Hitting the Club Scene with your SO

[mr.dream merchant]

Guys and gals, do you thoroughly enjoy clubbing with your SO? If yes, for what reasons? If no, for what reasons?

 

 

For me, I'm torn. I enjoy clubbing and even more so with my GF. What I don't enjoy is when we go with a group of people, and one particular guy out of that group, who knows we're together, always makes passes at my GF. I get pissed off and my GF tells me I'm acting psycho. How is my anger not justified by some dick making a pass at my chick when he knows she's with me? Last time I almost got into a fight with one and my GF has been "scared" of going clubbing with me because I don't know how to act.

 

Anyways, that's just my thoughts/feelings on clubbing with the SO. When I'm with the boys its completely drama free and nothing but good times.

 

What's that R.Kelly saying? "Don't bring em in the club" I'm starting to hate clubbing with my chick lol...

[Glenn Quagmire]

Baaaaad idea beyond like 22 years old.

[mr.dream merchant]

Baaaaad idea beyond like 22 years old.

 

Could you elaborate please? I've been peepin your posts, good ****.

 

Maybe I lied, thinking about it, I don't like clubbing with my GF because she calls me a psycho at the drop of a dime. I don't think its psycho to be upset over some guy trying to get a piece of MY GF's ass, especially if he knows she's with me. That's just disrespectful to not only her, but me. Its like saying "You're a bitch, I'm going to try and still your GF who I also think is a whore". I don't take that **** lightly. Now I'm not saying I'm gonna flip out and ****ing go Incredible Hulk ASAP but it pisses me off enough to show on my face, and my GF starts bitching about how I always ruin the fun at the club, and how I'm a pyscho, and yadda yadda yadda.

[donnamaybe]

You need to lighten up, MDM. When guys hit on me, it just makes my guy proud that I'm his. He knows I only have eyes for him.

[mr.dream merchant]

You need to lighten up, MDM. When guys hit on me, it just makes my guy proud that I'm his. He knows I only have eyes for him.

 

You think so? I guess I just live by the principles too much. If I know a chick is with a dude in the same group of people I went to the club with, I'm not going to try and spit game to her when I get the chance ie. when her BF isn't around. That **** is so lame. I know my game is on point, and I know my GF isn't going anywhere. Its just annoying as ****. Can I not go to the club without some dickhead ass weasel mother****er trying to score some pussy in the off limits zone? That's like trying to drive the ball in on Ben Wallace, Kevin Garnett, Shaq and Yao Ming at the same time, that **** aint happenin! So why even try?! All its going to do is piss people off. All the free and probably single pussy in the club and you want to come holla at mine? Lol its baffling.

[donnamaybe]

You think so? I guess I just live by the principles too much. If I know a chick is with a dude in the same group of people I went to the club with, I'm not going to try and spit game to her when I get the chance ie. when her BF isn't around. That **** is so lame. I know my game is on point, and I know my GF isn't going anywhere. Its just annoying as ****. Can I not go to the club without some dickhead ass weasel mother****er trying to score some pussy in the off limits zone? All the free and probably single pussy in the club and you want to come holla at mine? Lol its baffling.

 

Are you sure these guys are truly hitting on your girl, or are they just playfully flirting? You said she's a flirt in the past. Maybe she's just fun to flirt with and it means nothing?

 

If a guy is REALLY trying to get in your girl's pants or steal her from you, I can understand you being irritated with him.

 

You should analyze what's REALLY going on. Is it just harmless flirting and bantering, or is the guy seriously trying to get your girl?

[mr.dream merchant]

Are you sure these guys are truly hitting on your girl, or are they just playfully flirting? You said she's a flirt in the past. Maybe she's just fun to flirt with and it means nothing?

 

If a guy is REALLY trying to get in your girl's pants or steal her from you, I can understand you being irritated with him.

 

You should analyze what's REALLY going on. Is it just harmless flirting and bantering, or is the guy seriously trying to get your girl?

 

To be honest I don't even know if my GF is a flirter or not. She swears by the Holy Qur'an that she isn't a flirt, couldn't flirt to save her life. But she laughs at everything people say, even if its remotely funny. This includes guys to. Is it flirting? I don't know, I guess it would be if she was mildly attracted to the guy, but I wouldn't know unless I shared her brain. And on some true story ****, I wouldn't take a guy trying to flirt it up with my GF lightly either. Get that **** out of here duke, its the same concept. Of all the girls in the club you want to get flirty with my chick? **** outta here. And you know what, I think just because of how she socializes (laughing at every dumb joke said in conversation) guys tend to flock to her because they probably think she's taking a liking to them because she's laughing at their jokes. ****, even I thought that was so.

[Glenn Quagmire]

Could you elaborate please? I've been peepin your posts, good ****.

