woman and i'm really glad to see there are men out there that want to meet "a soulmate" after 40. I have been married to a man whom i didn't love for 10 years (i stayed for the kids) and also have been wondering if i'll ever meet anyone again. You've given me hope:rolleyes:God, I never thought I'd find myself sounding old, saying "I wish I was 34!". Don't mention it, turquoise. BTW, you're gonna be single soon, eh? Just teasing!
Lizzie60 Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 I'm curious, how many of you have found love after you turned forty? I am still more or less pining for my ex (less than more, lol!) so I guess I am at that pathetic stage where I feel like I'll never meet someone again, especially at my age, 42. I know I'm still relatively young, but it just seems hopless right now. I also know I'll feel better after I meet someone cool, but right now it sucks! Thanks as always to a very caring community! ahh aaahhh.. come on.. 40 is the new 30... women do look much better now days.. so don't worry.. be happy.. I fell in love with my last ex.. when I was 45.. he was 32 (almost 33)... we lived common-law until I left him 5 years later. It was amazing. Since him... I am single by choice.. I enjoy my freedom and all the men I have much more than being with only one man in a 'boring' relationship. that's MY choice.
normal Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 It's possible. Parents divorced when they were 40... Both found new love interests. One was 4 years after the divorce the other was 5 years after. So yes, you probably will meet someone.
further Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 Interesting! I think the first thing you need to change is your mentality - stop feeling hopeless. Go out and start dating whatever women you have some interest in. Then you will see opportunities and crushes start popping up everywhere or out of nowhere in your case. Trust me, that is exactly what is happening to my friend - a 44 years old guy currently dating a 29 gorgeous never-married girl now!
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 Interesting! I think the first thing you need to change is your mentality - stop feeling hopeless. Go out and start dating whatever women you have some interest in. Then you will see opportunities and crushes start popping up everywhere or out of nowhere in your case. Trust me, that is exactly what is happening to my friend - a 44 years old guy currently dating a 29 gorgeous never-married girl now!Man, that sounds great! Right now, I am trying to learn the "game", but not to be a player, I want love in my life again. even tho the ex and I crashed and burned, I still loved the feeling of being loved and having a woman be proud of me, the excitement of budding love, everything! I have been such a coward the past ten years (part of it was me getting back on my feet, no car, other less than confidence building issues, plus bitter for a couple years after GF), I will not waste anymore time not proactively working towards the love I seek.
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