RainyNight Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Hi again everybody ,, I don't know if u still remember my story , it was about a LDR that ended horribly with silent treatment from his side . For 2 months after the breakup I couldnt commit to NC , I always failed to complete a week or 2 . Then I found him online on skype , I kept calling & typing messeges for almost 2 hours with no answer from him . After that night , I felt that I had the chance to say everything I wanted to, & I did everything for that relationship to work . I finally gave up & started a new life , had a new look, met new freinds, & acheived new success in my career . All of that just in one month . I was too busy to contact him , I didn't find tme to wonder wether I still love him . After one month of no contact , I woke up one night , after midnight, he was calling ! Half a sleep I just picked up the call , as a reflex , not thinking if i should do it & how should i do it . Anyway , what comes next is that he told me that he stayed away from me so i can hate him & forget him bcz he wanted me to have better optons as our LDR wasn't going to work with the complications of the long geographical & political distances . He said he couldn't stay away that long . He missed my voice & good writings . I was happy ofcourse , but cautious . I learned alot from this forum . So I didn't take him back right away & I asked him " what did u come back for ?" He has to find an answer for that b4 we can go on . Another complex issue is that during the month of my busy life , I met someone who lives in my area , he is the ideal picture of my Mr.right , we started getting closer , but the chemistry is not yet there though there is a great chance it will buld up soon if we contnue seeing each other . I dont know what to do . I love my ex , he came back, but the chances that our LDR would work are not clear . & this new guy seems a good chance to start a committing relationship which one needs at this age , I'm 29 & time is running . I liked to share this with u for 2 reasons : - to tell u NC does work . - & to ask u what would u do if u were me now. Thanks alot
boogieboy Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Concentrate on the new guy, and forget about the old one. Youre in a great new place right now (i wish I was able to find someone new within a month) Keep it going.
Author RainyNight Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks boogie it's really a tough decision I don't want to break a heart that loves me & I don't want to miss a possible chance to make my social life finally right, please my family & have some dignity . I still love my ex , what if I fail to love the new guy or he dosent love me , I will end up lonely without the man who loved me & couldnt stay away from me . I dont know it's a tough decision Thanks alot
boogieboy Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks boogie it's really a tough decision I don't want to break a heart that loves me & I don't want to miss a possible chance to make my social life finally right, please my family & have some dignity . I still love my ex , what if I fail to love the new guy or he dosent love me , I will end up lonely without the man who loved me & couldnt stay away from me . I dont know it's a tough decision Thanks alot What they would normally say on this board is not to jump into something new right away, but since you already did, this is the time to completely forget your ex. No more contact with him, and work hard on the chemistry with the new guy. What you might wanna do is when you have overwhelming feelings come up with your ex, type and vent them into the computer, but never send them. it helps to get thats stuff out of your head that you might want to say to him. Maybe make a list of all the bad things in the relationship to help rationalize why you shouldnt get back together. Number one reason being that you dont want someone who thought you werent good enuf for them. Maybe picture yourself a few months from now with the new guy doing fun things and having a great relationship, with no thoughts of your ex creeping up on you.
webmuse Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 so you're afraid of hurting your ex, but HE broke YOUR heart, and you loved him...why should you treat him any differently than he treated you? and then he reconsiders & gives you some lame-excuse?- I don't buy it! And now you feel you have to choose between the old & the new? - there's more then 2 men out there.. the old one didn't work, the new one you aren't sure about.. there's a billion more prospects out there. You are starting over and that's great.. but why in the world would you want to start all over with someone that's proven not to be your best choice?
Tizzy Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I'd forget about the ex and continue spending time with the new guy to see if there's some potential. If the ex comes up with some good reasons for why a Round 2 might work, maybe think about rekindling that but only if you truly think things could be different the second time around and only if you find you're not all that into the new guy (or anyone else). Life is too short to be hung up on someone who doesn't know what the hell he wants.
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