 

Maybe I lied, thinking about it, I don't like clubbing with my GF because she calls me a psycho at the drop of a dime. I don't think its psycho to be upset over some guy trying to get a piece of MY GF's ass, especially if he knows she's with me. That's just disrespectful to not only her, but me. Its like saying "You're a bitch, I'm going to try and still your GF who I also think is a whore". I don't take that **** lightly. Now I'm not saying I'm gonna flip out and ****ing go Incredible Hulk ASAP but it pisses me off enough to show on my face, and my GF starts bitching about how I always ruin the fun at the club, and how I'm a pyscho, and yadda yadda yadda.

 

You gotta realize that the assumption at the club is that everything is fair game. The majority of people look at it like a meat market so you can't expect guys to be mindreaders. Your girl is going to get hit on ... which is why its a bad idea. When you're 18 or 19 then it really doesn't matter. because she can go bang some other dude and you can just pick up some other chick. But once you mature a bit and want an actual relationship, there are just certain environments that aren't the right fit anymore. And the club is one of them.

 

Now, in this particular case your buddy KNOWS that she's your girl. that said, he's probably thinking the same thing I am ... that any dude dumb enough to bring hyis hot ass girl to the club deserves to get got. So in this rare instance, its hard to blame him.

 

If you're 22+ years old and this relationship is serious, neither one of you should be going to clubs anymore anyway but if you insist ... then at least don't go together. What you don't know won't hurt you.

[mr.dream merchant]

Thing is, my shorty won't go to the club unless I go with her. So when she wants to go, I feel kind of obligated because she enjoys clubbing, so it'd be like robbing her of it. I always tell her to go by herself, cause you're right, what I don't know won't hurt me. I'd probably be at a different club that same night with my squad. And duke isn't my buddy, it isn't the same guy here. When we go we go in groups, and usually one guy out of the group will always try his luck with my GF. I don't understand how a taken chick is fair game in the club. I don't give a **** about guys who had no idea about her and I you know? I've been that same guy before. No problem. Its the mother ****ers who know she's with you who still try to come through on some skeemin ****.

[donnamaybe]

To be honest I don't even know if my GF is a flirter or not. She swears by the Holy Qur'an that she isn't a flirt, couldn't flirt to save her life. But she laughs at everything people say, even if its remotely funny. This includes guys to. Is it flirting? I don't know, I guess it would be if she was mildly attracted to the guy, but I wouldn't know unless I shared her brain. And on some true story ****, I wouldn't take a guy trying to flirt it up with my GF lightly either. Get that **** out of here duke, its the same concept. Of all the girls in the club you want to get flirty with my chick? **** outta here. And you know what, I think just because of how she socializes (laughing at every dumb joke said in conversation) guys tend to flock to her because they probably think she's taking a liking to them because she's laughing at their jokes. ****, even I thought that was so.

 

I'm very outgoing, and people like talking with me and are drawn to me. I make 'em laugh a lot, and they like that. Is it flirting? No. Does it sometimes make people want to flirt with me? Sometimes. But it's not serious flirting. It's just joking around; having fun. But I'm probably a couple decades older than you, and my guy and I can put it in perspective. Like I said, he knows I only have eyes for him, and if some guy made a serious attempt to get between us, he knows I'd squash him like a bug.

 

And if your girl doesn't feel comfortable going to the club without her, don't stop taking her. You'll rob her of so much fun! Us gals LOVE going out dancing!!!

[Glenn Quagmire]

Thing is, my shorty won't go to the club unless I go with her. So when she wants to go, I feel kind of obligated because she enjoys clubbing, so it'd be like robbing her of it. I always tell her to go by herself, cause you're right, what I don't know won't hurt me. I'd probably be at a different club that same night with my squad. And duke isn't my buddy, it isn't the same guy here. When we go we go in groups, and usually one guy out of the group will always try his luck with my GF. I don't understand how a taken chick is fair game in the club. I don't give a **** about guys who had no idea about her and I you know? I've been that same guy before. No problem. Its the mother ****ers who know she's with you who still try to come through on some skeemin ****.

 

You sound like you know the game so let me ask you an be honest. Say you roll out to the club in a group and your boy brought a dime that you think belongs on your cock. You know how guys are ... we start inventing **** in our heads like oh I bet she really wants me and her man is lame as ****. She sneezes anywhere near us and we assume its a pass. So lets say this chick is all about you (in your mind) ... you're a little buzzed ... sweatin a bit ... dancing ... shorty is up close .... i mean, you're gonna tell me that you aren't gonna try? Al because some friend of a friend broughnt her?

 

Cmon kid, I ain't buying that ****. You'd whisper some game, hold her hand below the crowd line and try to establish that level with her. I mean ****, she's at a club right?

 

The bigger question here is why your girl is so hell bent on dragging you to clubs especially if she knows she's going to get hit on and it bothers you. Maybe that's the reason she wants to do it?

