skreen23 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Haven't been on here in a while so i thought i'd update my situation. Been on a break with my gf of 6 years for the past 4 week during which i kept low contact. Anyway during a spell of weakness i rang her twice this week, monday and wednesday. The first conversation on monday went well, i thought. She sounded a bit, off, but i kept the chat nice and breezy. I think she thought i was angry at her but i assured her i wasn't. Also said that she missed me and i said i wasn't surprised as i'm fantastic. i let her talk mostly about herself, what she was up to. When i told her i joined a gym and was in the process of starting a new business with a friend she said that i was doing loads and was very dynamic (me, dynamic????). Anyway i rang her again last night (forgive me i'm weak) and we started chatting again. Again i tried to keep things light but the conversation veered towards her parents marriage and her father. It looks like the marriage is ending and the father is emotionmally abusive to my gf and her sister. Said that our break was 50% parents marriage 50% her. I asked if we were split up or what. She said (drum roll) it would sound better in her head if we split up. I said i respected her decision and told her to look after herself. When i said i still loved her and fancied her, she said her lack of self confidence made that difficult for her. She said she came to believe there was something wrong with me for loving her. Well we chatted for a while more, me keeping a brave face on. We said goodbye on good terms. Anyway 5 mins later she rang back, saying that the tought of us splitting made her panic. I said fair enough we're on a break until you figure out how you feel. So it looks like her lack of self confidence (she's a sexy, bright, beautiful person) and parents marriage scuppered our realtionship. Any words of wisdom out there. Helllllllllllpppppppp.
boogieboy Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Man, theres plenty of threads on this same thing, and theres always a likely excuse why a girl wants to break up when its not the truth. If you of all people cant keep her mental health off her parents marriage, no one will. So the real deal is, thats a BS excuse, and she is seeing someone else. Say goodbye forever and forget about her. Get a new girl that will treat you better. This one will probably be calling you back in a few months to try again, but by then you would have found someone better and realized you will never want her again. Trust me.
webmuse Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Hmm.. how did her parents pending divorce affect your guys' relationship? and what exactly does it mean when she says it is 50% her? And wow, I love the way you write.. what I wouldn't do to be "fancied" =-)
Author skreen23 Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Her father is a fruit loop, since christmas the atmosphere in the house has really soured. I think the stress she feels about her parents splitting has really affected her. Also her father in the past has emotionally abused both daughters. The last time gf and me spoke on the phone she told me that there was an entry in his diary that he was "finished" with his wife and two daughters. I'm really worried about her but can't really do anything about it. What can i say, i'm a deadly writer.
boogieboy Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Its out of your hands. Since your presence couldnt take her mind off her parents, its out of your hands. I still dont believe her parents have anything to do with her relationship to you, but if it did, only she can handle her own feelings, and you dont need to get caught up in the crossfire. Youre not married so you dont have to deal with it. Get someone who doesnt push you away.
Author skreen23 Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 You're probably right but feelings are very hard to switch off and i have a close relationship with hers siblings and mother (not that close you dirty minded fecker). I think the big thing is her lack of self confidence. Her sister told me my gf's checking up plastic surgery clinics and she told me that she began to believe there was something wrong with me for loving her. This has cropped up before in our relationship and she went to counselling for it but she didn't see it through properly. I think she's not entirely sure whats going on in her own head. The way she paniced after she said we are split up. Know i can't help her or her family at the mo but like i said i can't just switch of feelings. Like we just recently co-bought a washing machine, i mean nothing says forever like buying a washing machine. I wish that someone could tell me whats going on in her head but thats impossible. Just know that i'm upset and a little bit angry over whats happening. Women can make something so simple (you're ugly, crap in bed, can't stand you) drag out and slowly inch by inch drag your heart out through your arse.
boogieboy Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Women can make something so simple (you're ugly, crap in bed, can't stand you) drag out and slowly inch by inch drag your heart out through your arse. They only drag your heart when you let them. Youre letting her get to you this way. If shes not seeing someone new, shes got serious mental problems that you cant do anything about. Give her the break she wants. Give her at least two months. Let her miss you, she could just be letting her emotions get the best of her and she will have to learn to curb them or you wont come back. The power of absence is amazing. And stop talking to her family, get on with your life for now.
Author skreen23 Posted May 16, 2009 Author Posted May 16, 2009 You're dead right but sometimes doing the simplest things can be piss hard. She works in a supermarket and i went in there today to buy a bottle of wine and a lottery ticket (please let it be me). Anyway she served me and i looked her right in the eye, smiled, made a few pleasant remarks and told her to have a great night tonight (i meant it). She made a remark "is this your new routine?" in a light hearted way. I will definitely not make this a routine, that my last time there for a long time (baring zombie attack and thats last refuge). I was kind of testing myself, to see if i could see and talk to her without exploding or crying my eyes out. Massive gambit but i pulled it off. I know i still love her and still see myself with her forever but i reckon i can keep my distance and lay low for a while. I know that if this relationship is going to work she has to work on herself. And i know theres a chance we won't get back together. What i do know is i will work on meself and have a laugh for tomorrow is another day.
Ariadne Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Hey, Just keep talking and being supportive. Hopefully she'll come around. Seems like she needs you. Good luck.
Author skreen23 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Posted May 19, 2009 Wow, feeling a little down at the mo, finally sinking in that it may be over. Had a fantastic weekend, business is picking up and i'm trying to keep busy but every so often the urge to ring is overwhelming. Realise i'm grieving over the relationship. I hope it ain't over and we get back together but i've put the ball well and truly in her court so now its her move. All i can do now is play the waiting game and i hate the waiting game, prefer Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Author skreen23 Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Well i hate reading these old threads and wondering what the hell happened???? Well my story is still progressing and guess what, our "break" has just become a "break-up." Was doing the old nc/lc thing for the last while but today i read in the paper that a friend of hers had died in bali drinking dodgy wine. Well i rang up to see how she was and we chatted for a while but her tone of voice was strange. She asked if we could meet up and i asked if it was to do with our situation (ie break). She said it was but i knew from the tone it didn't look good for your's truely. I said i'd rather know now than stew over bad news. Then she said we should break up (Dah Dah Daaaah). We're meeting next week cause its a shame to say goodbye to a 6 year affair over the phone. Hard when someone you really love don't want you around. Going to miss her and her family. Feck it though, could be worse, i could be english.
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