lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I'm curious, how many of you have found love after you turned forty? I am still more or less pining for my ex (less than more, lol!) so I guess I am at that pathetic stage where I feel like I'll never meet someone again, especially at my age, 42. I know I'm still relatively young, but it just seems hopless right now. I also know I'll feel better after I meet someone cool, but right now it sucks! Thanks as always to a very caring community!
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 If I was single and 40, I'd spend half my money on cocaine and the other half in the red light district of Amsterdam. You should look at your position as a blessing. While the rest of us are driving minivans to soccer practice, you could put neon beer signs up and sport bang club whores. I feel no pity for you.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 If I was single and 40, I'd spend half my money on cocaine and the other half in the red light district of Amsterdam. You should look at your position as a blessing. While the rest of us are driving minivans to soccer practice, you could put neon beer signs up and sport bang club whores. I feel no pity for you. Ha ha ha! OK, fair enough, but the problem is I don't want that, I have always wanted just that certain someone. Sappy, I know, but I don't want the party lifestyle anymore. But thanks for your input.
stepka Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Yeah lonely guy, I came out of my marriage wanting to find someone right away too, but when I got over my ex, I realized that I want to spend some time looking around and don't want to get tied up right away. You see, you go thru stages, and you just haven't reached the one Glenn is talking about yet. There's a man I really really like, but it's like I'm not really in a hurry yet to hook up with him b/c then I'd probably have to stop having fun, which is all I want to do right now. This too shall pass. I'm 50 BTW, so the fun doesn't stop when you get older.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I used to want a woman my age or a little bit older (34), but just look around...the women in their forties all want to bang and trap men in their 20's these days I figure we're probably better off listening to advice like Mr Quagmires
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I'm telling you fellas ... monotony is overrated. Assuming you're established with a decent salary ... you get to relive your 20's again but this time you can do it with the money and means necessary to make it epic. Why would you even want a life partner beyond 40? You're likely not going to start a family and watch it grow. If you want a companion, get a dog. If you want good conversation with no commitment, get some gay friends. Gay friends are great. You can call them out of the blue after 3 months of not talking to them and they'll not only pick up like you never left off but they'll have a smoking hot girl for you to meet. Between the dog, gay friends and endless hookers ... you'll be living the dream.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 Hey, are serious about the gay guy thing? I never thought of that angle, meeting girls that way. That's effing brilliant! If there gay friend says you're a good guy, you practically home! Were you serious, Quagmire?
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Hey, are serious about the gay guy thing? I never thought of that angle, meeting girls that way. That's effing brilliant! If there gay friend says you're a good guy, you practically home! Were you serious, Quagmire? **** yeah. Women trust a gay man's opinion about everything, especially guys. And gay guys love having a token straight guy around to harass. I don't know where you live but if its anywhere around a major city, go to a gay club on drag night. You'll never see so many hot women in your life ... and some of them don't have dicks!
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 **** yeah. Women trust a gay man's opinion about everything, especially guys. And gay guys love having a token straight guy around to harass. I don't know where you live but if its anywhere around a major city, go to a gay club on drag night. You'll never see so many hot women in your life ... and some of them don't have dicks!OK, you're starting to scare me a little bit here, but hey, if you're happy...I live in the San Fran Bay Area and if I felt so inclined, I could go to gay clubs, but won't. I've had gay guy friends that I have worked with, cool cats really. But that is brilliant. May I ask how old you are, Quagmire?
burning 4 revenge Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 **** yeah. Women trust a gay man's opinion about everything, especially guys. And gay guys love having a token straight guy around to harass. I don't know where you live but if its anywhere around a major city, go to a gay club on drag night. You'll never see so many hot women in your life ... and some of them don't have dicks! Yeah but in my experience the ones who dont have dicks are lesbians and not nearly as hot as some of the ones who have dicks and that just ends up feeling really gay
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 I think we're getting a little off-topic here. Is there life (sex!) after 40? Silly, I know, but that's where I'm at right now.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I guess I am at that pathetic stage where I feel like I'll never meet someone again I have been feeling that way lately, and I'm 32.
Art_Critic Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I came out of a 5 year marriage when I was 38 and found the love of my life when I was 41-42ish and got married at 43 and became a Dad when I was 44 and I turn 46 next week. ( I think this is all correct ) Yes.. it is possible... I will say though that I dated more women in those 4 years than I did in the previous 15.. Turning 40 as far as dating was concerned for me was like turning on the faucet..
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Yeah but in my experience the ones who dont have dicks are lesbians and not nearly as hot as some of the ones who have dicks and that just ends up feeling really gay You got it ALLLLL wrong. Lesbians don't go to male gay bars. Hot straight chicks who claim the like good music and don't like to get hit on by guys do. trust me ... you'll see more hot straight chicks at a gay bar than you will at ladies night at the meat market. And the best part is ... their guard is down. You need to learn the ways of the gays, my young padawan. All of that said, admittedly, I haven't played that angle in YEARS. I'm 32 and married now.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 I think you make an important point, AC. I really do need to date everything with a pulse, so to speak. I have never really dated all that much, married from 19 to 29 and had a GF for 2 years off and on after that. From 32 'til last year, I was broke and didn't want to date because I wanted to work on my career (what a waste of my youth!). Now I want to meet as many woman as I can, but with the sole intent of meeting HER. Is that so wrong or strange?