 

if it was me, I'd tell her to go about her business without me. Just make sure she's in my bed a 2 a.m.

[mr.dream merchant]

I'm very outgoing, and people like talking with me and are drawn to me. I make 'em laugh a lot, and they like that. Is it flirting? No. Does it sometimes make people want to flirt with me? Sometimes. But it's not serious flirting. It's just joking around; having fun. But I'm probably a couple decades older than you, and my guy and I can put it in perspective. Like I said, he knows I only have eyes for him, and if some guy made a serious attempt to get between us, he knows I'd squash him like a bug.

 

Well my GF and I are two people who don't take flirting as not serious. She, more than I, sees flirting as cheating. I just see flirting as an interest in another party besides your SO, might as well be cheating, but not really. So I don't think she'd be cheating because she's very strict on that hypocritical **** when it comes to relationships. If she wouldn't want me doing something, she wouldn't do it herself.

[mr.dream merchant]

You sound like you know the game so let me ask you an be honest. Say you roll out to the club in a group and your boy brought a dime that you think belongs on your cock. You know how guys are ... we start inventing **** in our heads like oh I bet she really wants me and her man is lame as ****. She sneezes anywhere near us and we assume its a pass. So lets say this chick is all about you (in your mind) ... you're a little buzzed ... sweatin a bit ... dancing ... shorty is up close .... i mean, you're gonna tell me that you aren't gonna try? Al because some friend of a friend broughnt her?

 

Cmon kid, I ain't buying that ****. You'd whisper some game, hold her hand below the crowd line and try to establish that level with her. I mean ****, she's at a club right?

 

The bigger question here is why your girl is so hell bent on dragging you to clubs especially if she knows she's going to get hit on and it bothers you. Maybe that's the reason she wants to do it?

 

if it was me, I'd tell her to go about her business without me. Just make sure she's in my bed a 2 a.m.

 

I know it sounds crazy but word life duke, I wouldn't make a pass! I promise! I've been in that situation, where it wasn't just in my head. This chick really wanted me! But she was with my homeboy, and even though she was sexy, I didn't really have an urge. I guess I just take the principles waaaay more serious than other people. Fam is fam. I'd never do my boy like that. Now these cats I'm talking about, they don't even know me. They just happen to be rollin in the same group as me. But they know shorty is with me, and if they can't tell by the way she play me close in the club then that's just hopeful thinking. I mean, I know my chick is lovely but its the CLUB. There's bound to be sexier shorties in that joint who are single or whores who'd cheat on their man.

[donnamaybe]

Well my GF and I are two people who don't take flirting as not serious. She, more than I, sees flirting as cheating. I just see flirting as an interest in another party besides your SO, might as well be cheating, but not really. So I don't think she'd be cheating because she's very strict on that hypocritical **** when it comes to relationships. If she wouldn't want me doing something, she wouldn't do it herself.

 

Define flirting. Because we may be on different pages.

[Glenn Quagmire]

I know it sounds crazy but word life duke, I wouldn't make a pass! I promise! I've been in that situation, where it wasn't just in my head. This chick really wanted me! But she was with my homeboy, and even though she was sexy, I didn't really have an urge. I guess I just take the principles waaaay more serious than other people. Fam is fam. I'd never do my boy like that. Now these cats I'm talking about, they don't even know me. They just happen to be rollin in the same group as me. But they know shorty is with me, and if they can't tell by the way she play me close in the club then that's just hopeful thinking. I mean, I know my chick is lovely but its the CLUB. There's bound to be sexier shorties in that joint who are single or whores who'd cheat on their man.

 

Yeah, you wouldn't make a pass against YOUR BOY but you just said these dudes aren't your boys. So look at it from their perspective.

 

And you know guys (and girls) want what they can't have. Your girl goes from a 9 to 10 simply because she's on your arm. I'm telling you ... stop going to the club together.

[mr.dream merchant]

Define flirting. Because we may be on different pages.

 

In her words and mine, any exchange of words/body language that may show interest in said party. This doesn't include checking someone out when the SO isn't around.

[donnamaybe]

In her words and mine, any exchange of words/body language that may show interest in said party. This doesn't include checking someone out when the SO isn't around.

 

See, checking someone out when your SO isn't around would bother me MUCH more than playful bantering right in front of each other. The checking out thing indicates a more serious interest in someone else than the other would, at least to me. If my man is watching what I'm doing, he KNOWS what I'm doing. If he's NOT watching and I'm checking out other guys like that, it seems like it would be much more disrespectful of our relationship.

[mr.dream merchant]

Ianno, I'm putting too much thought into this. I'm just gonna go out and get ****ed up as usual. If someone crosses a boundary I'll handle it when it happens. If I gotta sneak a mother****er clean then I'ma sneak a mother****er clean. If I gotta yell at my chick then I'ma yell at my chick. If there's no drama? Well then hey, today was a good day. It is what it is.

