Funkymonkey Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Yep, I just turned 19, I am very confident in who I am, outgoing, unique and have been told that I am an attractive guy by lots of people, I'm short to a lot of people and I do feel short....5'10 but I try not to let that bother me as much. Thing is I've never had a girlfriend before. I've tried, most of the time I'd get a girl to like me, then I'll always end up doing something that will screw over all my chances, or I seem to get stuck in the friend zone, I won't lie to anyone but i'm pretty good at that. I go out quite a bit, I've tried changing up scenes but nothing seems to work. And on the other hand I've just tried to "let it happen" which seems to work for a lot of my friends. Yet still no luck. I feel doomed
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Well, based on your post, you obviously have friends that are female. How about you ask them if there's anything you can change? They know you first-person and could probably give you a tip or two.
IcemanJB Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 First of all, 5'10" is NOT short. I'm 5'6"...THAT is short. This gets pointed out to me frequently (like I haven't noticed ), but what can you do? The good Lord chose to bless me in other aspects. I do agree with SS. If you're already friend-zoned with these girls, ask them what you could change. Are you a challenge to girls? Do you treat them like you'd treat your buddy who's over watching the game? Do you know how to flirt? I have very few female friends, and the ones I do have I would never even consider dating. This isn't by choice, but it certainly is nice because it makes it VERY easy for me to tell if a girl is romantically interested in me. My general rules of thumb when I'm interested in a girl: make her laugh, be a challenge, have fun, don't give in easily, and take the lead. Hope this helps.
OverThinker Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I'm 5'8" which I consider about average hieght which puts you on the high side of things. With that said it sounds like you might have some self asteem issues. Girls tend to pick up on that pretty quickly and I am speaking from experience. Currently doing my damndest to not let that screwup the relationship I am in. You have to be happy with yourself before others can be happy with you. Good Luck and remember the IS someone out there for all of us. I just wish we didn't have to sort through all the junk mail to get the letter were waiting for but I guess that makes finding it even better
LoveLace Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 5'10 is the perfect height for me, I don't think guys are too short for me until it's 5'8 or less... 1st of all at your age, it's best to see everything as a learning experience...especially if your experience with dating is minimal, then there's a lot of learning left for you. There are ways to stay out of the "friend zone", you know...see a girl you like, start some casual convo, then ask her out on a date...then it's clear that you are not looking for a "friend" from the get go...and don't hold back on complimenting them...don't overdo it on that either, though. It takes time and experience to figure it all out...even after years of that, most of us still don't have it down 100%. I know how you feel though because I have a girl friend with guys begging her to be in relationships with them, but all I get is treated like major crap, or nothing at all. Confidence and attractiveness are not issues for me, either...I'm outgoing like you as well. Just try to go with the flow and let your confidence shine, just don't appear too cocky, and it sounds like you have everything else you need, just let time be on your side...
Author Funkymonkey Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 I geuss, me growing up with my freinds who are all 6'1 + does make me feel pretty damn short. Thanks for the replies guys, i'll defenetly try talking to some of my girl"friends" and see what I can improve on. I have noticed that, i've gotten girls to like me, but i've just never made a move simply because I either #1 overthink stuff #2 wait too long and just not make a move and have her lose interest in me. I can't seem to grow a pair when I finally like someone.
Odyssey Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Look, once you get to know a girl, sometimes you can't just "let it happen" and wait forever. You're going to have to take your chances and ask her out on a date (i don't mean you two hanging out together watching a dvd or something), but actually arrange a night out, pick her up and pay for her, etc... You might get rejected, but at least you'll know, rather than over-analyzing things to death and doing nothing. ...you won't always get the house, car or job that you want, but the flip side is, there are car salesman and employers that want you, and sometimes you don't want them - life goes on. You can do it. Good luck.
Mahatma Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Yep, I just turned 19, I am very confident in who I am, outgoing, unique and have been told that I am an attractive guy by lots of people, I'm short to a lot of people and I do feel short....5'10 but I try not to let that bother me as much. Thing is I've never had a girlfriend before. I've tried, most of the time I'd get a girl to like me, then I'll always end up doing something that will screw over all my chances, or I seem to get stuck in the friend zone, I won't lie to anyone but i'm pretty good at that. I go out quite a bit, I've tried changing up scenes but nothing seems to work. And on the other hand I've just tried to "let it happen" which seems to work for a lot of my friends. Yet still no luck. I feel doomed Well, I am 19 as well, so I think I have better grounds for giving my opinion than most of the oldies here. I would be willing to guess you are too friendly/nice to these girls. I found that if I showed my interest too soon in a girl who I was pursuing/who was pursuing me, that would be the end of it. It is as if they think they should go find something better if they won you that easily. No matter how pretty the girl is, or how badly you want in her pants, you have to stay cool and do not get all goo-goo over them. The problem here is, you can not play games either. You have to change your way of thinking. You have to stop thinking of all girls as prospective relationships, and just treat them like regular friends. Just because you meet a new girl does not mean you need to try to date them. Once you think this way, you will find you get way more girl's interest. P.S. I am 5'9" and I'm hardly short. As long as you're taller than a girl when she is wearing heels, your height does not matter.
Errant Posted May 17, 2009 Posted May 17, 2009 I would be willing to guess you are too friendly/nice to these girls. I found that if I showed my interest too soon in a girl who I was pursuing/who was pursuing me, that would be the end of it. It is as if they think they should go find something better if they won you that easily. No matter how pretty the girl is, or how badly you want in her pants, you have to stay cool and do not get all goo-goo over them How do you pursue someone without showing interest? Asking someone out, flirting with them, even just spending time with them to make them notice you... all of those things are because you're interested, right? So don't they show interest?
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