Ruby Slippers Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 And the best part is ... their guard is down. You need to learn the ways of the gays, my young padawan. My cute gay friend took me to a gay club with him and his boy posse when I was in town a while back, and every other guy invited himself to touch my boobs as I was walking by! And then as I was leaving, this unbearably hot shirtless guy in jeans grabbed me and started sucking face with me!
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 You got it ALLLLL wrong. Lesbians don't go to male gay bars. Hot straight chicks who claim the like good music and don't like to get hit on by guys do. trust me ... you'll see more hot straight chicks at a gay bar than you will at ladies night at the meat market. And the best part is ... their guard is down. You need to learn the ways of the gays, my young padawan. All of that said, admittedly, I haven't played that angle in YEARS. I'm 32 and married now.You have me fascinated. Problem: Me and my friends are GUYS, you know, watch football, drink beer, fart, etc. Should I just go on my own, and how do I tactfully explain to the clientele that I am a horny guy looking to score? Like I said, I've had gay and lesbian friends (almost slept with the one bi girl and her GF, but didn't want to cheat on my slut GF, lol!). Been to a lesbian bar, but could I just wander into a gay bar looking for women and still be welcome? So confused...
burning 4 revenge Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 You have me fascinated. Problem: Me and my friends are GUYS, you know, watch football, drink beer, fart, etc. Should I just go on my own, and how do I tactfully explain to the clientele that I am a horny guy looking to score? Like I said, I've had gay and lesbian friends (almost slept with the one bi girl and her GF, but didn't want to cheat on my slut GF, lol!). Been to a lesbian bar, but could I just wander into a gay bar looking for women and still be welcome? So confused... Youre welcome to try this route, but I don't know man... Have tried something more tradional like internet personals
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 Hey, I can dig it, B4R, this would not be my sole means of dating, just an angle to play with. The possibilities are quite intriguing! Next time I meet a cool gay cat, that will be a friendship i will cultivate!
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 You have me fascinated. Problem: Me and my friends are GUYS, you know, watch football, drink beer, fart, etc. Should I just go on my own, and how do I tactfully explain to the clientele that I am a horny guy looking to score? Like I said, I've had gay and lesbian friends (almost slept with the one bi girl and her GF, but didn't want to cheat on my slut GF, lol!). Been to a lesbian bar, but could I just wander into a gay bar looking for women and still be welcome? So confused... Not sure how to tactfully approach it from your angle. I used to throw raves so all the gay dudes were on my nuts to begin with. Then I threw my biggest party of all at a gay club and that was it. I was like the straight pet for the gay community. I can't tell you how much hot ass they pulled in for me. I guess I would just leave your "guy" friends out of it. Trust me, I'm a beer guzzling couch potato myself these days. I drafted 4 fantasy football teams last year for christ sake. Do you have an single, open minded girl friends? They would have a BLAST at a gay club. And they will undoubtedly be your "in". You two can go dance, have a good time and let her meet people. Warning: you need to be grounded and have a good sense of humor. If you're good looking, and obviously straight, you might get harassed a bit. Don't be a moron homophobe and start throwing punches because some dude touched your shoulder. Actually, keep me posted on your progress. Maybe I can put together a "Gay Wrangling for Dummies" memo. It would be a precursor to my "1,000 Ways for a Normal Guy to Get Laid" paperback.
loveslife Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Hahaha should love be this difficult? If I were you (and to some degree I am - over 40, but female) I'd just focus on learning what you need to know to not make the same mistakes again. Focus on becoming a better person. In other words, learn about yourself. That's what I'm trying to do. Because I believe that once you figure yourself out the partners you pick are of a higher caliber because you know what's really important. If you're looking for some "hot ass" that's a dime a dozen. It sounded to me though that you're looking for something a little more meaningful.
Author lonelypiscesguy Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 Quagmire, let me get something straight (get it? See it's funny because we're talkin...never mind) I don't really want to actively make gay friends to meet women, passively I will take more notice of being friends with gay dudes, does that make any sense? Like I said, I have had gay dude friends in the past, I'm not a total uptight hetero, most gay cats crack me up, and damn they're organized! Seriously, can we possibly stay on task with the love after 40 question?
tinklebell Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Seriously, can we possibly stay on task with the love after 40 question? I don't see why you can't find someone after 40. Don't want to be sexist but for a guy, life can begin at 40. As a sidebar, I've heard friends comment that men after 40 who aren't married are quite settled in their ways and unlikely to want to be married. You don't seem to be one of those though so I hope you open your eyes and heart to someone new. I know of men in their 40s dating women half their age. So can you!
Sam Spade Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 I used to fear that I'd find myself in this situation one day (post breakup), but now I don't care. I'm 32, have a great, sweet, thoughtful low-key girlfriend, and will probably marry her in 3-4 years (if she's so inclined, and if she wants to wait that long). The way I got around this anxiety is to always make sure that I take care of myself first (physically, financially, etc.) and don't make the relationship (or the future family) the only center of my life. The point being is kick the needy in the nuts. Everybody loves a relationship, but that's a vulnerability that needs to be managed, not obsessed with. So, whatever goes down it'll be okay. In the meantime, listen to Glenn Quagmire, and take a flight to amsterdam, bang some hookers, and smoke a lot ot pot. Keep it classy though (no waking up in the ditch!).
Ruby Slippers Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Hey, pisces guy, I'm 32 and though I've been in relationships with guys around my own age in the past, in the future, I think I will consider older men. I imagine that in general, older men know themselves a little better, know what they want, and aren't running around like chickens with their heads cut off not knowing what the hell to do with themselves or what they want. I would consider dating a guy in his 40s -- as long as he still had awesome mojo in bed.
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