[donnamaybe]

It's just that one, done right in front of you, involves no deception. The other does.

 

If you yell at your girl for something some guy does, that's not fair.

 

Good luck with the whole thing!

[Jersey Shortie]

Lighten up. It's not like she is cheating on you. Let her have her fun. She is going home with you. Not him.

[mr.dream merchant]

No doubt JS. I wouldn't yell at her for something a guy did, that's not fair lol.

[Dexter Morgan]

Guys and gals, do you thoroughly enjoy clubbing with your SO? If yes, for what reasons? If no, for what reasons?

 

That would be a no for me. To me, there is only one reason to go to a club...and thats to mingle with the opposite sex. Face it guys, would you go to a club where there were absolutely NO women? Maybe if you frequent the Blue Oyster.

 

 

For me, I'm torn. I enjoy clubbing and even more so with my GF. What I don't enjoy is when we go with a group of people, and one particular guy out of that group, who knows we're together, always makes passes at my GF. I get pissed off and my GF tells me I'm acting psycho.

 

Well if he is making passes at her, and she isn't doing anything about it, then she is disrespecting you by not doing anything...not only that, she is chastising you for being understandably upset by it.

 

maybe she isn't a keeper?

 

 

How is my anger not justified by some dick making a pass at my chick when he knows she's with me? Last time I almost got into a fight with one and my GF has been "scared" of going clubbing with me because I don't know how to act.

 

Yup...right there. This is the reason I don't go to clubs and won't date anyone who likes to go to them. people go there, whether they want to admit it or not, so they can try to get attention from the opposite sex.

 

And if I'm wrong...like I asked, would you go to a club if no women were there?

[Dexter Morgan]

Now I'm not saying I'm gonna flip out and ****ing go Incredible Hulk ASAP but it pisses me off enough to show on my face, and my GF starts bitching about how I always ruin the fun at the club, and how I'm a pyscho, and yadda yadda yadda.

 

You didn't ruin it....the guy that made the pass, and your GF who doesn't do anything about it ruined it.

 

Or maybe that IS part of the fun for her.

[Dexter Morgan]

Are you sure these guys are truly hitting on your girl, or are they just playfully flirting? You said she's a flirt in the past. Maybe she's just fun to flirt with and it means nothing?

 

Flirting rarely means nothing.

 

Flirting is showing sexual interest in another person, regardles of whether they plan to take it further or not.

[amerikajin]

Quagmire, you obviously know what's up with women. Great series of posts, dude.

 

You sound like you know the game so let me ask you an be honest. Say you roll out to the club in a group and your boy brought a dime that you think belongs on your cock. You know how guys are ... we start inventing **** in our heads like oh I bet she really wants me and her man is lame as ****. She sneezes anywhere near us and we assume its a pass. So lets say this chick is all about you (in your mind) ... you're a little buzzed ... sweatin a bit ... dancing ... shorty is up close .... i mean, you're gonna tell me that you aren't gonna try? Al because some friend of a friend broughnt her?

 

That's exactly how it works. Thing is, it's not the dude would do this normally if you all were hanging out having steaks at Outback over a beer or something. It's the context, and the context can invite temptation in situations...especially when you introduce a little alcohol into the picture. It's not like there would be big time flirting, but a little cheap momentary thrill with a hot bird, when your friend's distracted, under the influence of alcohol...yeah, a lot of guys would do it. That's also how a lot of guys and gals end up doing things on a guys/girls night out when their SO's not around.

 

The bigger question here is why your girl is so hell bent on dragging you to clubs especially if she knows she's going to get hit on and it bothers you. Maybe that's the reason she wants to do it?

 

I think you're onto something. Most hot women know they're attractive, which doesn't necessarily mean they have a lot of self-confidence, and in fact, many times they don't, which is why they like getting hit on, because it reinforces the fact that they're desired by other men. They may not be confident about the overall attractiveness, but they know that if they walk into a club, they'll turn heads, and they go to clubs to remind themselves that they're able to get guys rocks off once in a while. It's an ego booster. But it's an ego killer for a lot of guys.

 

if it was me, I'd tell her to go about her business without me. Just make sure she's in my bed a 2 a.m.

 

I think this is an excellent approach, although it's not without risks. It seems like part of the problem is that the OP sees this stuff going on and it drives him batty -- I went through the same thing a few years ago when I was dating this stunner. I actually found that I was much better off if she went to clubs with her girls and I went to different ones with my buds. We would agree to meet up later that night. Of course the risk is, she might hook up with some guy she knows well and has a thing for and well...you know. But seriously, I think it's actually much better for the health of a relationship to let a girl go do her thing once in a while.