MaNg0s Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Hey guys well basically I have been dating this girl for 11 months I do feel that I love her and she has told me the same thing but I have not met her parents. She has met mine she stays round almost every night but I on the other hand have not even been invited to her house . Her parents still don't know about me she has told me that she has told them but every time shes on the phone to one of her parents or brother she tells me to be quiet or if I ask her to say hello from me she just says no. To me it is alarming. The thing is its not that I want to meet her parents but knowing her ex's met her parents 2 months in to the relationship and also to feel like she appreciates my hospitality for her staying round by returning the favor and letting me into her home. Is this weird ? What can I do ? I have spoken to it with her and it just gets no where.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Uhhh. Weird. Is there something about you that runs counter to how she was raised? Like you're atheist and she was raised Catholic. Something along those lines? It sounds like she's ashamed of you. Rather than pushing her to introduce you, have you asked her WHY she's ashamed of you? Not just the simple, "Why haven't I met them, honey?" But point-blank, "Why are you ashamed of me?"
Author MaNg0s Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Yeah I have asked her why she is ashamed of me but she always replies I am not . What made me doubt that she was ashamed of me is when I met her friends that kinda showed me that in her social circle I was known as her bf. We have been dating for 11 months for the past 3 months the relationship has felt one sided. We argue everyday and this one thing hurts the most. I am not a bad guy and I do not treat her badly I treat her like my princess and sometimes I have doubts about our relationship. I have no idea what it is she is on her way over now because I spoke to one of her friends about it who has now told her lol so at least I now what todays argument is going to be about.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 She IS ashamed of you. I am a totally different person to my friends than I am to my family. I don't really fit in that well with my family. But you'd better believe if I don't want them to get to know the guy I'm dating, I'm ashamed of him. I don't want to get into the details of "why," but my XH - when we were dating... I did NOT want my mother to know about him. And in fact - the 4 years we were married, he never met any of my siblings from my mom's side. But I had no problem introducing him to any/all of my friends. If all she wants to do is fight about it and not come to some kind of compromise, then you have to decide if you'd like to continue to be in relationship with little Miss Drama Queen. I don't think it's unfair to wonder after 11 months together why she doesn't want her family to know about you.
dont_understand Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Hi, sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I just went through a similar experience with my now ex-boyfriend of a year (we broke up 10 days ago, Ive been NC for 7). He didn't want to include me in his family life; however, he had met all of my family including my 5-year-old son. I too felt like he was ashamed of me (being a single mother - he is European and Catholic), but he assured me this wasn't the case and that his family knew all about me and he couldn't wait for me to meet everyone. Just like you, I had met all of his friends....anway, after 11 months and a lot of arguing over it, he FINALLY introduced me to his parents...3 weeks later he broke up with me. Said after he introduced me to his parents, he realized our relationship and my situation was too much to handle. I would say that if you've been dating for 11 months and she hasn't introduced you to her family, that is a serious cause for concern - no matter what she says. Actions speak louder than words. Look at my ex, his parents live with him in HIS HOUSE, yet it took me almost a year to meet them and after I met them he still didn't invite me over.....red flags everywhere!
Recommended Posts